(no subject)
Courage: being scared to death but doing it anyway
So this is my 1st official heartbreak, wow this sucks. I would have seriously spent the rest of my life with her. yes at 16 no one has ever made me feel like she does. I would have fuckin waited for 2 years for her. I would have waited until she came back from the army. I would have taken the chance after 2 years that it might not have worked, But i still would have taken that chance for her. Now im not really sure where i stand. Im not sure if i should stand here and take all the shit and keep getting hurt in a million different ways over the next 2 years. Or walk away right now and be miserable and fuck up the one thing that i really thought was true and real in my life. Walk away from one of the only people ive let into my life and get this close to me in years. I guess i saw it comming, but i guess i was blinded from what was really happening. I should have listened to what everyone was telling me before i got in too deep. But the should of's, and what if's in life will keep you from really living, and moving on to what you want and really need.
Once again it seems like everyone ive gotten close to in my life is leaving. Jessie is up north Jenna and the army. Baker and college and being busy. Kaitlyn just because i dont see her everyday. Everyone at the appartment becuase they all moved out and i never see them anymore.
In the end i guess im most pissed at myself for letting this all happen in the 1st place but it would have happened in one way or another so i guess theres no point in beating myself up over this even though i already know i will.
Me.
So this is my 1st official heartbreak, wow this sucks. I would have seriously spent the rest of my life with her. yes at 16 no one has ever made me feel like she does. I would have fuckin waited for 2 years for her. I would have waited until she came back from the army. I would have taken the chance after 2 years that it might not have worked, But i still would have taken that chance for her. Now im not really sure where i stand. Im not sure if i should stand here and take all the shit and keep getting hurt in a million different ways over the next 2 years. Or walk away right now and be miserable and fuck up the one thing that i really thought was true and real in my life. Walk away from one of the only people ive let into my life and get this close to me in years. I guess i saw it comming, but i guess i was blinded from what was really happening. I should have listened to what everyone was telling me before i got in too deep. But the should of's, and what if's in life will keep you from really living, and moving on to what you want and really need.
Once again it seems like everyone ive gotten close to in my life is leaving. Jessie is up north Jenna and the army. Baker and college and being busy. Kaitlyn just because i dont see her everyday. Everyone at the appartment becuase they all moved out and i never see them anymore.
In the end i guess im most pissed at myself for letting this all happen in the 1st place but it would have happened in one way or another so i guess theres no point in beating myself up over this even though i already know i will.
Me.