The Envoker
I haven’t been around BRPS for a while, as I got busy with life, but I’m thinking of coming back and having some more good times around here. As a housewarming present, I have a great internet tantrum for you.
This happened a while ago early May of this year, but in going over the Best Bad Apps (TM) of this year, I decided to share this one with you all.
As way of prelude: I live at a place called Sithspawn, been there coming on two years now. We’re an intermediate to advanced Star Wars RP site (more emphasis on advanced), set in a slightly alternate universe in the time period otherwise known as approx. 3000 BBY.
We’re a close knit group of players, but always happy to have new people come aboard and join our motley crew. Frankly, I’m amazed at how many good apps we get, as I’m so accustomed to SWRP dragging in horrible idiots. All good things have a bad side, though, and this fellow was one of them.
We have a rule that says, quite specifically (previously at the top of the page, now in a sidebar) to register with first and last names only. We don’t want titles, we don’t want nicknames. We want your characters first and last given names. End of story. We make that clear enough, and if you don’t get it right, we’ll happily change your login for you if you catch one of us who can do so.
That was this kids first misake. His login? The Envoker
It only got worse from there.
His application. The coding errors are, in fact, his.
Personal Information
Name/Handle: [edited to protect the stupid]
Age: 21
Gender: male
How did you find us?: Through a list of 50 other star wars role-playing sites
Have you read the rules?: Yes I have
Character Information:
Name: Satek [Last name omitted]
Nickname/Alias: Vogga
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Species: Mandalorian
Homeworld: Onderon
Force Sensitive: Yes
Body InformationClothing Outline: Mandalorian battle armor with mandalorian battle helmet, mandalorian heavy armor with mandalorian heavy helmet.
Face Outline: Charcol hair, green eyes, scar on left cheek,
Body Outline: n/a
Physical Build: Athletic
Height: 5’10
Combat Information
Faction: mandalorians
Rank: Verd
Class: warrior
Weapon: jorhan’s heavy blaster
Spaceship: the spectacle
Skills:
.skill
.skill
.skill
Additional Items:
Additional Information
Personality: Satek is a nice guy he rarely gets truly mad at anyone he can get annoyed but no on that knows him has ever seen him lose his cool. Satek has never taken the time to really think about why he is force sensitive he knows he is and he doesn’t really care that is. Satek is the type of pertson who does what he does well for credits and profit but not just that for recognition and admiration amongst other mandalorians as well.
b>History: Satek has been a soldier all his life he enlisted at the young age of 15 and gained strength and was hardened through all the teachings and battles . It all started when he was 15 he was with his dad being trained by him at that time satek looked up to his dad and saw him as a battle hardened warrior with great skill and he too wanted to be like him, so he learned from him he had learned about fighting way before he was 15 but he didn’t really understand and maybe he didn’t at age 15 but he was better prepared and had a interest at that age. On the final day of training Jorhan gave satek his weapon to use in the battles to come but also for his last session, but satek wasn’t truly ready for what was coming next. All of a sudden the sith came and started bombarding onderon attacking everyone , the mandalorians fought them off bravely and were doing well until Darth sorcean showed up then everything went to hell. Darth sorcean stormed through the crowds of mandalorians and sith and approached Jorhan and without even blinking struck him down with his lightsabre he went down but satek grabbed as he fell. The mandalorians won the battle though and darth sorcean fled. Many sith and mandalorians died that day but that was the day satek fully joined the mandalorians to seek his revenge on his father’s death . Now years later and satek is just like his dad: battle hardened and very skilled but now he understands the lessons he learned years ago and is applying that to everything he does now. Soon satek will get his revenge but only when he does will he truly understand his place in the galaxy.
RP Sample: Satek held his dads blaster in his left hand and touched it with his right hand as if he was rubbing it like it was lucky, his dad then said “ Ok now satek shoot at that target in front of you, don’t hold back and don’t be afraid it’s just a target” Satek held the blaster firmly with both is left and right hands he aimed at the target his hands started to shake and he could feel it in the gut of his stomach. “Satek come on don’t be afraid just breathe in and out and take your time” His dad was sure taking this easy but satek wasn’t he was not sure what he was doing . Jorhan walked over to satek and
Put his hands around the blaster overlapping sateks hands to help him get a better and accurate shot. Satek slong with his dads helped fired the blaster hitting the target, it was a fascinating feeling to be able to actually hit the target. It seemed Jorhan had confidence in him and saw potential in him as well and that made satek feel not only confident but strong too.
So with that mess there, our head Admin, Glorious Despot, and all around awesome gal, gives him the nicest response she can muster... a response not unlike other people we’ve liked but knew wouldn’t fit in have gotten before.
I'm afraid you have several mistakes in your application. Your account name does not follow our rules and your displayed quality is lacking compared to what we strive for on Sithspawn. I do not think this is the type of RP forum suitable for your current level of experience. I suggest you go elsewhere to broaden your experience in roleplaying. Other SW RP forums can be found on RPG-D. Once you have improved, you are free to come back and try again.
That should have gotten a ‘thank you for your time, I’ll see you later’ at the best, or, at the worst some complaining and wondering why he didn’t get a ‘full’ critique. The latter I could have understood to some extent, but what we got was instead... well, you’ll see.
wtf!? if my account name doesn't work then why did you allow it to go through? and another thing i am an expectionally talented rper with 9 years experience i have rped on many forums and have even created many of my own forums, now granted i'm not the "best" but what do YOU call the best? are you the best no you're just like me an rper. anyone that comes to any rp forum even if their very talented or not still learns about rping and how to rp better and by saying i need more experience and that this rp forum isn't for me is like cutting me down and sir that is a an insult at the highest level.If I need more experience then so do you, i'm damn tired of being rejected all the time by big shot rp admin guys like you just because youthink know how to rp better then me, the fact is you don't know how to rp better then me otherwise if you wouldn't be pushing me aside and instead would encourage me to stay here and improve myself.
I have gotten this crap all my life every forum i went to, its enough! you allowed my friend to join but rejected me!? You ethier let me stay and let me show you what i can do or you reject my friend because its not fair that he gets in and i don't! This is no threat but of course people like you would see it that way i know how you people think and how you work thats why i created so many rp forums and because of that i'm smarter. I am being mature and civil about this but if you keep pushing me around i will lash at you that's a warning. Oh and i honestly don't care if your an admin or a moderator again I know all about it so don't start saying that i'm out of line you just bascially shafted me and you don't think your not out of line!?
One last thing I came here to tp because I didn't think I would be bombarded at, I came here with my friend think that I was going to have a good time because this site looked nice and then i thought again that things aren't always what they seem and looks can be deceiving and that's exactly what is going on here. So if you want to lose a future invaluable talented rper because your a big tough moderator /admin go ahead but your the one missing out not me.
And if there’s one unspoken rule in SS, it’s don’t pick on our members. Especially not Indy, as she is our leader, and in doing so you’ll only invoke the wrath of the rest of staff. More specifically, our self-proclaimed “Elitest Bitch” (I put emphasis on it being self-proclaimed because I personally think she’s one of the best and awesomest people on the intranets), Manda. In the chain-o-command, she’s next. There’s nothing she loves more than tearing apart a bad app, and in insulting dear Indy, “The Envoker” was asking for it. Manda’s not afraid to tell people they suck to their face if they deserve it.
So, he got it.
Well, hello there Sparky. This is Amanda, and I'm here to tell you exactly how fucking wrong you are. Indy was nice to you; I won't be. Review the numbered list below, and learn your goddamn lesson:
1. We don't give a damn how much time you've allegedly spent on roleplaying forums. If said RP forums suck, you shouldn't exactly be proud of said experience, either. This is our sandbox. You play by our rules here, or you don't play at all. If you don't like it, go back to Gaia or Neopets or wherever you came from. We're not going to shed a tear for your loss.
2. Obey the rules, or GTFO. Your application violates several of our rules, which negates any potential that you will be approved ever.
3. All those other sites you've been rejected from? Have you ever considered the fact that the only thing in common with all those sites and ours was you?
4. We're not going to reject your friend just because you're a douchenozzle. If we accepted him, apparently he understood such concepts as Earth Logic which somehow escape you. Don't worry, we won't blame him for your being an asshole.
5. Learn how to fucking spellcheck. It's not that hard; most programs these days include spellcheckers.
6. You are not invaluable. You are not special. You are just another asshole who thinks he's too cool to obey the rules. We are not amused. Shape up, or ship the frack out.
7. What did punctuation ever do to you? Or grammar? Stop murdering it in the street, for God's sake.
8. Whiny people are not welcome here. We are not going to coddle you. If you want coddling, go QQ in your baby bed.”
“Sparky” as he is now called, decided to NOT do the smart thing, which would have been to leave and never look back with his tail tucked between his legs. Instead, he gave us this gem. This is THE best part of the entire entry, so if you read anything, read this.
YOU WANTA A GOD DAMN FUCKEN WAR!? I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR I WILL TEAR YOU FROM LIMB TO LIMB, I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL MY ANGER FUELS ME IT MAKES ME STRONG NOBODY THREATENS ME NO ONE! IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW NOTHING I'M BETTER THEN YOU I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN MY TALENT IN RPING SURPASSES ALL OF YOU!! YOU MOTHERFUCKEN GOD DAMN RETARD STEP THE FUCK DOWN. THE ONLY THING THATS HOLDING ME BACK IS MY FRIEND YOU FUCKEN MORON! OH AND NOBODY CARES HOW ANYONE TALKS OR SPELLS ON A DAMN FORUM OR IN REAL LIFE THIS A FUCKEN FORUM THIS ISN'T REAL! WHAT YOU THINK ANYONE CARES ABOUT YOU? THAT ANYONE ACTUALLY TAKES WHAT THEY DO ON HERE AND APPLY TO THEIR DAILY LIVES?, YOU THINK I CARE HOW YOU HAVE RULES AND REGULATIONS AND HOW YOU FOLLOW A CODE!? HAHAHA GIVE ME A BREAK NOBODY CARES! YOUR FULL OF SHIT! i'M NOT STOPPING AND I'M NOT STEPPING DOWN, DO YOUR DAMN WORST I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY. tHIS WILL ONLY PROVE HOW FUCKED IN THE HEAD YOU ARE!
Through all of this, pretty much every one of our little crew are sitting in the cbox. We are having a HAY DAY with this kid. We all love watching Manda eat up a “good” bad app, and Sparky just took the cake as far as bad apps go. His response only made it better. We’re having fun tearing apart his application itself as well as his comments, and honestly? We just want to share.
Congratulations, Sparky. You've officially made me bust a gut laughing at your pathetic attempt to be an Internet tough guy. You can 'try' all you want, but since we admins are the only ones who can approve your character, threatening one is about the height of stupidity. You, kid, are made of lose and fail.
I now call open season on this app! Anyone who likes can critique Sparky's jackassery for a while before I finally ban him.
It’s like a sport. Seriously.
Especially as after her call for open season, Sparky says: “empty words for an empty person” and that is all. I mean... LOL.
For your amusement, I’ll include our member responses (including my own) to this fool. They’re also good for a giggle, but if you got this far, you’ve read the part that truly matters. Though, there are a few more Sparky responses mixed in, which I suggest reading as well. :) They are extra hilarious.
Koko is up first:
I don’t want to invoke the wraith of the Envoker (you spelled that wrong by the way) so I’m going to be far nicer than my peers here. Occasionally, in the past, we’ve allowed blood offerings in place of actual RPing skills. A few of the more eccentric of us are into the occult and because of local laws goat’s blood is difficult to come by. For the brighter points of this work Shaun, I’d like to highlight that you did choose the best faction on the board and for a nickname to did take one of the more intriguing canon beings found on wookie.
I say ignore the assholes, finish this app up and send a pint of goat’s blood to three members. Which members need the goat’s blood and their addresses are of course part of your test. I’m looking forward to watching you perform admirably in your training my apprentice.
Then I get my say:
Hello Sparky! The nice admin is here to say a few words. I don't hate anyone, not even you! However, don't make the mistake of thinking that means I'm impressed by you as a human being. I'm not. In fact, all you've managed to really do is make "ROFLMAO" quite a lot! Thanks for making my morning.
First of all. No one cares about your internet hissy fit. No one. Except you. So stop causing yourself so much distress by flipping out like a ninja. It a) does you no good and b ) just makes you look like a laughingstock. We all know this isn't real. In fact, we emphasize very much that it's just a game. We're here to have fun. The reason Indy (Wes Loran) told you to look elsewhere is because a) you are low enough level of RPer that you wouldn't have fun here and b ) spending our time trying to 'teach' someone like you our ways of doing things is very unfun for us. Get it? Got it? Doubt it, but if you did, good for you.
You are not the first person we've redirected. You will not be the last. Stop crying, it's just a game. Also. Cap locks are not scary, especially when the content is barely logical and/or literate.
And dear. All your foolish comments aside? Your app failed on about every level imaginable. I didn't even look at it at first because the coding was so destroyed that I couldn't get my brain to want to give it the time of day. And then, after your nice little explosion at our Glorious Despot (re: Indy), I read it, and I instantly wished I hadn't. You write a worse application than my eleven year old cousin, and he doesn't even like writing all that much.
Do what Indy says. Go find another site. A site where you can grow up. Far away from us. Thanks for you time! You won't be forgotten around here, but probably not for the reasons you would hope. :)
Sparky again!:
fragile words shall fall on deaf ears
Spiffy says:
I've been waiting for this.
1. Mandalorians are not a SPECIES, they are a culture. If you had even glanced or done any research on any site anywhere, you would realize that. The only Mandalorian 'race' are the Taungs, and they died out years ago. Besides, I have a feeling the Taungs would have just killed your character at birth, if only to spare themselves the humiliation.
2. So your character doesn't have a body? Sweet! Does he float around looking in on naked chicks sleeping at night? That sounds to be about your style, so far.
3. Yeah, apparently your character has mad skills, alright. That is, if he had skills. Then again, you could probably only put 'taking up valuable oxygen' as a skill, or even 'wasting living space' as a skill, since that seems to be all your character is good at.
4. I've seen pigs with more personality than your character. In fact, I believe my 4 year old cousin can write a better application, and I'd be willing to bet on that. At least she FOLLOWS INSTRUCTION.
5. "Satek has never taken the time to really think about why he is force sensitive he knows he is and he doesn’t really care that is. "
Ah, another age old example of trying to get into a Faction you know shit about. Mandalorians don't like Force Sensitives, they don't trust them, and none of them are /OK/ with it. In fact, most FS try to hide that they're FS. Then again, this isn't really a huge mistake, considering some of your others.
6. He was 15? Ok. He was 15? Ok. He was 15? OK, we GET IT. Just for information purposes, Mandalorians go into the trials when they're 13, but they have only been trained in the basics of combat, not anything more specific. Then until they're 18 or something like that, they join the fleet. Mandalorians don't /enlist/, they /are/. But I'm sorta wasting my time, telling you that. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can ask someone for help if they don't know, but that might be giving you too much credit.
7. There are no SITH. Did you even bother to even glance at the thread link containing the plot of this board? To mention it, I don't recall the Sith/Cult/Robot Chickens attacking Onderon, ever, in the plot line. Then again, since you think you're so uber, I guess that fucking around with the plot everyone else is following isn't beyond you.
8. "Waah, Daddy, I don't want to shoot the TARGET." Unless there was a person strapped up up there, what the hell is he afraid of?
And now, I will move on to your comments. This is the fun part.
9. Any half witted moron could create a board. Hell, an autistic one armed blind monkey could have written a better application than this, and create an rp board.
10. "I have gotten this crap all my life every forum i went to, its enough! "
...
...
Umm, you ever wonder why the hell you have gotten this at every decent forum you've been to? Here's a hint: Grammar, spelling, and researching your character is IMPORTANT. It would also help if you read the plot of the board. You're the kind of loser that probably posted yourself as a dragon in a Hogwarts rp on Neopets, aren't you?
11. Yes, capitalizing your entire post makes us REALLY take you seriously. I'm telling you, I'm sorry for everything we've said right now.
So, in conclusion, I don't care if you're the last brain dead, spelling-retarded, egomaniac loser on the internet, I wouldn't rp with you to save my life. Sure, continue to stick around, we like the entertainment value around here. But if you're smart, you will take your Sith ass back to Neopets. Perhaps you'll find your intellectual equal among the 8 year olds there.
Diane takes a crack:
My turn! Oh joy of joys. Look, kid, it's painfully obvious that you're an emotionally unstable child. I blame society, personally. Maybe your mommy breastfed you for a bit too long. Maybe your daddy spanked you too hard. The point is that no one gives a flying fuck what your issues are. You don't have a pony's chance in a glue factory of getting an application accepted here. You're wasting valuable Gaya...I mean Gaia...time by arguing and typing in caps. Kudos on that, because we all know that the best way of expressing your anger is through that pretty little button under the tab key. Also, you're not a Sith Lord. Don't cry about it, buckaroo. Maybe if you ask Santa Claus really nicely, you'll get a toy lightsaber for Christmas.
And with that, let's get on with our lives, shall we?
PS: Darth Vogga doesn't exist, and it's a stupid name. SUCKA.
Oh look, Sparky just doesn’t know when to quit:
darkness is the absence of light, but the light is fueled by the darkness and the darkness is fueled bty the light, but what then is the absence of both dark and light?
Truff isn’t amused either:
Firstly Sparky... Let me congratulate you on your epic use of suck. I believe that the list format started by Shay is about the best way I can put this down. Besides, there's WAY too much wrong with this for me to even attempt it otherwise. As Shay already addressed what was wrong with the app itself, I will choose (like many of my fellow members I am sure) to address all that is wrong with what you have decided to say after being denied.
1. The Admins don't moderate the names that are registered, for there's a HUGE banner up at the top that says - and I quote - "Please register with first and last names ONLY". It's only at the top of every freaking page you open on here, so I don't think that's really a defense in your position. That's just you chosing to ignore the rules placed here because you think you're beyond them. Case in point "YOU THINK I CARE HOW YOU HAVE RULES AND REGULATIONS AND HOW YOU FOLLOW A CODE!?" I think I've made my case clear, and any jury would side with me on that assessment.
2. I would love to see you try to tear any one of us "limb from limb". Not only is that a feat physically impossible for any human, it seriously had me out of my chair, rolling on the floor and laughing. Mental image, flashback to Episode IV: A New Hope: "Yeah, but droids don't tear people's arms out of their sockets when they lose." So unless you're a Wookiee in real life I'm going to continue laughing to the point of pissing myself. Then I'm going to change and laugh some more, because you my friend, are hilarious.
3. Personally I wish to know how exactly it is you're going to make anyone's life a "living Hell". Do you even know what Hell is like? Have you personally been there? What about those that don't believe in Hell? What then? You don't define what it is you're going to do so your threat is rather pointless if you want anyone to feel fear rather than a cramp in their side from laughing so hard.
4. It's not anger that makes you strong, that's endorphines and they wear off rather quick, leaving you feeling ten times weaker than you started. Having dealt with anger issues in my past I can say this with a great deal of certainty.
5. Threatening someone by saying "If I was a Sith Lord" isn't fear inducing, it's hilarious! Again, I rolled on the floor laughing my ass off at that one. And of course, even this threat is made moot by your later claim of "THIS A FUCKEN FORUM THIS ISN'T REAL!" Also... your grammar is made of suck and fail, as evidenced by said quote.
6. Contrary to what you may believe about the Admins here, they do know something. They know how to make a board fun and make it last for all those that enjoy roleplaying. I've only been here a few months but I can see the level of devotion and dedication all of the members - not just the Admins - have to making this a wonderful place to play.
7. "I'M BETTER THEN YOU I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN MY TALENT IN RPING SURPASSES ALL OF YOU!!" - Put up or shut up. I can almost guarantee without a shadow of a doubt you're either a pre-teen or in your early teens. Considering the majority of us are in our late teens - some of us even in our twenties - I doubt you have the level of experience to back up said claim. So far you've proven you can't roleplay as good as anyone else here. You've also proven as volatile as a sodium bar being introduced to water.
8. Admins aren't going to step down for stupidity. In fact, it usually makes them more intent on getting their point across that you're not fit to play on their board. ESPECIALLY when you go around threatening them and proclaiming yourself better than them.
9. "OH AND NOBODY CARES HOW ANYONE TALKS OR SPELLS ON A DAMN FORUM OR IN REAL LIFE..." On the contrary, I do very much care how people spell on a "damn forum". I like to be able to understand the people I'm trying to write with. If I can't, then the game's no fun. I also care how people talk in real life, as well as how they spell. Again, for the same reasons. If you can't understand the person you're talking with, how can you expect to interact with them on even the most basic of levels?
10. "THAT ANYONE ACTUALLY TAKES WHAT THEY DO ON HERE AND APPLY TO THEIR DAILY LIVES?" First off, I would like to point out that this is an incomplete sentence and I'm docking you an extra 10 points from your quiz scores. Secondly, I do take what I do here and apply it to my daily life. It helps to build my writing skills, as well as advance my vocabulary. So... Yes, someone does.
11. "YOU THINK I CARE HOW YOU HAVE RULES AND REGULATIONS AND HOW YOU FOLLOW A CODE!? HAHAHA GIVE ME A BREAK NOBODY CARES!" This one I've already addressed, save for the last part, so I'll simply answer with another "Yes someone does." Without rules we'd have people like you playing on the board. In fact, all the good roleplayers - not just skill I'm talking about here, but personality - would be driven off by people like you, causing the board to fall into suck.
12. "i'M NOT STOPPING AND I'M NOT STEPPING DOWN, DO YOUR DAMN WORST I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY." Way to leave caps lock on and then forget about that little fact. Again, -10 for capitalization errors. Also, you won't be allowed to do this all day. Once we're done with our assessments, you'll be banned and we won't see you again.
13. "tHIS WILL ONLY PROVE HOW FUCKED IN THE HEAD YOU ARE!" Au contrare, it only proves how fucked in the head YOU are. Also, my French sucks so if I spelled that wrong that's why. English is my first language, so I expect to type that correctly, not so much those I'm unfamiliar with.
I believe that I have laid out all the points pertanent to my assessment of your skills - or lack thereof. Now on to my fellow members. Fellow members?
No, really, Sparky, just shut up if you know what’s good for you:
emotions can be etheir used as a powerful tool or used to control ones self, but its how you use them that affects you
Logan thinks you’re pretty funny too:
I love your contradictions! =) Weeee you wish you were a sith!! Oh big whoop, I wished I was a Jedi for four years of my life! You'll get over it eventually, don't worry. Oh, and don't worry since this is 'real life' I probably don't have to worry about you force pulling my arms off anytime soon. Which, would be pretty sweet, I won't lie! Anyway, I'd like to comment on something. Since you do seem to have 'force caps' I'd like to make sure you learn to use it better. It seems to have failed right "i'M " there "tHERE" there, and in numerous places in your bio! Yay for caps fail! Anyway, I'd just like to tell you that there are so many thing wrong with this bio that it'd take me my whole life to point them all out. You are an idol in my mind though, please feel free to write more posts so I can laugh some more. I'm a big fan of your work.
P.S. I do believe the only think you're 'envoking' is the wrath of the spelling and grammar gods. I think they might have force powers too =P Seeya 'round bud!
Tris, our resident Canadian for who English isn’t even a first language for says more literately than Sparky:
Good afternoon, Sparky!
As this is a joyous occasion, I'll make a pleasure out of explaining you in detail why you are highest concentration of Fail recorded in human history.
1) Why was your account allowed to go through? Well, the Staff assumed you were not a complete imbecile and would eventually read the rules before posting your application - obviously a mistake of judgement on their part, but doesn't it happen to the best of us? (ETA by me: the real reason it went through was because we don’t have a filter system. There’s no ‘approval’ or administering to who gets verified. The only verification that is needed is email verification, which the user does. As admin, we don’t touch the usernames except to delete those who failed to follow the rules as outlined.)
2)
QUOTE
i am an expectionally talented rper with 9 years experience
I suppose said exceptional talent exempts you from concepts such as grammar, syntax or even the occasional capital letter? I'll go on a limb here and say you might pass to history as the first person to make a spellcheck program weep.
3)
QUOTE
the fact is you don't know how to rp better then me otherwise if you wouldn't be pushing me aside
I'll admit I'm no expert in deciphering whatever dialect you speak, but would you please explain the logic behind that particular affirmation? I got a headache trying to and eventually put it down to the fact that you're simply whining at this point. In case you were wondering, stating things repeatedly or hitting Caps Locks before writing them doesn't make it an argument.
4)
QUOTE
thats why i created so many rp forums and because of that i'm smarter
*cough* So let me get this straight: being systematically refused in every forum until you were forced to make your own makes you smarter than people who have been running one for several years? Normally I'd let you figure out I'm being sarcastic, but I've learned not to count on your cognitive capacities, so here,s a hint: the only thing you're smarter than is a lobotomized goat.
5)
QUOTE
This is no threat
...
QUOTE
i will lash at you
... Should I even bother to type it out?
6)
QUOTE
I am being mature and civil about this
Delusion - google it.
7)
QUOTE
that is a an insult at the highest level
Right, so ignoring the most basic of rules of the forum, insulting the person who created the site, threatening the mods and disregarding even the most elemantary of writing rules isn't insulting? Your application might be a joke, my friend, but at this stage no one is laughing.
8)
QUOTE
IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!!
I regret to inform you, however, that you are not a Sith Lord. Even if your inability to become a fictional character is deplorable - indeed, it would be much easier to shut you in a tiny box and drop it in the ocean - I imagine I'll just be satisfied with the fact that you've been making a show of yourself in epic proportions.
9)
QUOTE
OH AND NOBODY CARES HOW ANYONE TALKS OR SPELLS
As all good - and pathetic - things come to an end, I'll leave you to puzzling out why you want to practice a hobby of which the main point is writing in an interesting and enjoyable manner if you are really of the opinion I've just quoted?
In conclusion, grow up, get a life, graduate from your first year of High School and get some help for those anger issues of yours. Really, I'm not kidding, get help.
Chad has his two credits:
Look homie, I'm going to keep this short and sweet so that I don't further your interest in suicide due to your lack of a cerebral cortex.
I'm sorry to hear about the fact that you are an expectionally talented rper. Last I heard, Kossie was the only pregnant one around here. Congrats on the PHAIL baby.
You wanna hear an insult at the highest level? Fine, here it is: Fuck you. The end.
fragile words shall fall on deaf ears : substitue fragile with epic and deaf with retarded assmonkey, and you've got yourself a viable quote.
I'm not feeling quite good enough to continue raping you via the interwebz, so I'll leave it to my site-mates. (no homo) Adieu, ass monkey, may the PHAIL be with you in all that you phail at.
And at the end of the day, Chris gets the final say:
Fitting that this is my first post back.
*rubs eyes* Sorry I think I had something retarded in my eyes. Oh no, nevermind, you're app really is that bad, and you really are that much of an immature, narcissistic little prick.
Oh, waah your friend got in and you didn't? Oh, it's not fair? Well maybe your friend has half of a brain and writes at higher than a second grade level. And then of course there's this little number:
QUOTE
YOU WANTA A GOD DAMN FUCKEN WAR!? I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR I WILL TEAR YOU FROM LIMB TO LIMB, I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL MY ANGER FUELS ME IT MAKES ME STRONG NOBODY THREATENS ME NO ONE! IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW NOTHING I'M BETTER THEN YOU I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN MY TALENT IN RPING SURPASSES ALL OF YOU!!
I can honestly say that that was the most completely idiotic thing I have ever read. Everybody who read that surely suffered a severe drop in IQ. You are without a doubt the biggest moron to ever lay your filthy eyes on Sithspawn. May God have mercy on your pitiful, pitiful soul.
Manda concludes:
Okay, we've all had our fun. Sparky is now banned. We'll wait to see if we get Sparky II: Electric Boogaloo someday!
We were nice? No. Were we really amsused? Heck freakin’ yes. Sparky has gone down in SS history as we predicted he would, and now all we have to do is say his name and we all burst into giggles and quotes of “IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!”
Because really, if you’re going to suck, might as well suck in an Epic fashion.
And with that, I'm going to bed, what with it being Christmas Eve tomorrow and all...
This happened a while ago early May of this year, but in going over the Best Bad Apps (TM) of this year, I decided to share this one with you all.
As way of prelude: I live at a place called Sithspawn, been there coming on two years now. We’re an intermediate to advanced Star Wars RP site (more emphasis on advanced), set in a slightly alternate universe in the time period otherwise known as approx. 3000 BBY.
We’re a close knit group of players, but always happy to have new people come aboard and join our motley crew. Frankly, I’m amazed at how many good apps we get, as I’m so accustomed to SWRP dragging in horrible idiots. All good things have a bad side, though, and this fellow was one of them.
We have a rule that says, quite specifically (previously at the top of the page, now in a sidebar) to register with first and last names only. We don’t want titles, we don’t want nicknames. We want your characters first and last given names. End of story. We make that clear enough, and if you don’t get it right, we’ll happily change your login for you if you catch one of us who can do so.
That was this kids first misake. His login? The Envoker
It only got worse from there.
His application. The coding errors are, in fact, his.
Personal Information
Name/Handle: [edited to protect the stupid]
Age: 21
Gender: male
How did you find us?: Through a list of 50 other star wars role-playing sites
Have you read the rules?: Yes I have
Character Information:
Name: Satek [Last name omitted]
Nickname/Alias: Vogga
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Species: Mandalorian
Homeworld: Onderon
Force Sensitive: Yes
Body InformationClothing Outline: Mandalorian battle armor with mandalorian battle helmet, mandalorian heavy armor with mandalorian heavy helmet.
Face Outline: Charcol hair, green eyes, scar on left cheek,
Body Outline: n/a
Physical Build: Athletic
Height: 5’10
Combat Information
Faction: mandalorians
Rank: Verd
Class: warrior
Weapon: jorhan’s heavy blaster
Spaceship: the spectacle
Skills:
.skill
.skill
.skill
Additional Items:
Additional Information
Personality: Satek is a nice guy he rarely gets truly mad at anyone he can get annoyed but no on that knows him has ever seen him lose his cool. Satek has never taken the time to really think about why he is force sensitive he knows he is and he doesn’t really care that is. Satek is the type of pertson who does what he does well for credits and profit but not just that for recognition and admiration amongst other mandalorians as well.
b>History: Satek has been a soldier all his life he enlisted at the young age of 15 and gained strength and was hardened through all the teachings and battles . It all started when he was 15 he was with his dad being trained by him at that time satek looked up to his dad and saw him as a battle hardened warrior with great skill and he too wanted to be like him, so he learned from him he had learned about fighting way before he was 15 but he didn’t really understand and maybe he didn’t at age 15 but he was better prepared and had a interest at that age. On the final day of training Jorhan gave satek his weapon to use in the battles to come but also for his last session, but satek wasn’t truly ready for what was coming next. All of a sudden the sith came and started bombarding onderon attacking everyone , the mandalorians fought them off bravely and were doing well until Darth sorcean showed up then everything went to hell. Darth sorcean stormed through the crowds of mandalorians and sith and approached Jorhan and without even blinking struck him down with his lightsabre he went down but satek grabbed as he fell. The mandalorians won the battle though and darth sorcean fled. Many sith and mandalorians died that day but that was the day satek fully joined the mandalorians to seek his revenge on his father’s death . Now years later and satek is just like his dad: battle hardened and very skilled but now he understands the lessons he learned years ago and is applying that to everything he does now. Soon satek will get his revenge but only when he does will he truly understand his place in the galaxy.
RP Sample: Satek held his dads blaster in his left hand and touched it with his right hand as if he was rubbing it like it was lucky, his dad then said “ Ok now satek shoot at that target in front of you, don’t hold back and don’t be afraid it’s just a target” Satek held the blaster firmly with both is left and right hands he aimed at the target his hands started to shake and he could feel it in the gut of his stomach. “Satek come on don’t be afraid just breathe in and out and take your time” His dad was sure taking this easy but satek wasn’t he was not sure what he was doing . Jorhan walked over to satek and
Put his hands around the blaster overlapping sateks hands to help him get a better and accurate shot. Satek slong with his dads helped fired the blaster hitting the target, it was a fascinating feeling to be able to actually hit the target. It seemed Jorhan had confidence in him and saw potential in him as well and that made satek feel not only confident but strong too.
So with that mess there, our head Admin, Glorious Despot, and all around awesome gal, gives him the nicest response she can muster... a response not unlike other people we’ve liked but knew wouldn’t fit in have gotten before.
I'm afraid you have several mistakes in your application. Your account name does not follow our rules and your displayed quality is lacking compared to what we strive for on Sithspawn. I do not think this is the type of RP forum suitable for your current level of experience. I suggest you go elsewhere to broaden your experience in roleplaying. Other SW RP forums can be found on RPG-D. Once you have improved, you are free to come back and try again.
That should have gotten a ‘thank you for your time, I’ll see you later’ at the best, or, at the worst some complaining and wondering why he didn’t get a ‘full’ critique. The latter I could have understood to some extent, but what we got was instead... well, you’ll see.
wtf!? if my account name doesn't work then why did you allow it to go through? and another thing i am an expectionally talented rper with 9 years experience i have rped on many forums and have even created many of my own forums, now granted i'm not the "best" but what do YOU call the best? are you the best no you're just like me an rper. anyone that comes to any rp forum even if their very talented or not still learns about rping and how to rp better and by saying i need more experience and that this rp forum isn't for me is like cutting me down and sir that is a an insult at the highest level.If I need more experience then so do you, i'm damn tired of being rejected all the time by big shot rp admin guys like you just because youthink know how to rp better then me, the fact is you don't know how to rp better then me otherwise if you wouldn't be pushing me aside and instead would encourage me to stay here and improve myself.
I have gotten this crap all my life every forum i went to, its enough! you allowed my friend to join but rejected me!? You ethier let me stay and let me show you what i can do or you reject my friend because its not fair that he gets in and i don't! This is no threat but of course people like you would see it that way i know how you people think and how you work thats why i created so many rp forums and because of that i'm smarter. I am being mature and civil about this but if you keep pushing me around i will lash at you that's a warning. Oh and i honestly don't care if your an admin or a moderator again I know all about it so don't start saying that i'm out of line you just bascially shafted me and you don't think your not out of line!?
One last thing I came here to tp because I didn't think I would be bombarded at, I came here with my friend think that I was going to have a good time because this site looked nice and then i thought again that things aren't always what they seem and looks can be deceiving and that's exactly what is going on here. So if you want to lose a future invaluable talented rper because your a big tough moderator /admin go ahead but your the one missing out not me.
And if there’s one unspoken rule in SS, it’s don’t pick on our members. Especially not Indy, as she is our leader, and in doing so you’ll only invoke the wrath of the rest of staff. More specifically, our self-proclaimed “Elitest Bitch” (I put emphasis on it being self-proclaimed because I personally think she’s one of the best and awesomest people on the intranets), Manda. In the chain-o-command, she’s next. There’s nothing she loves more than tearing apart a bad app, and in insulting dear Indy, “The Envoker” was asking for it. Manda’s not afraid to tell people they suck to their face if they deserve it.
So, he got it.
Well, hello there Sparky. This is Amanda, and I'm here to tell you exactly how fucking wrong you are. Indy was nice to you; I won't be. Review the numbered list below, and learn your goddamn lesson:
1. We don't give a damn how much time you've allegedly spent on roleplaying forums. If said RP forums suck, you shouldn't exactly be proud of said experience, either. This is our sandbox. You play by our rules here, or you don't play at all. If you don't like it, go back to Gaia or Neopets or wherever you came from. We're not going to shed a tear for your loss.
2. Obey the rules, or GTFO. Your application violates several of our rules, which negates any potential that you will be approved ever.
3. All those other sites you've been rejected from? Have you ever considered the fact that the only thing in common with all those sites and ours was you?
4. We're not going to reject your friend just because you're a douchenozzle. If we accepted him, apparently he understood such concepts as Earth Logic which somehow escape you. Don't worry, we won't blame him for your being an asshole.
5. Learn how to fucking spellcheck. It's not that hard; most programs these days include spellcheckers.
6. You are not invaluable. You are not special. You are just another asshole who thinks he's too cool to obey the rules. We are not amused. Shape up, or ship the frack out.
7. What did punctuation ever do to you? Or grammar? Stop murdering it in the street, for God's sake.
8. Whiny people are not welcome here. We are not going to coddle you. If you want coddling, go QQ in your baby bed.”
“Sparky” as he is now called, decided to NOT do the smart thing, which would have been to leave and never look back with his tail tucked between his legs. Instead, he gave us this gem. This is THE best part of the entire entry, so if you read anything, read this.
YOU WANTA A GOD DAMN FUCKEN WAR!? I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR I WILL TEAR YOU FROM LIMB TO LIMB, I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL MY ANGER FUELS ME IT MAKES ME STRONG NOBODY THREATENS ME NO ONE! IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW NOTHING I'M BETTER THEN YOU I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN MY TALENT IN RPING SURPASSES ALL OF YOU!! YOU MOTHERFUCKEN GOD DAMN RETARD STEP THE FUCK DOWN. THE ONLY THING THATS HOLDING ME BACK IS MY FRIEND YOU FUCKEN MORON! OH AND NOBODY CARES HOW ANYONE TALKS OR SPELLS ON A DAMN FORUM OR IN REAL LIFE THIS A FUCKEN FORUM THIS ISN'T REAL! WHAT YOU THINK ANYONE CARES ABOUT YOU? THAT ANYONE ACTUALLY TAKES WHAT THEY DO ON HERE AND APPLY TO THEIR DAILY LIVES?, YOU THINK I CARE HOW YOU HAVE RULES AND REGULATIONS AND HOW YOU FOLLOW A CODE!? HAHAHA GIVE ME A BREAK NOBODY CARES! YOUR FULL OF SHIT! i'M NOT STOPPING AND I'M NOT STEPPING DOWN, DO YOUR DAMN WORST I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY. tHIS WILL ONLY PROVE HOW FUCKED IN THE HEAD YOU ARE!
Through all of this, pretty much every one of our little crew are sitting in the cbox. We are having a HAY DAY with this kid. We all love watching Manda eat up a “good” bad app, and Sparky just took the cake as far as bad apps go. His response only made it better. We’re having fun tearing apart his application itself as well as his comments, and honestly? We just want to share.
Congratulations, Sparky. You've officially made me bust a gut laughing at your pathetic attempt to be an Internet tough guy. You can 'try' all you want, but since we admins are the only ones who can approve your character, threatening one is about the height of stupidity. You, kid, are made of lose and fail.
I now call open season on this app! Anyone who likes can critique Sparky's jackassery for a while before I finally ban him.
It’s like a sport. Seriously.
Especially as after her call for open season, Sparky says: “empty words for an empty person” and that is all. I mean... LOL.
For your amusement, I’ll include our member responses (including my own) to this fool. They’re also good for a giggle, but if you got this far, you’ve read the part that truly matters. Though, there are a few more Sparky responses mixed in, which I suggest reading as well. :) They are extra hilarious.
Koko is up first:
I don’t want to invoke the wraith of the Envoker (you spelled that wrong by the way) so I’m going to be far nicer than my peers here. Occasionally, in the past, we’ve allowed blood offerings in place of actual RPing skills. A few of the more eccentric of us are into the occult and because of local laws goat’s blood is difficult to come by. For the brighter points of this work Shaun, I’d like to highlight that you did choose the best faction on the board and for a nickname to did take one of the more intriguing canon beings found on wookie.
I say ignore the assholes, finish this app up and send a pint of goat’s blood to three members. Which members need the goat’s blood and their addresses are of course part of your test. I’m looking forward to watching you perform admirably in your training my apprentice.
Then I get my say:
Hello Sparky! The nice admin is here to say a few words. I don't hate anyone, not even you! However, don't make the mistake of thinking that means I'm impressed by you as a human being. I'm not. In fact, all you've managed to really do is make "ROFLMAO" quite a lot! Thanks for making my morning.
First of all. No one cares about your internet hissy fit. No one. Except you. So stop causing yourself so much distress by flipping out like a ninja. It a) does you no good and b ) just makes you look like a laughingstock. We all know this isn't real. In fact, we emphasize very much that it's just a game. We're here to have fun. The reason Indy (Wes Loran) told you to look elsewhere is because a) you are low enough level of RPer that you wouldn't have fun here and b ) spending our time trying to 'teach' someone like you our ways of doing things is very unfun for us. Get it? Got it? Doubt it, but if you did, good for you.
You are not the first person we've redirected. You will not be the last. Stop crying, it's just a game. Also. Cap locks are not scary, especially when the content is barely logical and/or literate.
And dear. All your foolish comments aside? Your app failed on about every level imaginable. I didn't even look at it at first because the coding was so destroyed that I couldn't get my brain to want to give it the time of day. And then, after your nice little explosion at our Glorious Despot (re: Indy), I read it, and I instantly wished I hadn't. You write a worse application than my eleven year old cousin, and he doesn't even like writing all that much.
Do what Indy says. Go find another site. A site where you can grow up. Far away from us. Thanks for you time! You won't be forgotten around here, but probably not for the reasons you would hope. :)
Sparky again!:
fragile words shall fall on deaf ears
Spiffy says:
I've been waiting for this.
1. Mandalorians are not a SPECIES, they are a culture. If you had even glanced or done any research on any site anywhere, you would realize that. The only Mandalorian 'race' are the Taungs, and they died out years ago. Besides, I have a feeling the Taungs would have just killed your character at birth, if only to spare themselves the humiliation.
2. So your character doesn't have a body? Sweet! Does he float around looking in on naked chicks sleeping at night? That sounds to be about your style, so far.
3. Yeah, apparently your character has mad skills, alright. That is, if he had skills. Then again, you could probably only put 'taking up valuable oxygen' as a skill, or even 'wasting living space' as a skill, since that seems to be all your character is good at.
4. I've seen pigs with more personality than your character. In fact, I believe my 4 year old cousin can write a better application, and I'd be willing to bet on that. At least she FOLLOWS INSTRUCTION.
5. "Satek has never taken the time to really think about why he is force sensitive he knows he is and he doesn’t really care that is. "
Ah, another age old example of trying to get into a Faction you know shit about. Mandalorians don't like Force Sensitives, they don't trust them, and none of them are /OK/ with it. In fact, most FS try to hide that they're FS. Then again, this isn't really a huge mistake, considering some of your others.
6. He was 15? Ok. He was 15? Ok. He was 15? OK, we GET IT. Just for information purposes, Mandalorians go into the trials when they're 13, but they have only been trained in the basics of combat, not anything more specific. Then until they're 18 or something like that, they join the fleet. Mandalorians don't /enlist/, they /are/. But I'm sorta wasting my time, telling you that. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can ask someone for help if they don't know, but that might be giving you too much credit.
7. There are no SITH. Did you even bother to even glance at the thread link containing the plot of this board? To mention it, I don't recall the Sith/Cult/Robot Chickens attacking Onderon, ever, in the plot line. Then again, since you think you're so uber, I guess that fucking around with the plot everyone else is following isn't beyond you.
8. "Waah, Daddy, I don't want to shoot the TARGET." Unless there was a person strapped up up there, what the hell is he afraid of?
And now, I will move on to your comments. This is the fun part.
9. Any half witted moron could create a board. Hell, an autistic one armed blind monkey could have written a better application than this, and create an rp board.
10. "I have gotten this crap all my life every forum i went to, its enough! "
...
...
Umm, you ever wonder why the hell you have gotten this at every decent forum you've been to? Here's a hint: Grammar, spelling, and researching your character is IMPORTANT. It would also help if you read the plot of the board. You're the kind of loser that probably posted yourself as a dragon in a Hogwarts rp on Neopets, aren't you?
11. Yes, capitalizing your entire post makes us REALLY take you seriously. I'm telling you, I'm sorry for everything we've said right now.
So, in conclusion, I don't care if you're the last brain dead, spelling-retarded, egomaniac loser on the internet, I wouldn't rp with you to save my life. Sure, continue to stick around, we like the entertainment value around here. But if you're smart, you will take your Sith ass back to Neopets. Perhaps you'll find your intellectual equal among the 8 year olds there.
Diane takes a crack:
My turn! Oh joy of joys. Look, kid, it's painfully obvious that you're an emotionally unstable child. I blame society, personally. Maybe your mommy breastfed you for a bit too long. Maybe your daddy spanked you too hard. The point is that no one gives a flying fuck what your issues are. You don't have a pony's chance in a glue factory of getting an application accepted here. You're wasting valuable Gaya...I mean Gaia...time by arguing and typing in caps. Kudos on that, because we all know that the best way of expressing your anger is through that pretty little button under the tab key. Also, you're not a Sith Lord. Don't cry about it, buckaroo. Maybe if you ask Santa Claus really nicely, you'll get a toy lightsaber for Christmas.
And with that, let's get on with our lives, shall we?
PS: Darth Vogga doesn't exist, and it's a stupid name. SUCKA.
Oh look, Sparky just doesn’t know when to quit:
darkness is the absence of light, but the light is fueled by the darkness and the darkness is fueled bty the light, but what then is the absence of both dark and light?
Truff isn’t amused either:
Firstly Sparky... Let me congratulate you on your epic use of suck. I believe that the list format started by Shay is about the best way I can put this down. Besides, there's WAY too much wrong with this for me to even attempt it otherwise. As Shay already addressed what was wrong with the app itself, I will choose (like many of my fellow members I am sure) to address all that is wrong with what you have decided to say after being denied.
1. The Admins don't moderate the names that are registered, for there's a HUGE banner up at the top that says - and I quote - "Please register with first and last names ONLY". It's only at the top of every freaking page you open on here, so I don't think that's really a defense in your position. That's just you chosing to ignore the rules placed here because you think you're beyond them. Case in point "YOU THINK I CARE HOW YOU HAVE RULES AND REGULATIONS AND HOW YOU FOLLOW A CODE!?" I think I've made my case clear, and any jury would side with me on that assessment.
2. I would love to see you try to tear any one of us "limb from limb". Not only is that a feat physically impossible for any human, it seriously had me out of my chair, rolling on the floor and laughing. Mental image, flashback to Episode IV: A New Hope: "Yeah, but droids don't tear people's arms out of their sockets when they lose." So unless you're a Wookiee in real life I'm going to continue laughing to the point of pissing myself. Then I'm going to change and laugh some more, because you my friend, are hilarious.
3. Personally I wish to know how exactly it is you're going to make anyone's life a "living Hell". Do you even know what Hell is like? Have you personally been there? What about those that don't believe in Hell? What then? You don't define what it is you're going to do so your threat is rather pointless if you want anyone to feel fear rather than a cramp in their side from laughing so hard.
4. It's not anger that makes you strong, that's endorphines and they wear off rather quick, leaving you feeling ten times weaker than you started. Having dealt with anger issues in my past I can say this with a great deal of certainty.
5. Threatening someone by saying "If I was a Sith Lord" isn't fear inducing, it's hilarious! Again, I rolled on the floor laughing my ass off at that one. And of course, even this threat is made moot by your later claim of "THIS A FUCKEN FORUM THIS ISN'T REAL!" Also... your grammar is made of suck and fail, as evidenced by said quote.
6. Contrary to what you may believe about the Admins here, they do know something. They know how to make a board fun and make it last for all those that enjoy roleplaying. I've only been here a few months but I can see the level of devotion and dedication all of the members - not just the Admins - have to making this a wonderful place to play.
7. "I'M BETTER THEN YOU I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN MY TALENT IN RPING SURPASSES ALL OF YOU!!" - Put up or shut up. I can almost guarantee without a shadow of a doubt you're either a pre-teen or in your early teens. Considering the majority of us are in our late teens - some of us even in our twenties - I doubt you have the level of experience to back up said claim. So far you've proven you can't roleplay as good as anyone else here. You've also proven as volatile as a sodium bar being introduced to water.
8. Admins aren't going to step down for stupidity. In fact, it usually makes them more intent on getting their point across that you're not fit to play on their board. ESPECIALLY when you go around threatening them and proclaiming yourself better than them.
9. "OH AND NOBODY CARES HOW ANYONE TALKS OR SPELLS ON A DAMN FORUM OR IN REAL LIFE..." On the contrary, I do very much care how people spell on a "damn forum". I like to be able to understand the people I'm trying to write with. If I can't, then the game's no fun. I also care how people talk in real life, as well as how they spell. Again, for the same reasons. If you can't understand the person you're talking with, how can you expect to interact with them on even the most basic of levels?
10. "THAT ANYONE ACTUALLY TAKES WHAT THEY DO ON HERE AND APPLY TO THEIR DAILY LIVES?" First off, I would like to point out that this is an incomplete sentence and I'm docking you an extra 10 points from your quiz scores. Secondly, I do take what I do here and apply it to my daily life. It helps to build my writing skills, as well as advance my vocabulary. So... Yes, someone does.
11. "YOU THINK I CARE HOW YOU HAVE RULES AND REGULATIONS AND HOW YOU FOLLOW A CODE!? HAHAHA GIVE ME A BREAK NOBODY CARES!" This one I've already addressed, save for the last part, so I'll simply answer with another "Yes someone does." Without rules we'd have people like you playing on the board. In fact, all the good roleplayers - not just skill I'm talking about here, but personality - would be driven off by people like you, causing the board to fall into suck.
12. "i'M NOT STOPPING AND I'M NOT STEPPING DOWN, DO YOUR DAMN WORST I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY." Way to leave caps lock on and then forget about that little fact. Again, -10 for capitalization errors. Also, you won't be allowed to do this all day. Once we're done with our assessments, you'll be banned and we won't see you again.
13. "tHIS WILL ONLY PROVE HOW FUCKED IN THE HEAD YOU ARE!" Au contrare, it only proves how fucked in the head YOU are. Also, my French sucks so if I spelled that wrong that's why. English is my first language, so I expect to type that correctly, not so much those I'm unfamiliar with.
I believe that I have laid out all the points pertanent to my assessment of your skills - or lack thereof. Now on to my fellow members. Fellow members?
No, really, Sparky, just shut up if you know what’s good for you:
emotions can be etheir used as a powerful tool or used to control ones self, but its how you use them that affects you
Logan thinks you’re pretty funny too:
I love your contradictions! =) Weeee you wish you were a sith!! Oh big whoop, I wished I was a Jedi for four years of my life! You'll get over it eventually, don't worry. Oh, and don't worry since this is 'real life' I probably don't have to worry about you force pulling my arms off anytime soon. Which, would be pretty sweet, I won't lie! Anyway, I'd like to comment on something. Since you do seem to have 'force caps' I'd like to make sure you learn to use it better. It seems to have failed right "i'M " there "tHERE" there, and in numerous places in your bio! Yay for caps fail! Anyway, I'd just like to tell you that there are so many thing wrong with this bio that it'd take me my whole life to point them all out. You are an idol in my mind though, please feel free to write more posts so I can laugh some more. I'm a big fan of your work.
P.S. I do believe the only think you're 'envoking' is the wrath of the spelling and grammar gods. I think they might have force powers too =P Seeya 'round bud!
Tris, our resident Canadian for who English isn’t even a first language for says more literately than Sparky:
Good afternoon, Sparky!
As this is a joyous occasion, I'll make a pleasure out of explaining you in detail why you are highest concentration of Fail recorded in human history.
1) Why was your account allowed to go through? Well, the Staff assumed you were not a complete imbecile and would eventually read the rules before posting your application - obviously a mistake of judgement on their part, but doesn't it happen to the best of us? (ETA by me: the real reason it went through was because we don’t have a filter system. There’s no ‘approval’ or administering to who gets verified. The only verification that is needed is email verification, which the user does. As admin, we don’t touch the usernames except to delete those who failed to follow the rules as outlined.)
2)
QUOTE
i am an expectionally talented rper with 9 years experience
I suppose said exceptional talent exempts you from concepts such as grammar, syntax or even the occasional capital letter? I'll go on a limb here and say you might pass to history as the first person to make a spellcheck program weep.
3)
QUOTE
the fact is you don't know how to rp better then me otherwise if you wouldn't be pushing me aside
I'll admit I'm no expert in deciphering whatever dialect you speak, but would you please explain the logic behind that particular affirmation? I got a headache trying to and eventually put it down to the fact that you're simply whining at this point. In case you were wondering, stating things repeatedly or hitting Caps Locks before writing them doesn't make it an argument.
4)
QUOTE
thats why i created so many rp forums and because of that i'm smarter
*cough* So let me get this straight: being systematically refused in every forum until you were forced to make your own makes you smarter than people who have been running one for several years? Normally I'd let you figure out I'm being sarcastic, but I've learned not to count on your cognitive capacities, so here,s a hint: the only thing you're smarter than is a lobotomized goat.
5)
QUOTE
This is no threat
...
QUOTE
i will lash at you
... Should I even bother to type it out?
6)
QUOTE
I am being mature and civil about this
Delusion - google it.
7)
QUOTE
that is a an insult at the highest level
Right, so ignoring the most basic of rules of the forum, insulting the person who created the site, threatening the mods and disregarding even the most elemantary of writing rules isn't insulting? Your application might be a joke, my friend, but at this stage no one is laughing.
8)
QUOTE
IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!!
I regret to inform you, however, that you are not a Sith Lord. Even if your inability to become a fictional character is deplorable - indeed, it would be much easier to shut you in a tiny box and drop it in the ocean - I imagine I'll just be satisfied with the fact that you've been making a show of yourself in epic proportions.
9)
QUOTE
OH AND NOBODY CARES HOW ANYONE TALKS OR SPELLS
As all good - and pathetic - things come to an end, I'll leave you to puzzling out why you want to practice a hobby of which the main point is writing in an interesting and enjoyable manner if you are really of the opinion I've just quoted?
In conclusion, grow up, get a life, graduate from your first year of High School and get some help for those anger issues of yours. Really, I'm not kidding, get help.
Chad has his two credits:
Look homie, I'm going to keep this short and sweet so that I don't further your interest in suicide due to your lack of a cerebral cortex.
I'm sorry to hear about the fact that you are an expectionally talented rper. Last I heard, Kossie was the only pregnant one around here. Congrats on the PHAIL baby.
You wanna hear an insult at the highest level? Fine, here it is: Fuck you. The end.
fragile words shall fall on deaf ears : substitue fragile with epic and deaf with retarded assmonkey, and you've got yourself a viable quote.
I'm not feeling quite good enough to continue raping you via the interwebz, so I'll leave it to my site-mates. (no homo) Adieu, ass monkey, may the PHAIL be with you in all that you phail at.
And at the end of the day, Chris gets the final say:
Fitting that this is my first post back.
*rubs eyes* Sorry I think I had something retarded in my eyes. Oh no, nevermind, you're app really is that bad, and you really are that much of an immature, narcissistic little prick.
Oh, waah your friend got in and you didn't? Oh, it's not fair? Well maybe your friend has half of a brain and writes at higher than a second grade level. And then of course there's this little number:
QUOTE
YOU WANTA A GOD DAMN FUCKEN WAR!? I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR I WILL TEAR YOU FROM LIMB TO LIMB, I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL MY ANGER FUELS ME IT MAKES ME STRONG NOBODY THREATENS ME NO ONE! IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW NOTHING I'M BETTER THEN YOU I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN MY TALENT IN RPING SURPASSES ALL OF YOU!!
I can honestly say that that was the most completely idiotic thing I have ever read. Everybody who read that surely suffered a severe drop in IQ. You are without a doubt the biggest moron to ever lay your filthy eyes on Sithspawn. May God have mercy on your pitiful, pitiful soul.
Manda concludes:
Okay, we've all had our fun. Sparky is now banned. We'll wait to see if we get Sparky II: Electric Boogaloo someday!
We were nice? No. Were we really amsused? Heck freakin’ yes. Sparky has gone down in SS history as we predicted he would, and now all we have to do is say his name and we all burst into giggles and quotes of “IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!”
Because really, if you’re going to suck, might as well suck in an Epic fashion.
And with that, I'm going to bed, what with it being Christmas Eve tomorrow and all...