Brotherly Love
While I was gathering information for my part in the Sunday Evening Program at Young Women Camp, I came across a birthday poem I wrote for Tracy's brother Bryan, seven months before he died of cancer at age 43.
Hyrum and Joseph, Nephi and Jacob, Bryan and Tracy...each are examples of how Father wants to support us in this life through our families.
Nephi Was a "Middle Child"
“Birth order” is a big thing
I read about it while studying about discipline
And the development of children.
Besides, it is a buzz phrase,
When you want to sound like a mom who knows what she is doing.
Poor Matthew, I think, he is my middle child
No wonder he struggles.
He's not the first child, smothered in that protection and attention
That first children grow to dislike.
They tend to be achievers, driven by expectations
Because they are first.
And they’re not the baby,
Spoiled by mom and dad.
Youngest children get away with everything--
Just ask their siblings.
But Nephi was a middle child
I guess he broke the mold.
He was courageous, strong, and disciplined.
Choosing not to disobey and despise
As his two oldest siblings had done.
He set a new pattern:
Patient in tribulation,
Living with honor.
He was a tribute to his parents’ righteous living.
But I think he blessed his younger brother, Jacob, the most.
Jacob had the most to lose,
Had Nephi been less valiant.
Jacob, I imagine, followed Nephi everywhere he went
And Nephi didn’t seem to mind.
When Jacob was young, his parents were discouraged,
Exhausted by the eldest two who sapped their strength.
How they worried over them;
The burden was tremendous.
But Nephi sought for good
And Jacob was blessed by his love and his example.
In my mind, I journey forward in time:
Two millennium, five centuries, and seventy years later.
I see two brothers, like Nephi and Jacob.
Whose parents are faithful, yet pained.
The middle child is not Nephi, but Bryan Cole.
Their youngest like Jacob, is following his way.
And Bryan welcomes him for a decade of time-
Everywhere, even on his dates with girls.
The message is clear:
“You are important. You are my brother. I love you.”
Thirty years later, that boy has children of his own.
And me, his wife, who listens and learns.
He says to his boys, Matthew and Stephen:
“My brother took good care of me
He took me with him everywhere.
You need to be like that as brothers--
Loving each other, first.
And being friends, forever.”
My heart swells with happiness.
How can I describe the beauty of his counsel to our sons?
The bond my husband has with Bryan Cole
Is boundless, and eternal.
They are forever friends, whose link cannot be broken.
Someday, they will stand with Nephi and Jacob.
Examples of what Father wanted our lives together to be.
And we will see, that in spite of psychologists’ best research,
And in opposition to their findings
At least two “middle child” sons, exceeded every expectation.
And patterned, as our Eldest Brother,
Love in its most powerful form.
Thank you, Bryan Cole
For the joy you have brought to your brother.
For the wisdom your example gives to my sons.
Your life is a masterpiece
And we are grateful to be part of the frame
That makes your tapestry complete.