Ugh, it's that time of year again. Came back from my noontime walk soaked in sweat and red as a beet. I am going to have to start rolling out of bed earlier and walking first thing in the morning if I want to keep the rah-rah-exercise-endorphins going through the face-melting days of summer.
I am going to The Avengers with David tonight, and listen, y'all, chronic illness or no, I don't do movie theaters without snackage, so I calculated the carb content of popcorn by volume (100 cu. in. = 35). Heh. Pizza crust has 2 carbs per square inch, by the way. Diabetes is the most mathematical disease of all.
I need to find a way to tie fabric on my head that's classier than washerwoman kerchief but doesn't look like I'm trying to copy a hijab. (I find them aesthetically gorgeous, but I understand they have a religious and cultural significance that makes "ooh, shiny!" appropriation not very respectful).
I got invited to a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show next Saturday. It starts at midnight like what I will have to nap all day to make it through. I have an odd desire to dress up, and I have this outfit in my head that I have seen in eighty hundred movies but I can't find a screenshot of online: short-sleeved button-down shirt open over wifebeater, suspenders, fedora. Khaki pants maybe? I can only envision the top half, haha. I hope I can locate my fedora.
soaringdragon42 asks how my meals are going. The answer is ... not great. I think I am having trouble right now because I am actually kicking harmful behaviors for good instead of just subbing in other ways of not dealing with life, so I end up sitting there feeling my feelings, which are no fun to feel. I've been having problems on and off with gastrointestinal distress. And my depression is notably very strong right now, so of course that doesn't help. I am gaining weight steadily, and I have been successful at just keeping my head down and continuing to work on what I can work on, instead of snapping back the other way to try to reverse the trend and just prolonging the obsessions. Either I've risen above my setpoint, and so it will settle back down to something stable when my eating gets reliable, or I'm rising to meet my setpoint, in which case there's no point in expending all the effort to keep an artificially low weight so I might as well just wait for it to stop fluctuating and buy bigger pants. I avoid weight-loss-focused blogs and forums, and keep my nutrition surfing (yeah, that addiction hasn't budged) confined to blogs by people who are weight stable and don't talk about weight loss much if ever. I freak out a lot but I talk myself down a lot, too. Ooh, and I turned down free food yesterday without a mental struggle! I guess in a lot of ways I am doing really well. It's just the actual, proper, sit down and put food in your face part where I'm flailing. Food is stupid.
Pixel, the Worst Cat In The World, had to have incredibly expensive dental surgery BUT they also thought she might have jaw cancer and then the biopsy came back clean as a whistle. So I am so suffused with relief and joy that I do not even care how much she yowls, a state of affairs she is taking full advantage of. Also they shaved her and she looks so hilarious it is just great.
I want a sewing machine.
la la la