"I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep. If I ever hurt you, your revenge will be so sweet."

[dapperdevious]

Who: dapperdevious, justbeingaqueen and later, theundapperone
What: Choices and their consequences
Where: Halos Nightclub, Manhattan
When: A couple of days after THIS and THIS
WARNING: Explicit drug use and suicidal themes

Sebastian had managed to well-establish his new nightclub in Manhattan and the New York chapter of Halos was a roaring success, just like its Paris sister club. It had

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[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt released his grip on Sebastian so his hand could immediately clutch around the tiny cellophane bags. They were gripped in his palm so tightly his knuckles turned white and he pushed back from the desk to pace back and forth in front of it. "What do you fucking care what I'm going to lose? I have nothing left! He doesn't remember me! But you'll never fucking understand that, will you? You wanted to ruin everything we had from the minute you knew I existed! You don't get anything from me, Smyth! This is your fault! It's your fault I touched his stuff! Just don't touch me! Don't come near me! No one gets to touch me but Blaine and he... he..." He broke off with a broken sob, grabbing the back of one of the chairs in front of Sebastian's desk to hold himself upright when his legs felt like they were about to go out from under him. "H-He's dying... I-I can't... I can't..."

He just shook his head, tears spilling over when he turned and stumbled out of Sebastian's office. He made it to the bathrooms he had passed when he got off the elevator after telling the bouncer that Sebastian called him for an appointment. He slammed the door shut behind him and then dragged a decorative armchair in the corner over to lodge it in front of the door to lock it shut. He dropped the bags into the sink and was fumbling his wallet out of his pocket. But his hands were trembling so badly with desperation that it ended up in the sink too, all his credit cards being torn out of the slots roughly and spilling in a mess on top of the drugs. He was crying brokenly, and all he could hear over and over in his mind were the words Blaine's neurologist had just issued to him back at the hospital...

Kurt was called to the meeting room with the doctor, and a new specialist Kurt hadn't met before. And he wasn't alone, either. His dad and Carole were there with Finn, and also Blaine's mother and his older brother, Cooper, that Kurt hadn't see in years. Kurt sat flanked by Carole and his dad, whilst Finn was parked off the side in his chair a short distance from where Mrs Anderson and Cooper were seated. That alone set Kurt's already volatile emotions into overdrive, and it was probably why everyone was there to start with, because he wasn't going to process everything. His dad kept a firm hand on Kurt's shoulder the entire time, and even moreso when the doctor started to explain everything.

[justbeingaqueen]

"It's an extreme case of circumstances were the mixture of Blaine's medicine used to treat his exacerbated epilepsy over the last six months has caused a series of side effect reactions internally. There could have been a weakness developed in Blaine's kidneys from the meningitis he sustained six years ago, but not on any distinct level to cause him difficulties. With the increased levels of medications used to manage the unpredictable nature of the seizures of lately, it looks as though Blaine has suffered some rare side effects that's led to renal dysfunction. When the kidneys begin to fail, it builds up a large level of toxins in the blood that can lead to neurological symptoms such as memory loss, confusion, decreased alertness, delirium. The kidneys have lost the function to filter the toxins from the blood and it's a domino effect. We've started him on a range of supportive treatment immediately in hopes some function might return, but at this point, it's not looking like it will be much of a success. Which is why we need to discuss with Kurt the transition to dialysis, and the option of a kidney transplant..."

Kurt's head was beyond spinning by that point. He had just gotten up, told his father he needed to go to the bathroom and just to give him a few minutes. Of course, he never went to the bathroom. His head and heart were spiralling out of control, and he could feel himself losing a grip on reality. It's what led him to Sebastian, who was always a sure thing. Kurt snatched up one of his gold cards and a hundred dollar bill along with one of the bags of powder. He dropped heavily to his knees, but the immediate pain there was nothing like that churning inside him. He poured the powder out onto the bathroom tiles in front of him, cutting it with the credit card that was tossed aside indifferently. He couldn't do any of this without the drugs. They helped him think, and he couldn't think, he couldn't have his husband's life in his hands without some help to deal with it. He was just inhaling the haphazard little lines when he heard Sebastian calling through the door at him... something which Kurt ignored in favour of pushing back and waiting for the abrupt hit to his system.

[dapperdevious]

As soon as Sebastian grabbed the door handle and tried to push the door open (which wasn't lockable) and it didn't give, it felt like someone tipped ice-cold water down his back with how hard and fast the feeling of utter dread hit him. He had just given a known addict enough drugs to really fuck himself up, and now said addict with a suicidal history had locked himself in one of the staff bathrooms of Sebastian's newly established nightclub. Even though it was fruitless, he tried to turn the handle, shaking at it and pounding on the door. "Kurt! Open the fucking door!" he demanded, pushing his body weight against it to try and get it to dislodge, but he wasn't exactly built like a brick shithouse to be able to budge it.

He could hear Kurt crying on the inside, and he felt a nausea twisting in his stomach at the news that Blaine was dying. What the fuck had happened? Blaine was in hospital, Sebastian knew that much. He had just assumed it was the epilepsy he had learned about... could that kill you? Either way, it was sort of irrelevant right now. Sebastian assumed that because Blaine wasn't actually dead yet he probably needed his husband, and Sebastian's otherwise good week just turned to complete shit because no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, Kurt Hummel would always be under his skin and relentlessly. He banged on the door again with his fist. "Goddamnit, Kurt! Open the fucking door! Don't you dare fucking OD on me! I know you hate my fucking guts, but just stop and think about Blaine before you do anything stupid!"

[justbeingaqueen]

The hit didn't come nearly as quickly as Kurt remembered it. Everything still hurt inside and he looked down at his hands as his vision swam with the tears and the whole thing just suddenly felt... laughable. It was like some crappy plot out of a movie. Just when everything was going okay, suddenly one of the main characters needed a kidney. He laughed out loud, but it was a short, hoarse back and there was no real mirth behind it at all. He leaned forward, peering at the three lines of coke left smeared out before him, taunting him, but the hundred dollar bill unravelled in his fingers and fluttered to the floor. Oh hell, he had sunk pretty low this time, snorting directly off a bathroom floor. But what did it all matter if Blaine died? It wasn't commuting in Kurt's mind how epilepsy could go to failing kidneys and without any warning. All the doctor speak was turning to mush on his lips before the words even really reached Kurt. Kurt had just sat staring slackly at the doctor's mouth and although minute pieces of information filtered through... all the bad stuff... all Kurt took from it was that Blaine was going to die.

He watched the lines of powder then and stroked his fingers through it when the woozy sensation of getting high came, but there was no instant euphoria this time. It still hurt inside, and that was supposed to stop! That's when he noticed drops of dark red splattering in the pristinely white powder and he put his hand up, find his nose was bleeding. He just wiped the back of his hand over it and reached up into the sink for the packet of pills. There would be a few grand worth of stuff in there if it was the good stuff, but right now, Kurt really just didn't give a fuck. All he could think about was how painful failing kidneys had to be, and that Blaine was suffering that, and would die like that. Medical remedies didn't commute to a clinically depressed and drug-craving mindset.

He couldn't even hear Sebastian yelling at him and banging on the door. Once again, he just wanted that unwavering and crushing ache inside to stop. There was no Blaine to tell him he loved him, to reach out and hug him when it got too hard. There was nothing there for Kurt to grab hold off to stay afloat. The pills were poured into his palm, and in one choking gag, he tipped the whole lot down his throat and swallowed them dry.

[dapperdevious]

Kurt was ignoring him, or too high to care to listen. There wasn't much grey area there. Still, Sebastian try the thumping on the door and yelling thing one more time, his voice raising even more when the panic started to set in what Kurt might actually do and Sebastian would never forgive himself if that happened. The shouting and the noise must have alerted his security staff, though, and a couple of his bouncers soon came running to see if something was wrong. "Just get the fucking door open!" Sebastian screamed at the, taking a side-step to get out of their way. Between the two of them, they probably had a lot more hope of breaking the door down than he did, or at least dislodging whatever it was Kurt had put there to hold it shut. He managed to deduce that the fact Kurt hadn't answered him wasn't a good sign. Even if he had mentioned Blaine to try and get through to Kurt, that could have counteracted Kurt's already harassed state of mind and pushed him over the edge, but it was all Sebastian had to call on because he really knew nothing of the specifics of Kurt's condition. Just that he was an addict, and potentially suicidal. Not a good mix at all.

Thank fuck, it didn't take long for the two guys to ram the door down with their weight behind the motion. The arm chair that had been lodged against the door bounced backwards and crashed into one of the cubicles, and Sebastian stumbled into the bathroom. Kurt was slumped on his side beneath the row of hand basins and the drugs were smeared across the tiles in a mix of blood that was obviously from Kurt's nose. It didn't look like he had hit his head or anything. He could hardly think straight, but he reasoned that Kurt had snorted some lines and possibly taken all the pills of the empty bags were anything to go by. "None of this goes beyond these four walls or I'll ruin you both!" Sebastian spat at his bouncers and they shared a glance of uncertainty before they nodded in agreement. Bouncing gigs that paid as well as Sebastian did in New York weren't all that easy to come by. "Go to the stairs, make sure no one comes up here. Except my brother..." he added as an after thought.

And then he was suddenly at a crossroads. He could call an ambulance, but it could be massive negative exposure for both him and Kurt... it might ruin them both... or he could try and deal with this first and only call in the paramedics if Kurt didn't come around. In a panic, Sebastian took out his cell phone and hit speed dial with Jeremy's number. "Jez, I'm in trouble. You need to get here ASAP. I need your help!" That was all he needed to say and Jeremy confirmed he was on his way, the apartment they shared just a couple of blocks from the club away. He ended the call and threw his phone off to the side, and then did the only thing he could think of... he turned Kurt further over onto his side and stuck his fingers down his throat to try and get him to puke those pills up.

[theundapperone]

It was early afternoon, and Jeremy was just home from work, a job of which he thankfully still had after Blaine dropped the assault charges against him. He had never been more relieved in his life when he got that particular phone call, because if he had ended up with a criminal record, no matter whether he was innocent or not, he would have lost his teaching licence and any ability to work with children in the future when that was his entire career. Sebastian's call made his blood run cold, and immediately, a billion different scenarios entered his mind (even Sebastian being dead, even if that was irrational considering he was just on the phone). It was Jeremy's worst nightmare that something bad might happen to his twin, so getting a phone call like this made him nearly crap himself. He was in nothing but his boxers, right in the middle of getting changed after work, when the call came. He haphazardly threw some clothes on, and just ran.

Literally. He ran the whole few blocks from their apartment to Sebastian's nightclub and was let right through security to go to the upper floor. He didn't miss the fact that security seemed to flank the doorways again as soon as he was through, and as he ran up the stairs, he looked back uncertainly at them, not sure what it meant or if it was just a nightclub thing. He didn't have a lot of experience with nightclubs. He had generally avoided the whole scene like that ever since his trashed and wasted identical twin pushed him in front of a speeding car when they were teenagers. Recreational substances really, really weren't his thing.

Which is why, when he was told to go to the staff bathrooms upstairs by one of the bouncers, and he entered the facilities to find Sebastian sat on the floor with - fuck, was that Kurt Hummel?! - sprawled unconscious in front of him with his head nursed in Sebastian's lap. There was blood littered around the scene and Sebastian's leg and the floor beside it was covered in vomit. Jeremy abruptly halted at the door, his track shoes squeaking on the tiles when he skidded to a stop. "W-What the f... what the... is he... did he... did you...?" he stammered in utter shock, the words forcing through a gasp for breath. "N-No! I can't handle this! Why did you call me?! Fuck, he needs an ambulance!"

[dapperdevious]

"Jez, no! Shit, I seriously need to you to not freak the fuck out on me right now! I know this sucks, and I know this is the last sort of shit you want to be handling, but I need you! I fucking need your help, dude. We can't call the paramedics. Not yet! Just... I think he's just had a bad hit. He was rambling about Blaine dying and he was completely strung. He blackmailed the shit out of me! He was trying to OD in here, but I can't just let him fucking do that! I... he's..." Sebastian stammered frantically, and he could feel a heavy sweat broken out over his skin as he sat there nursing Kurt's head right in the middle of all the mess.

Kurt's nose was bleeding and without anything in easy reach to grab, Sebastian just tried to wipe up the blood with the edge of his hand, only to have Kurt start retching again. He made sure he was braced over on his side, but it was just liquid coming up now. Now that he was this close to Kurt, he had been able to smell that he had been drinking too. All he had in his stomach must have been booze and pills, because it didn't look like he had eaten anything in a long time. "I don't have feelings for him anymore, alright?! I don't. He's married, but I... I did. Back then, okay?! And you don't get to fucking judge me on that! Everyone thinks Blaine was the one who got away, but it was Kurt. I backed off on Blaine when I had to, but Kurt... fucking got under my skin, and I need you to just fucking help me, Germ! Please. Please just help me with him for a few minutes so I can try and get him to come-to! If we rock up to the ER like this, it could ruin us both! I just need to get him awake and try to sober him, then I'll figure out what the fuck I should do next! I gave him the shit, I could go to jail for this!"