(no subject)
actual conversation:
*phone rings*
ME: hello?
PERSON: i miss you so much.
ME: uhhm. what?
PERSON: its matt.
ME: ohhhhh, good... uhhh.. yeah, hi.
MATT: i feel sick, holdonaminute (gross noises)
ME: *mumbles* jesus christ matt...
MATTT: mumblemublemuble ILOVEYEW!
ME: okay, matt, i understand your drink-
MATT: whats squishy on my bed?
ME: what?
MATT: a dog is on my bed.
ME: matt, you dont HAVE a dog...
MATT: yes i do! its on my bed!
ME: when did you... what?
MATT: its holding a heart... mr. snowman its to hot for you here in my bed.
ME: *silence* okay, really, what in the hell?
MATT: it has a blue carrot.
ME: a BLUE carrot?
MATT: yeah for its nose
ME: and its in your bed?
MATT: yes, and a bear too.
ME: wow. quite the crowd.
MATT: why do you hate me?
ME: i dont hate... you...?
MATT: *sobbing* your the only one who didnt hang up on me jessica! then only fucking one! doesnt that tell you something? because it tells me something... we are marriage people. lets go into the sun and be wives and husbands.
ME: ohhhhhhhhhhhkay youre a complete idiot.
MATT: what. you are not making sense to me.
ME: im sorry im in a tunnel... *makes shhhhhhhhhhh noise with mouth*
MATT: jessy?
ME: *silence*
MATT: jessy!
ME: *silence again*
BACKGROUND PEOPLE: dude what happened (ext.)
MATT: she went to a tunnel
BACKGROUND PEOPLE: *laughter*
*hangs up*
wow. i love ex boyfriends.
*phone rings*
ME: hello?
PERSON: i miss you so much.
ME: uhhm. what?
PERSON: its matt.
ME: ohhhhh, good... uhhh.. yeah, hi.
MATT: i feel sick, holdonaminute (gross noises)
ME: *mumbles* jesus christ matt...
MATTT: mumblemublemuble ILOVEYEW!
ME: okay, matt, i understand your drink-
MATT: whats squishy on my bed?
ME: what?
MATT: a dog is on my bed.
ME: matt, you dont HAVE a dog...
MATT: yes i do! its on my bed!
ME: when did you... what?
MATT: its holding a heart... mr. snowman its to hot for you here in my bed.
ME: *silence* okay, really, what in the hell?
MATT: it has a blue carrot.
ME: a BLUE carrot?
MATT: yeah for its nose
ME: and its in your bed?
MATT: yes, and a bear too.
ME: wow. quite the crowd.
MATT: why do you hate me?
ME: i dont hate... you...?
MATT: *sobbing* your the only one who didnt hang up on me jessica! then only fucking one! doesnt that tell you something? because it tells me something... we are marriage people. lets go into the sun and be wives and husbands.
ME: ohhhhhhhhhhhkay youre a complete idiot.
MATT: what. you are not making sense to me.
ME: im sorry im in a tunnel... *makes shhhhhhhhhhh noise with mouth*
MATT: jessy?
ME: *silence*
MATT: jessy!
ME: *silence again*
BACKGROUND PEOPLE: dude what happened (ext.)
MATT: she went to a tunnel
BACKGROUND PEOPLE: *laughter*
*hangs up*
wow. i love ex boyfriends.