Onward to what will most assuredly be a better day. From beautiesnbeasts
I slept very minimally during the night. Needless to say, there was little that could be done about that with all that had transpired around us. The news that Angel was responsible for it all, or should I say, Angelus, as it were, only made an incredibly tumultuous set of circumstances even more difficult. Willow's death was crushing and the fact that I had been unable to conjure a spell to revivicate her, only made it more haunting inside. Cordelia's probable, from the news gathered by Buffy, transformation into a vampire was immutably disturbing, for as a human, she was tactless and quite the virago, as a demon without a soul and with Angelus and potentially, Spike, she could be the greatest of our turmoils in the near future. Probably the most haunting thing, even more so then Willow and Cordelia's deaths, was the fact that Angelus' arrival inevitably brought Jenny to my mind. Nary a day passed when I didn't think about Jenny and miss her and regret that we hadn't patched things up after it had been brought to light that she was with the Romani tribe and was sent here to keep Angel cursed, sooner. Those moments that we had lost would never again come to be, and I had tried so hard to keep Jenny recollections to nice ones, but Angelus or Angel or the mention of his name, yet alone the fact that he was once more here...here dispatching torment and agony upon us, brought the horrible aspects of my former love's death to light and forced me away of pleasantly keeping her with me in spirit.
I looked at Faith and Buffy. As wasn't a surprise to either Buffy or to myself, Faith quickly fell asleep after some talk about our plans and left Buffy and I to discuss things. The problem with our discussion at this point, and it wasn't as though I wished for it to be this way because opening up to Buffy and her to me was an important dynamic in our relationship as watcher and slayer, was that inevitably, it had to be bad, considering everything, and I was so overloaded with negativity, that I was profoundly certain that my influence on Buffy would grossly fall short of what a watcher was supposed to have with his slayer.
I couldn't even muster the strength to drink at this point, because while drinking was good for down moments until the morning hangover came, moments like these far dwarfed down. I couldn't drink in front of Buffy anyway, for that was an example that I didn't wish to set for her, anyway. Our discussion was short-lived and was mainly filled with Buffy regretting everything that occurred in the prior year with Jenny. She blamed herself for Angelus being here, but I was certain that I didn't undertsnad that. She had done her job and had saved the world. All of it was at a cost, for certain, and she had left, but as far as I could surmise, she had done her job. She had defeated a lover and had sent him to a hell dimension of incredible torment. He should not have been here now, and I wanted to convince her of that, but before I could, she drifted within herself, folding her arms around her knees and drawing her knees into her chin. She closed her eyes and amazingly, she fell asleep.
With Faith and Buffy asleep, and with my own incapability of rest, I decided to study the hell dimension that Angel had been sent to. The problem was, that Alcathla's opening had been foretold, but his sealing had not, and as hours passed with the purrs of my two slayers in front of me as I read, I finally reached a point where I could not keep my eyes open any longer. I fell asleep, most uncomfortably in my chair, while Buffy and Faith where close together, fetally sleeping, but more comfortable then I was, for certain, on the couch.
I was awakened with a crink in my neck, by Faith, as Buffy opened her eyes and yawned and looked towards us. Faith was now off, as we discussed last night, to get Xander and bring him to school. Xander's mental state was in question, most assuredly, and it could not be held against him by any means, but from what Buffy had told me, Faith had an exciting sexuality, although she put it in different terms, probably too disgusted to talk that way with me, that Xander would find enticing enough to press on and report to class as he was supposed to. Faith walked out and looked confident and not for the first time in the past days, I was very relieved that she was here.
"It's time for the two of us to get ready for what is most assuredly going to be a pointless day at Sunnydale High School."
She got up and strecthed andas I did the same, I realized that regardless of the circumstances, I fully planned on sleeping in my own bed in the future. I felt every bit of my age and hurt so incredibly, my joints creaking, that I barely recognized that I had just set an example of negativity towards Buffy concerning moving forward from all of this. I looked at her, and nodded, trying to backpeddle.
"I'm sorry, Buffy, I certainly don't mean to intimate that things won't get better. I'm just pointing out that though we surely have to report to school for our duties, me because of my job and you because you have to get back in Commadant Snyder's good graces and pass all of your...make up...make up exams, that we could certainly better use our time at the moment, not to mention that neither of us, nor Xander will be focused on the evryday at this point..."
Buffy looked at me and stretched some more and proceeded to also tell me that today was the homecoming dance, which I had forgotten about completely, and that Cordelia was surely going to be the elected queen at the dance, posthumously. And with that thought, I went upstairs to change, extending to Buffy, who had a bag with her, the grace to use my downstairs bathroom to freshen up.
Cordelia was dead, and a vampire, and we were going to be reminded tonight, that her vitality had been snubbed from us too soon. And I had hoped that I would have awakened today with a more positive outlook on things. Some things just weren't meant to be.
[Buffy]
I looked at Faith and Buffy. As wasn't a surprise to either Buffy or to myself, Faith quickly fell asleep after some talk about our plans and left Buffy and I to discuss things. The problem with our discussion at this point, and it wasn't as though I wished for it to be this way because opening up to Buffy and her to me was an important dynamic in our relationship as watcher and slayer, was that inevitably, it had to be bad, considering everything, and I was so overloaded with negativity, that I was profoundly certain that my influence on Buffy would grossly fall short of what a watcher was supposed to have with his slayer.
I couldn't even muster the strength to drink at this point, because while drinking was good for down moments until the morning hangover came, moments like these far dwarfed down. I couldn't drink in front of Buffy anyway, for that was an example that I didn't wish to set for her, anyway. Our discussion was short-lived and was mainly filled with Buffy regretting everything that occurred in the prior year with Jenny. She blamed herself for Angelus being here, but I was certain that I didn't undertsnad that. She had done her job and had saved the world. All of it was at a cost, for certain, and she had left, but as far as I could surmise, she had done her job. She had defeated a lover and had sent him to a hell dimension of incredible torment. He should not have been here now, and I wanted to convince her of that, but before I could, she drifted within herself, folding her arms around her knees and drawing her knees into her chin. She closed her eyes and amazingly, she fell asleep.
With Faith and Buffy asleep, and with my own incapability of rest, I decided to study the hell dimension that Angel had been sent to. The problem was, that Alcathla's opening had been foretold, but his sealing had not, and as hours passed with the purrs of my two slayers in front of me as I read, I finally reached a point where I could not keep my eyes open any longer. I fell asleep, most uncomfortably in my chair, while Buffy and Faith where close together, fetally sleeping, but more comfortable then I was, for certain, on the couch.
I was awakened with a crink in my neck, by Faith, as Buffy opened her eyes and yawned and looked towards us. Faith was now off, as we discussed last night, to get Xander and bring him to school. Xander's mental state was in question, most assuredly, and it could not be held against him by any means, but from what Buffy had told me, Faith had an exciting sexuality, although she put it in different terms, probably too disgusted to talk that way with me, that Xander would find enticing enough to press on and report to class as he was supposed to. Faith walked out and looked confident and not for the first time in the past days, I was very relieved that she was here.
"It's time for the two of us to get ready for what is most assuredly going to be a pointless day at Sunnydale High School."
She got up and strecthed andas I did the same, I realized that regardless of the circumstances, I fully planned on sleeping in my own bed in the future. I felt every bit of my age and hurt so incredibly, my joints creaking, that I barely recognized that I had just set an example of negativity towards Buffy concerning moving forward from all of this. I looked at her, and nodded, trying to backpeddle.
"I'm sorry, Buffy, I certainly don't mean to intimate that things won't get better. I'm just pointing out that though we surely have to report to school for our duties, me because of my job and you because you have to get back in Commadant Snyder's good graces and pass all of your...make up...make up exams, that we could certainly better use our time at the moment, not to mention that neither of us, nor Xander will be focused on the evryday at this point..."
Buffy looked at me and stretched some more and proceeded to also tell me that today was the homecoming dance, which I had forgotten about completely, and that Cordelia was surely going to be the elected queen at the dance, posthumously. And with that thought, I went upstairs to change, extending to Buffy, who had a bag with her, the grace to use my downstairs bathroom to freshen up.
Cordelia was dead, and a vampire, and we were going to be reminded tonight, that her vitality had been snubbed from us too soon. And I had hoped that I would have awakened today with a more positive outlook on things. Some things just weren't meant to be.
[Buffy]