Monkey-Be-Gone
And now, a rare moment from backguy's past, courtesy of the Monkey-Be-Gone.
One of the most fun projects from high school was the monkey cannon that _shewalks (Krissy) and I created for OAC Physics. Essentially, we had a monkey suspended from the top of a post. The instant that the cannon shot a projectile at the monkey, the monkey was supposed to drop from the tree. This was supposed to model how a monkey drops from the tree when shot at for self-protection.
We accomplished this by installing a magnet on the 'monkey' (we used a clown, mainly because neither of us owned a monkey that was light enough) and an electromagnet at the top of a stand. We then placed the 'cannon' (a leftover piece of plastic piping) on the ground and aimed at the monkey/clown target by using a laser that was attached to the gun. We would pull back a stick-and-elastic band from the end of the 'cannon', which would eject a small projectile from the other end of the 'cannon'.
By releasing the elastic band, the circuit would automatically open, which caused the electromagnet to stop working and the monkey to drop. Because of the wonderful laws of physics (most of which my mind has purged, sadly), the monkey would be hit by the bullet during its downward fall.
Like any good engineering project, we needed to hand in documentation of how the contraption worked. Krissy and I created an awesome eleven-page manual detailing not only how it worked, but how to maximise your fun in using it. The teacher even awarded us a prize (a Barrel of Monkeys) for the best documentation! There were quite a few gems in our manual...
Celebrity Endorsements
Although there are many comparable monkey guns available on the market, the Monkey-Be-Gone by Jungle Products Ltd. is the only one that is endorsed by Dr. Evil’s son, Scott Evil. This is the true mark of high quality craftsmanship and a sign of excellence. (Yes, he is holding a skunk that he killed using the Monkey-Be-Gone!) With a little bit of practice, you can also become a seasoned monkey hunter, just like Scott.
Political Correctness
A client...suggested to the designers of the Monkey-Be-Gone that instead of shooting bullets at the monkey, the monkey should be fed with a banana. (Editor's note: this had been suggested by our teacher.) The engineers at Jungle Products Ltd. disliked this idea because it was too politically correct. The engineers do not feel that the gun should be used for sport or for personal entertainment; it is designed for the protection of hunters who feel menaced by the monkeys surrounding them. Consistent with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, this gun does not infringe on the civil rights and liberties of monkeys in any way.
While working on the Monkey-Be-Gone, engineers _shewalks and backguy were contacted by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) who complained that this product was designed to harm animals. In the interests of appeasing PETA, a toy clown has been shipped as the target instead of a monkey. (Presently, there is no “Coalition for the Ethical Treatment of Clowns”.)
How to Maximize Your Fun
There are many different ways in which you can have fun with the Monkey-Be-Gone. One such way is to hang various targets from the electromagnetic hook. For example, if you are in a bad mood, you could shoot the bullet at a test with a bad mark or a malfunctioning laptop. If you are in a malevolent mood, you could shoot the gun at a Curious George doll.
Another way to have fun with your gun is to purchase another for a relative, friend, or competitor. You set the timer for three minutes and see who can shoot their target the most during that time.
Finally, who says that the Monkey-Be-Gone has to be used in the jungle? Why not take it to the miniature golf course? Disconnect the gun’s wiring from the tree. Then place the gun at the start of the green and aim for the hole. A guaranteed hole in one every time! Now you’ll never have to worry about the water trap again.
Safety Considerations
...
#6: Monkeys are known to bite. You have been warned.
...
Work Log (Krissy)
Worked on the Monkey Manual and finished it. I didn't have any difficulties with it, although I had to stop working on it when I read the celebrity endorsement (by Scott Evil)! I was just joking about that when I suggested it to backguy!
Sadly, this was the last physics project that I worked on. Having not gone into engineering (and I'm very glad that I made that decision), there has been no reason for me to pursue physics any further. I think that there's a lot of cool stuff in physics, but it's not quite my cup of tea.
This project definitely ranked among my most memorable projects in high school. :)
One of the most fun projects from high school was the monkey cannon that _shewalks (Krissy) and I created for OAC Physics. Essentially, we had a monkey suspended from the top of a post. The instant that the cannon shot a projectile at the monkey, the monkey was supposed to drop from the tree. This was supposed to model how a monkey drops from the tree when shot at for self-protection.
We accomplished this by installing a magnet on the 'monkey' (we used a clown, mainly because neither of us owned a monkey that was light enough) and an electromagnet at the top of a stand. We then placed the 'cannon' (a leftover piece of plastic piping) on the ground and aimed at the monkey/clown target by using a laser that was attached to the gun. We would pull back a stick-and-elastic band from the end of the 'cannon', which would eject a small projectile from the other end of the 'cannon'.
By releasing the elastic band, the circuit would automatically open, which caused the electromagnet to stop working and the monkey to drop. Because of the wonderful laws of physics (most of which my mind has purged, sadly), the monkey would be hit by the bullet during its downward fall.
Like any good engineering project, we needed to hand in documentation of how the contraption worked. Krissy and I created an awesome eleven-page manual detailing not only how it worked, but how to maximise your fun in using it. The teacher even awarded us a prize (a Barrel of Monkeys) for the best documentation! There were quite a few gems in our manual...
Celebrity Endorsements
Although there are many comparable monkey guns available on the market, the Monkey-Be-Gone by Jungle Products Ltd. is the only one that is endorsed by Dr. Evil’s son, Scott Evil. This is the true mark of high quality craftsmanship and a sign of excellence. (Yes, he is holding a skunk that he killed using the Monkey-Be-Gone!) With a little bit of practice, you can also become a seasoned monkey hunter, just like Scott.
Political Correctness
A client...suggested to the designers of the Monkey-Be-Gone that instead of shooting bullets at the monkey, the monkey should be fed with a banana. (Editor's note: this had been suggested by our teacher.) The engineers at Jungle Products Ltd. disliked this idea because it was too politically correct. The engineers do not feel that the gun should be used for sport or for personal entertainment; it is designed for the protection of hunters who feel menaced by the monkeys surrounding them. Consistent with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, this gun does not infringe on the civil rights and liberties of monkeys in any way.
While working on the Monkey-Be-Gone, engineers _shewalks and backguy were contacted by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) who complained that this product was designed to harm animals. In the interests of appeasing PETA, a toy clown has been shipped as the target instead of a monkey. (Presently, there is no “Coalition for the Ethical Treatment of Clowns”.)
How to Maximize Your Fun
There are many different ways in which you can have fun with the Monkey-Be-Gone. One such way is to hang various targets from the electromagnetic hook. For example, if you are in a bad mood, you could shoot the bullet at a test with a bad mark or a malfunctioning laptop. If you are in a malevolent mood, you could shoot the gun at a Curious George doll.
Another way to have fun with your gun is to purchase another for a relative, friend, or competitor. You set the timer for three minutes and see who can shoot their target the most during that time.
Finally, who says that the Monkey-Be-Gone has to be used in the jungle? Why not take it to the miniature golf course? Disconnect the gun’s wiring from the tree. Then place the gun at the start of the green and aim for the hole. A guaranteed hole in one every time! Now you’ll never have to worry about the water trap again.
Safety Considerations
...
#6: Monkeys are known to bite. You have been warned.
...
Work Log (Krissy)
Worked on the Monkey Manual and finished it. I didn't have any difficulties with it, although I had to stop working on it when I read the celebrity endorsement (by Scott Evil)! I was just joking about that when I suggested it to backguy!
Sadly, this was the last physics project that I worked on. Having not gone into engineering (and I'm very glad that I made that decision), there has been no reason for me to pursue physics any further. I think that there's a lot of cool stuff in physics, but it's not quite my cup of tea.
This project definitely ranked among my most memorable projects in high school. :)