ruby's birth
i had just gone back to bed after getting up to use the bathroom & get another drink
of water. i was a bothered because i *had* to pee again! so, i rolled out of bed
again & as soon as i stood up, i realised i didn't have to pee; my water had broke!
i did a quiet little happy dance all the way back to the bathroom to check & see if
there was mec in the waters or if it was clear, & when it was clear i did another
little happy dance. it was 2.30 in the morning on friday, april 23rd, and i was 42
weeks & 5 days pregnant.
i gathered myself a bit & woke matthew up, telling him my water had finally broke.
he hopped up & started sweeping the floor. (for some reason i asked him weeks before
that when i told him i was in labor it would be awesome if he would sweep the
floors!) i called grace, my midwife, to let her know. (she was pregnant too, &
ended up having her own little girl five days after i gave birth. the night before,
we had discussed a ton of different scenarios, and what we were going to do about
them... if she went into labor when she was attending my birth, if she had her baby
before i had mine, etc etc...) she did a happy dance too! we talked for a few
minutes & i told her i would call her back when things started to pick up.
matthew & i hung out, got some things together for the boys, made coffee, did some
dishes... just sort of puttered around the house a bit for a few hours. i sat on
the balance ball a lot, & was having contractions that seemed regular, (we haven't
*timed* contractions with any of my births), but they weren't too intense. finally
though, around 5 am, i decided to call my parents to come & pick up the boys. as
soon as they were pulling out of the driveway with the boys, the surges definitely
got more intense. i called our doula around 6, and grace again around 6.30.
matthew turned some music on (of course i didn't want the birth mix i had worked on,
now!) & i set myself up in the dining room, sitting on the ball & leaning onto a
stack of pillows on the table. matthew sat with me, holding my hands, through each
contraction. it was really divine, to have a little bit of time to labor with just
matthew. we would talk or just look at each other in between the contractions, & it
just felt very sacred.
i didn't hear eileen come in, but she put her hands on my back & helped release my
hips a little during a contraction. it was great to have her here; she has such a
gentle voice & a very mother-earthy-lovely presence about her. she was a little
more chatty than i expected, but i knew that my senses were extremely heightened so
it didn't really bother me. when grace showed up, she just sat across from me at
the table, holding the space & observing while i was working. i was very quiet &
wasn't being vocal throughout the contractions this time, even though they seemed
to be just as intense as they were when i was birthing jonah. i was really, really
focused on my breathing & praying through each surge. i stood up once for grace to
get a listen to ruby, and noticed my legs were shaking. i thought maybe i was in
transition but then thought there was no way; i was too lucid & things weren't
that intense yet.
around 9 am, i got up to use the restroom & when i came out eileen & grace were
putting the kettle on for tea. we all talked for a few minutes about tea & i said i
was hungry so matthew gave me a granola bar to munch on. we walked around the house
a bit, trying to decide what to listen to, & just chit-chatted for a good twenty
minutes. i remember looking at the clock & seeing how light we were all being &
thinking that i had at least 3 or 4 more hours to go... & then, at 9.30, i sat back
down on the balance ball & the next contraction was much more powerful. i wasn't
comfortable sitting so i stood up. grace asked me where i wanted to have ruby & i
said the living room (we sleep on the futon there), & so she said it'd probably be a
good idea to make our way there. i kind of laughed at her, thinking there was no
way i was close to having ruby, i mean i couldn't *feel* her the way i had felt
jonah moving down... & things just didn't feel heavy enough.
(& we didn't do any cervical checks because i was group B + & didn't want to have
any unless grace felt it was necessary). but anyway, i took a step towards the
living room & had another intense contraction -- those lovely double peaks
with little recovery time -- & with every step another surge came. it
took me almost an hour to take 10 steps!
once i reached the bed, i tried sitting on my hands & knees but wasn't comfortable.
i leaned over the ball on the bed, but wasn't comfortable with that either. i told
grace i wanted to lay down, and eileen sat at my feet & had me put one foot on her
shoulder. immediately my body just started pushing like a mad woman, & i started
screaming (grace, eileen & matthew all say i wasn't screaming, but just sounding
really primal & really serious about birthing ruby. but my voice was hoarse the rest
of the day!) in one push i could feel ruby come down & eileen mentioned she was
going to support my perineum with some sweet almond oil on a washcloth. grace sat
up right beside me. with the next push i felt ruby's head come out, & just then
eileen said i had pushed her out to her cheeks. for some reason, this really
freaked me out & i closed my eyes & i must have looked upset or scared, because
grace very gently told me to open my eyes & to look at her; that ruby was fine &
with the next contraction she would be out so to just focus on that & not worry
about her. (i had asked grace to keep me present when i was pushing ruby out,
because with jonah i was still so torn about the women i knew who had lost their
babies during childbirth that i just Wanted Him Out & pushed with the mindset that i
needed to get him out so that i knew he was okay... & i wanted to let that go this
time & trust God & my body that ruby would be how she was supposed to be, whatever
that looked like.) grace's words definitely grounded me & with the next push ruby
was here. it was 10.55. she didn't make a sound, just looked around &
i just sat there for a few moments talking to her & touching her, asking her to stay
in her body, & then i picked her up & brought her to my chest. her cord had been
wrapped loosely around her neck once.
about 20 minutes later i pushed the placenta out. it had a few very large blood clots
in it & a few calcifications. (grace was pretty certain the clots were formed after
i had birthed ruby). after another hour or so matthew clamped & cut the umbilical
cord & grace prepared my placenta so i could make placenta smoothies
everyday for a few months.after that, she prepared the most wonderful
herb bath for me & checked me before i went to soak; no tearing!
i had tears with noah & jonah & was shocked that i didn't tear this time.
i also had a cervical prolapse with jonah's birth, and this time there was
nothing like that.
i took my bath, fell asleep in it for about half an hour, got out & dressed & went
back to bed with my new & perfect little girl.
She is more precious than rubies,
and none of the things you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are very pleasant,
and all her paths are peaceful.
She is like a tree of life to those who obtain her,
and everyone who grasps hold of her will be blessed.
proverbs 3:15-18
of water. i was a bothered because i *had* to pee again! so, i rolled out of bed
again & as soon as i stood up, i realised i didn't have to pee; my water had broke!
i did a quiet little happy dance all the way back to the bathroom to check & see if
there was mec in the waters or if it was clear, & when it was clear i did another
little happy dance. it was 2.30 in the morning on friday, april 23rd, and i was 42
weeks & 5 days pregnant.
i gathered myself a bit & woke matthew up, telling him my water had finally broke.
he hopped up & started sweeping the floor. (for some reason i asked him weeks before
that when i told him i was in labor it would be awesome if he would sweep the
floors!) i called grace, my midwife, to let her know. (she was pregnant too, &
ended up having her own little girl five days after i gave birth. the night before,
we had discussed a ton of different scenarios, and what we were going to do about
them... if she went into labor when she was attending my birth, if she had her baby
before i had mine, etc etc...) she did a happy dance too! we talked for a few
minutes & i told her i would call her back when things started to pick up.
matthew & i hung out, got some things together for the boys, made coffee, did some
dishes... just sort of puttered around the house a bit for a few hours. i sat on
the balance ball a lot, & was having contractions that seemed regular, (we haven't
*timed* contractions with any of my births), but they weren't too intense. finally
though, around 5 am, i decided to call my parents to come & pick up the boys. as
soon as they were pulling out of the driveway with the boys, the surges definitely
got more intense. i called our doula around 6, and grace again around 6.30.
matthew turned some music on (of course i didn't want the birth mix i had worked on,
now!) & i set myself up in the dining room, sitting on the ball & leaning onto a
stack of pillows on the table. matthew sat with me, holding my hands, through each
contraction. it was really divine, to have a little bit of time to labor with just
matthew. we would talk or just look at each other in between the contractions, & it
just felt very sacred.
i didn't hear eileen come in, but she put her hands on my back & helped release my
hips a little during a contraction. it was great to have her here; she has such a
gentle voice & a very mother-earthy-lovely presence about her. she was a little
more chatty than i expected, but i knew that my senses were extremely heightened so
it didn't really bother me. when grace showed up, she just sat across from me at
the table, holding the space & observing while i was working. i was very quiet &
wasn't being vocal throughout the contractions this time, even though they seemed
to be just as intense as they were when i was birthing jonah. i was really, really
focused on my breathing & praying through each surge. i stood up once for grace to
get a listen to ruby, and noticed my legs were shaking. i thought maybe i was in
transition but then thought there was no way; i was too lucid & things weren't
that intense yet.
around 9 am, i got up to use the restroom & when i came out eileen & grace were
putting the kettle on for tea. we all talked for a few minutes about tea & i said i
was hungry so matthew gave me a granola bar to munch on. we walked around the house
a bit, trying to decide what to listen to, & just chit-chatted for a good twenty
minutes. i remember looking at the clock & seeing how light we were all being &
thinking that i had at least 3 or 4 more hours to go... & then, at 9.30, i sat back
down on the balance ball & the next contraction was much more powerful. i wasn't
comfortable sitting so i stood up. grace asked me where i wanted to have ruby & i
said the living room (we sleep on the futon there), & so she said it'd probably be a
good idea to make our way there. i kind of laughed at her, thinking there was no
way i was close to having ruby, i mean i couldn't *feel* her the way i had felt
jonah moving down... & things just didn't feel heavy enough.
(& we didn't do any cervical checks because i was group B + & didn't want to have
any unless grace felt it was necessary). but anyway, i took a step towards the
living room & had another intense contraction -- those lovely double peaks
with little recovery time -- & with every step another surge came. it
took me almost an hour to take 10 steps!
once i reached the bed, i tried sitting on my hands & knees but wasn't comfortable.
i leaned over the ball on the bed, but wasn't comfortable with that either. i told
grace i wanted to lay down, and eileen sat at my feet & had me put one foot on her
shoulder. immediately my body just started pushing like a mad woman, & i started
screaming (grace, eileen & matthew all say i wasn't screaming, but just sounding
really primal & really serious about birthing ruby. but my voice was hoarse the rest
of the day!) in one push i could feel ruby come down & eileen mentioned she was
going to support my perineum with some sweet almond oil on a washcloth. grace sat
up right beside me. with the next push i felt ruby's head come out, & just then
eileen said i had pushed her out to her cheeks. for some reason, this really
freaked me out & i closed my eyes & i must have looked upset or scared, because
grace very gently told me to open my eyes & to look at her; that ruby was fine &
with the next contraction she would be out so to just focus on that & not worry
about her. (i had asked grace to keep me present when i was pushing ruby out,
because with jonah i was still so torn about the women i knew who had lost their
babies during childbirth that i just Wanted Him Out & pushed with the mindset that i
needed to get him out so that i knew he was okay... & i wanted to let that go this
time & trust God & my body that ruby would be how she was supposed to be, whatever
that looked like.) grace's words definitely grounded me & with the next push ruby
was here. it was 10.55. she didn't make a sound, just looked around &
i just sat there for a few moments talking to her & touching her, asking her to stay
in her body, & then i picked her up & brought her to my chest. her cord had been
wrapped loosely around her neck once.
about 20 minutes later i pushed the placenta out. it had a few very large blood clots
in it & a few calcifications. (grace was pretty certain the clots were formed after
i had birthed ruby). after another hour or so matthew clamped & cut the umbilical
cord & grace prepared my placenta so i could make placenta smoothies
everyday for a few months.after that, she prepared the most wonderful
herb bath for me & checked me before i went to soak; no tearing!
i had tears with noah & jonah & was shocked that i didn't tear this time.
i also had a cervical prolapse with jonah's birth, and this time there was
nothing like that.
i took my bath, fell asleep in it for about half an hour, got out & dressed & went
back to bed with my new & perfect little girl.
She is more precious than rubies,
and none of the things you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are very pleasant,
and all her paths are peaceful.
She is like a tree of life to those who obtain her,
and everyone who grasps hold of her will be blessed.
proverbs 3:15-18