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[__angel]

After we dropped Faith off, I wondered if we were going to stay, but they seemed to have it taken care of. I wanted to make sure she was alright and then get blood, I was needing it, the smell of Faith's blood was getting to me and I had to close my eyes, clenching my teeth to try to fight it. It's been so long. When we dropped them off at the

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[buffyshaped]

I followed Angel up to his apartment clutching the container of pigs blood we had picked up from the local butcher. Angel looked so worn and tired I could only think about what I could do to make him feel better.

Once inside I immediately went to his kitchen to pull down a cup and prepared him a cup of blood. I brought it out to him, handing him the mug letting my finger brush up against his as I did this.

"Angel I.." What was I going to say anyhow? That I missed him? I missed him still and we were together, so close it would be nothing to reach over and kiss him. However that was not to be done, that might be asking for trouble. Anyway he was starved and I was certain that a simple kiss would go far in satiating his hunger. “I hope the blood is fine for now. We should probably get back soon, I think everyone is pretty angry with me and the last thing I need them to think is I am risking their lives by spending my time trying to seduce my ex.” Oh god the truth comes out.

“Sorry that was.. not to imply anything I am sure that is the last thing on your mind.” I realize than that actually sex might be something always on his mind.. since it was not something he was exactly allowed to have.

[__angel]

When we got inside, I looked around and it was weird, but everything was just ... familiar. Maybe that was because Buffy was with me and with her anything could be familiar. Walking over to the window when I saw her going into the kitchen ... to make me blood, I frowned, looking over what I could of the city. I was actually surprised that Buffy was doing this for me, then again, I wasn't.

Turned around when she came back, handing me a cup of hot ... blood. Slowly, looking up at her, then down at the blood. My finger tingled a little, just the slightest where she touched me with her own. Didn't say anything about that though. "The blood's ... fine," I mutter, then turn around, taking a sip. Pigs blood is better than no blood, I've come to find that out when I was in the cell for ten years. I was lucky if I got any. She wanted to get back soon. I could understand that, she needed to check on Faith and ... whoever was mad at her.

She's trying to seduce me?

Turning around, I look back at her, then watch as her cheeks blush. Looking down at my cup, I shrug, "It's okay Buffy, just ... it's okay." Sex. Hopefully that would be the last thing on my mind, but now it's the first.

Wonderful.

"So, yeah, you should ... get back, or ... am I going with you?" I asked confused, then finished off the blood, trying my hardest not to vamp out in front of her.

[buffyshaped]

"So, yeah, you should ... get back, or ... am I going with you?"

In my mind there was never a question but than I realized that Angel might need his rest more than anything.

“That is up to you, do you think you can handle me,.. I mean can you handle the physical exertion.” Everything I said sounded so dirty in my head, what was wrong with me? I watched Angel as he held his now empty cup of blood; he had no blood on his lips or his clothes. He was always a clean eater and that was why I could sit here and think about kissing him even knowing what he had just consumed.

[__angel]

I thought that she wanted to be here, but now I'm thinking differently. When she's nervous, she says weird things, that's just who she is and they're getting more and more weirder. She doesn't want to be here and I make her nervous. Fine, I'll give her space, I mean, I've only been giving her space for ten years now. No big deal to keep giving her space.

Except it is a big deal.

"You know what?" I say, looking up at her, then setting the cup on the counter. "I think I'll stay here, get ... get myself so I can handle physical exertion, I'm not good to you right now anyway." Apparently, I never was.

[buffyshaped]

"Angel!" I blurt out and walk over to him, I was not really thinking this through, I just wanted him to stop acting like this. "I did not mean it like that, I just worry about you." Damn it why can't he understand, I lost him for ten years and I finally got him back and I can't beat the thought of losing him again.

I turn him around so he has to look at me, I can tell my words aren’t really reaching him. I reach out to touch his cheek and let my thumb caress his face. I wonder if this is going too far.

"I missed you so much." I say my voice practically hoarse. "I don't see why you don't get that." I pull my hand away because I can't bear the thought of him pulling away. "I just can't stand the thought of losing you again."

[__angel]

Her little outburst at saying my name made me look at her and she walked over to me, telling me she didn't mean it like that and that ... she worries about me. She worries about me? Well, yeah, she would, but really. It's been ten years and I have to say, I'm a little shocked and hurt confused that they didn't know it wasn't me.

That stings a little.

Then again, maybe I'm just now realizing how long it's been and how much she's changed. And I missed it. I now wonder how everyone else is, what they're doing and how Wes ended up the way he is. But when she told me she missed me, it's like all of that pent up guilt, anger and frustration just left my body and my face softened, looking down at her.

"I ... missed you too, Buffy." Pulling on her arm, I pulled her closer as she told me she couldn't stand the thought of me ... leaving, or being lost. Well, I have to say, I agree with her.

"If you need to go, then go, I'll be here. I need to get better, train and then I'll find you, unless ... I just go with you and we can do that there. You can catch me up on what's going on..." My arms wrap around her and I hold her close, then kiss the side of her head. I wasn't sure if I could do that, or if I was out of line, but really, I didn't care. She was here and no one else was and I love her more for that.

[buffyshaped]

I melt into his embrace, savoring the sensation of his lips pressed against my head. I want to lose myself in him, to just hold on so tight that I can no longer tell where I end and he begins. I just don't want to let go.

However I know I will need to, I try and tell myself that no matter how many times I have lost angel I had always managed to find my way back to him. I lost him to Angelus and sent him to hell, he left me to go to LA, and well so many other times Angel had come into and left my life. I told myself that if it happened again.. if I lost him again.. that we would find each other.

“Come with.” I said when I finally untangled myself from Angel. I felt for a moment happy and unable to worry about the problems that I would encounter in the future. “We need to catch up, you need to know what has happened.” I wondered if it is wrong for me to feel like this, to feel so close to happy.

“If we go now we might be able to make it back before Faith decides to hate me forever.”

[__angel]

I nodded at her when she told me to come with her. We had to go now though, because she needed to see Faith and I think the sooner we leave, the sooner we'd be back. Or I'd be back and I can lay down and rest.

"Okay," I nod again, then grab my jacket, putting it on. Kept my eyes on her face as I did so, then followed her out, going back down to her car.

"Why would Faith hate you? I mean ..." Shrugging, I realized that was probably something stupid to ask. Faith and Buffy never really, well, were exactly friends, but they did put up with eachother.

Got into the car and turned a little, leaning against the car door, looking at her and wondering if I still had my car. Probably not.

[buffyshaped]

"Why would Faith hate you? I mean ..."

I sigh when Angel asks that question and bite my tongue when I feel suddenly inclined to give a rather snarky reply.

"She does not trust me. She thinks I will turn on her for some higher purpose." I say this and I know it is true but what was I supposed to do? I was the chosen one; I had spent so much of my life being told over and over again to do what was right. Giles had always been the British, tea drinking, slightly smug angel on my shoulder trying to make me put my self-interest aside and do what was best. I looked at Angel, as he seemed to become lost in his thought.

"You don't need me to tell you that." I said suddenly feeling tired.

[__angel]

"Yeah, you're right." Felt like I asked the wrong question. Yeah, I knew they had a ... rocky past, but I've been gone ten years now and you think times would change. I guess when it comes to them, it would never change.

"Let's just go, okay?" Nodded at her, then leaned back into my seat, not saying anything else. Felt like I was stepping on toes and now I realized how hard it was being away for so long.