(no subject)
so i'm in france. i GUESS that's cool.
just kidding. b/c really it's the most amazing thing i have ever EVER experienced.
i've been meeting so many people, and places, and challenges within myself. i've never felt so confident, but so UNSURE. like all the people at my university are beautiful and have all this MONEY, and are dressed so appropriately french...and that makes my stomach twist up in hundreds of knots.
and i know it's ridiculous, really, b/c i'm not like some OUTCAST...you know the poor fat girl with holes in her clothes who picks her zits during class. (those kind of girls don't exist in this town.) i'm just the girl in dirty tennis shoes, a fleece jacket and the black scarf she bought to fit in with all the frenchies.
but. i really am confident most of the time. it's just sometimes i slip into this...i don't belong here, things are so different than home thing. but it's less and less everyday. AND. i really have met the most incredible and FUN humans. we have a blast everyday. and all of our days are full of adventure and excitement and NONSTOP LAUGHTER. we're EUPHORIC being american girls in this wonderful, new country. really though, men LOVE american girls...as soon as they hear you speaking english they're practically planning your wedding. (or their plans to get you in the sack...ya know. either one)
but it's exciting and different, and more than i could have ever anticipated. i am lucky to be a 19 year old woman on a voyage all by herself in such a beautiful place.
homesickness is something new to me...and i like the feeling of it. like how sore you feel the day after a long run. it hurts, but there's this weird sort of gratification knowing that you hurt b/c your doing something so good for you.... and the more i miss home, the more i can see God EVERYWHERE. the more alone I am, the more i can feel Him.
the first day i got here i was a mess. i was sleeping in this small bed with weird covers, and not a THING that felt like home to me. i have never felt ALONE. and i can tell you that it is a very distinct, very powerful emotion. but i was laying there and i started praying asking God to do what my mom asked and be with me on this trip. and all of the sudden i was FINE. and He was there, and I could sleep and there was not a bone in my body that felt anything but at peace.
it is amazing how blessed i am to be here.
so alone. but so much at home.
i have so much to be thankful for.
just kidding. b/c really it's the most amazing thing i have ever EVER experienced.
i've been meeting so many people, and places, and challenges within myself. i've never felt so confident, but so UNSURE. like all the people at my university are beautiful and have all this MONEY, and are dressed so appropriately french...and that makes my stomach twist up in hundreds of knots.
and i know it's ridiculous, really, b/c i'm not like some OUTCAST...you know the poor fat girl with holes in her clothes who picks her zits during class. (those kind of girls don't exist in this town.) i'm just the girl in dirty tennis shoes, a fleece jacket and the black scarf she bought to fit in with all the frenchies.
but. i really am confident most of the time. it's just sometimes i slip into this...i don't belong here, things are so different than home thing. but it's less and less everyday. AND. i really have met the most incredible and FUN humans. we have a blast everyday. and all of our days are full of adventure and excitement and NONSTOP LAUGHTER. we're EUPHORIC being american girls in this wonderful, new country. really though, men LOVE american girls...as soon as they hear you speaking english they're practically planning your wedding. (or their plans to get you in the sack...ya know. either one)
but it's exciting and different, and more than i could have ever anticipated. i am lucky to be a 19 year old woman on a voyage all by herself in such a beautiful place.
homesickness is something new to me...and i like the feeling of it. like how sore you feel the day after a long run. it hurts, but there's this weird sort of gratification knowing that you hurt b/c your doing something so good for you.... and the more i miss home, the more i can see God EVERYWHERE. the more alone I am, the more i can feel Him.
the first day i got here i was a mess. i was sleeping in this small bed with weird covers, and not a THING that felt like home to me. i have never felt ALONE. and i can tell you that it is a very distinct, very powerful emotion. but i was laying there and i started praying asking God to do what my mom asked and be with me on this trip. and all of the sudden i was FINE. and He was there, and I could sleep and there was not a bone in my body that felt anything but at peace.
it is amazing how blessed i am to be here.
so alone. but so much at home.
i have so much to be thankful for.