If life's not beautiful without the pain then I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again...
I really dont ever update this thing anymore because no one ever reads it or comments, and we all know how big of an attention whore I am. Someone once told me that I should just break down and get a spotlight so I wouldn't have to work so hard.
Talked to someone today, that made me feel a lot better about things. That was one positive thing that's happened lately... the only positive thing to happpen in recent times really. It was the best day of my miserable life. Funny how little memories can come back and put a smile on your face. The past is never far...
Still seriously considering moving... I think I'm sitting around waiting for something good to happen (yeah, I know, who I am kidding) but I can't wait forever. I fear I've already waited too long already...
Didn't do much for Halloween... been really down lately, it was around this time last year that Lisa lost the baby and all that stuff... so I've been just moping around hating life a lot the last week or so. The days just seem to drag on and become sadder and sadder, and the nights are getting too far lonely for me to stand. Oh well, I'm fighting hard to keep my head above water and not let the depression win. Otherwise, I'll just end up another person that couldn't be bothered to even save his own life. Nothing depresses me more than me.
So hopefully things will get better soon. I'll probably go gaming this weekend if those fuckers rulebook and luciddementia fucking show up. I dont think they realize that I have so little in life I have to rely on booze and gaming to keep me from drowning in a pool of my own misery.
Everything is wrong right now, but I keep hanging on, hoping something will one day will be right.
Talked to someone today, that made me feel a lot better about things. That was one positive thing that's happened lately... the only positive thing to happpen in recent times really. It was the best day of my miserable life. Funny how little memories can come back and put a smile on your face. The past is never far...
Still seriously considering moving... I think I'm sitting around waiting for something good to happen (yeah, I know, who I am kidding) but I can't wait forever. I fear I've already waited too long already...
Didn't do much for Halloween... been really down lately, it was around this time last year that Lisa lost the baby and all that stuff... so I've been just moping around hating life a lot the last week or so. The days just seem to drag on and become sadder and sadder, and the nights are getting too far lonely for me to stand. Oh well, I'm fighting hard to keep my head above water and not let the depression win. Otherwise, I'll just end up another person that couldn't be bothered to even save his own life. Nothing depresses me more than me.
So hopefully things will get better soon. I'll probably go gaming this weekend if those fuckers rulebook and luciddementia fucking show up. I dont think they realize that I have so little in life I have to rely on booze and gaming to keep me from drowning in a pool of my own misery.
Everything is wrong right now, but I keep hanging on, hoping something will one day will be right.