2010!
despite all the bullshit, 2009 might have been the best and most eye-opening year i've ever lived. i feel like throughout the year i was given all the tools i need to live my ideal life, but i'm still figuring out how to put them all to good use. i want to count off my concerts like everyone else, but for the first time that i can remember the concerts weren't what i was living for so i have no record of them. i started to learn how enjoy my reality in 2009. i lost forty pounds. i gained some amazing friends who i thought i would never see again and now i can't imagine living without. i strengthened some old friendships that needed attention, and i also lost some really shitty friends. all of it was perfect. all of it made me learn.
i don't really make new year's resolutions. i don't think i ever have before. this year is different because i learned how to keep them and make it work. i'm confident. the thing i most want to change about myself is how unorganized i am. my car looks like a bomb hit it and my room is no better, and it's all the time. i keep making excuses ("i moved twice this year!" "i have no time!") but i know they're all bullshit. i want all of my things to have a home. i want dj to feel comfortable in his space. when i'm getting ready to go out i don't want to feel stressed simply because i can't find the outfit i want to wear. i'm also GOING to lose the rest of the weight i want to lose this year. thirty more pounds and i would feel good. i know how to do it and i've done it before so it will be a piece of cake. i lost forty pounds when katie left by doing nothing but being happier and feeling free, and i've kept it off. that's not good enough anymore. i want help and i finally after 23 years feel like i have the right people in my life to support me through this goal.
enough is enough, this living underneath layers of negativity thing. i want to feel the world and LIVE my life instead of watching it pass before me and waiting for everything to naturally fall into place. i want to go after my dreams.
also, how could it not be the best year ever if this is the calendar i'm toting? happy 2010, y'all.
i don't really make new year's resolutions. i don't think i ever have before. this year is different because i learned how to keep them and make it work. i'm confident. the thing i most want to change about myself is how unorganized i am. my car looks like a bomb hit it and my room is no better, and it's all the time. i keep making excuses ("i moved twice this year!" "i have no time!") but i know they're all bullshit. i want all of my things to have a home. i want dj to feel comfortable in his space. when i'm getting ready to go out i don't want to feel stressed simply because i can't find the outfit i want to wear. i'm also GOING to lose the rest of the weight i want to lose this year. thirty more pounds and i would feel good. i know how to do it and i've done it before so it will be a piece of cake. i lost forty pounds when katie left by doing nothing but being happier and feeling free, and i've kept it off. that's not good enough anymore. i want help and i finally after 23 years feel like i have the right people in my life to support me through this goal.
enough is enough, this living underneath layers of negativity thing. i want to feel the world and LIVE my life instead of watching it pass before me and waiting for everything to naturally fall into place. i want to go after my dreams.
also, how could it not be the best year ever if this is the calendar i'm toting? happy 2010, y'all.