(no subject)
I don't know what to do.
I am so tired of waiting. All I ever do is wait for people. I wait until it's convenient for them. It's never, ever about when it's convenient for me.
I wait for Casey to have time to talk to me, to listen. She calls me in the afternoon, and I push everything aside, I had been working on a really important paper that I needed to get done as soon as possible, but when she called, I put it all aside to answer her question - which, admittedly was not important. But I still made time for her. I am incredibly upset last night, and she can't give me five minutes, because she has to work on a paper. It's not fair.
No one ever has time to listen to me, I start to talk, and they just interrupt with something completely unrelated, and I never get to finish what I'm saying. No matter how much I need to talk about it.
All I have done for monthes is wait for Zev. I wait for him to get out of class, I wait for him to show up, I wait for him to call, I wait for him to finish his homework, I wait for him to get off the phone, I wait for him to get over his ex. I wait and wait and wait. And I never get anything in return. He does not call 9 times out of 10 when he says he will. I wait. And I am so tired of waiting, and I don't know what to do.
I never make anyone wait for me. I make time to listen to anyone who needs me to, and I can't get five minutes of anyone's time in return.
I give, and give. And I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I try to be a good friend, I try so hard that it hurts. I don't understand why I can't get anything in return.
Zev didn't even care that he forgot to call. Completely didn't care. And it hurts so bad.
I don't know what to do. I am so lost.
I am so tired of waiting. All I ever do is wait for people. I wait until it's convenient for them. It's never, ever about when it's convenient for me.
I wait for Casey to have time to talk to me, to listen. She calls me in the afternoon, and I push everything aside, I had been working on a really important paper that I needed to get done as soon as possible, but when she called, I put it all aside to answer her question - which, admittedly was not important. But I still made time for her. I am incredibly upset last night, and she can't give me five minutes, because she has to work on a paper. It's not fair.
No one ever has time to listen to me, I start to talk, and they just interrupt with something completely unrelated, and I never get to finish what I'm saying. No matter how much I need to talk about it.
All I have done for monthes is wait for Zev. I wait for him to get out of class, I wait for him to show up, I wait for him to call, I wait for him to finish his homework, I wait for him to get off the phone, I wait for him to get over his ex. I wait and wait and wait. And I never get anything in return. He does not call 9 times out of 10 when he says he will. I wait. And I am so tired of waiting, and I don't know what to do.
I never make anyone wait for me. I make time to listen to anyone who needs me to, and I can't get five minutes of anyone's time in return.
I give, and give. And I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I try to be a good friend, I try so hard that it hurts. I don't understand why I can't get anything in return.
Zev didn't even care that he forgot to call. Completely didn't care. And it hurts so bad.
I don't know what to do. I am so lost.