The Prey (Chapter 3)
Title: The Prey
Pairing(s): Jaemin, Yunjae, Jaechun and Jaesu (yeah, all)
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Angst, Romance, Smut
Summary: Where is the line between desire and lust?
( chapter 1 )
( chapter 2 )
Junsu was making many mistakes that afternoon. After listening to the conversation between Yoochun and Changmin, his world had completely destabilized, he couldn't focus nor could he concentrate.
After hearing that conversation, however, he understood the problem; the source of all problems, it was Jaejoong! Somehow he was seducing all his dongsaengs. And Junsu himself was no exception.
He knew almost nobody who was immune to the irresistible charm of the oldest member of TVXQ. He had a beautiful voice, beautiful eyes, beautiful skin and a pretty mouth; all in all he was perfect. He had charisma and charm and when they went out partying, he produced the most beautiful and sexy smiles he had ever seen. Jaejoong also smelled amazing. Junsu didn’t know how anyone could resist it. If someone asked Junsu, “What kind of creature is Jaejoong?” His answer would probably be: “Jaejoong is a mythological creature whose element is lust…”
It was a secret, but sometimes went to bed hard with desire. Thinking about what? Thoughts of all the times his eldest hyung was drunk, and acted in a strange way, with his pretty face wearing a perverted smile. He had seen Jaejoong’s hands work their way into Yunho’s pants when they went into a dark hallway, or when they thought nobody was watching. Junsu felt a bit like a pervert, but it was hard to ignore when Jaejoong acted that way. He saw Jaejoong's hand working on other guys. He had thought it was the unique effect of alcohol, but now he knew that Jaejoong acted that way according to the libidinous part of his own character. He was a powerfully seductive man.
Although people thought Yunho was in charge, Junsu thought it was Jaejoong- the god of sex, acting according to whatever his perverted mind suggested. He had seen Jaejoong gently biting the neck of Changmin, they had been so drunk so he had thought it was normal, it was just the alcohol. However after the conversation he overheard at the lodge, he came to the conclusion that the involvement between the eldest member and youngest member might be much more complicated.
He had also noticed the behavior between the famous ‘soulmate couple’ had changed, it was confusing. Sometimes Yunho was jealous, and Junsu didn’t understand why. I mean, Jaejoong and Yoochun were best friends, and sometimes they went out drinking together. And sometimes, after drinking, they’d sleep together on the sofa, or in the same bed, drunk, tired and in the same outfit from the previous day, still wearing their sneakers or boots. Their leader would patiently unbuckle their belts, unbutton their clothes and take off their shoes so they could sleep comfortably whilst always complaining. But this was normal, right? Two friends, just drunk, just goofing around, having some silly fun. Now he wondered how many games and secrets there were between the two drunken friends.
So it was perfectly normal to feel attracted to Jaejoong, right?
Junsu didn’t drink alcohol, which allowed him to watch the circus on (of?) fire, the drinking of Tohoshinki, without his perception being changed by the alcohol. The other members had never thought about it, but he was the only witness to their nights of drinking. He saw everything.
The problem was that he didn’t understand certain mechanisms of relationships. Changmin said he was naive, but now he knew that was not solely his fault. The relationship between members of Tohoshinki was very simple, yet at the same time so complicated.
They lived with a sex god, and apparently, everyone wanted a piece.
Despite this ... he was not included in any game of seduction, not at all. He had not heard the whole conversation, but Changmin's words still reverberated in his head "What about Yunho? He is now the owner of Jaejoong?" That sentence had captured his attention - he had no doubt that what was going on was some exciting game.
He was sad. It was not just about pleasure, which he could get at the thought of Jaejoong sometimes. It was some secret link of trust. Everyone had a piece of Jaejoong then? Once, the oldest member had said "My heart is shared by four people," but the phrase didn’t apply well to the body, right? Yunho, Changmin and Yoochun had privileges then? Why? “What about me?!”
Okay, enough!" said the choreographer. "It’s impossible to work with you guys today. You're all too distracted. You’re disrupting the performance of all the professionals here; yourselves, TVXQ AND the other dancers as well. I know you are all thinking about Jaejoong... but listen..." Junsu let out a slightly sarcastic chuckle. The choreographer could not be more correct. "He's fine, so do not worry so much about it. As you all know, we have a very busy schedule, so I can’t cancel the test now, for anything. But I had an idea... you are worried about Jaejoong because they can’t monitor his recovery right? "
Changmin took a deep breath, ‘please do not bring him here’, he prayed in silence, not able to bear the idea of having their movements studied by Jaejoong. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind remembered the close association that they had at lunchtime, he couldn’t dance and he even couldn’t eat with his mind completely clouded by lust. The physical evidence could be seen by everyone.
Yunho was surprised. He had just whispered softly "Jaejoong" just as the choreographer mentioned him, as if he had been heard. He thought that all members were in fact worried about Jaejoong. Perhaps, the lunch that was strangely silent and awkward was actually a serious problem and required close attention. Judging by the tense expressions and weird looks, Yunho thought that the problem had begun among them.
Although atypical behavior, the only answer he could find was that Jaejoong was angry because he was not working as hard as they were (as Jaejoong was resting for being a little sick lately). It wasn’t fair and didn’t make sense, but Yunho had no theory more convincing. He didn’t know whether to call Jaejoong to rehearsal was a good choice or not, seeing the state of Changmin, but he would be more comfortable if he could track the recovery of his friend. He was very worried.
He was suspicious that his hyung and his dongsaeng had argued, had a fight or something because both Jaejoong and Changmin were acting strange.
Hyung ... It was very strange to refer to Jaejoong in this way. He respected him as a hyung indeed, but their relationship was something ... was something else ... closer, more personal than just friends. But Jaejoong was not a girlfriend ... was he a boyfriend, then?
They maintained a relationship, and everyone knew it, the other members, staff and fans... that relationship was not but just a name... they were dating or something... but what exactly were they? Yunho only knew he had a word to define Jaejoong: mine.
Yoochun knew what was coming, knew it. The choreographer's suggestion would be to have Jaejoong watch them rehearse, so everyone would see how he was well, and focus more on dance, reassured. Well, this was the conclusion of the choreographer; of course, he concluded that Jaejoong watching the choreography would be a kind of observation, a study. But it doesn’t work that way.
Personally, he was used to blocking the force of his desire for Jaejoong - although it was difficult sometimes, because he was always around Yunho, and Yoochun didn’t want confusion between him, Jaejoong and the leader. So it was no problem to stay cold even through the images that Jaejoong (and Changmin) would see the whole time. He sighed, it was making him hard right now.
Perhaps holding in his excitement was not so easy after all. With a bit of jealousy, he had to admit, seeing Changmin cornering Jaejoong that way, his legs around him, making him moan ... it was messing with his head. The problem was... not only were these images in his head ... because he also had the images of when he had ‘played’ with Jaejoong in the bathroom, as he had said 'finished the job for Changmin.’
He began to cough. “License to the bathroom!" And before the choreographer could look in his direction, Yoochun had left the room.
Junsu watched him running out.
For a moment he was a little angry, a little jealous. It wasn’t fair; all of them were in this perverted game apart from him. Even Changmin, who was younger than he, had had experiences that he longed to have. And why was Jaejoong involved with the others, but had never acted with him? Was he not worth it? Was he not beautiful or sexy enough? He wanted to see Jaejoong. That night, he would have an answer.
Jaejoong entered the rehearsal room wearing sunglasses, and Changmin sighed in relief. It would be almost impossible to pretend that he was not there, but to not run into the eyes of the eldest was a challenge at least. If anyone ever told him before, that he would be afraid to face Jaejoong's eyes, he would have laughed. Well... what they were experiencing was exciting, but it was certainly not funny.
The choreographer playfully exclaimed "Wow, with this look, you're hot." Jaejoong smiled and Yunho sheepishly replied, "As if he wasn’t already so hot!"
Everyone laughed and Yoochun couldn’t deny how much of it was true. The temperature was very hot, and Jaejoong ... oh ... Jaejoong was wearing white pants and a sleeveless black shirt. The sunglasses only lent an ‘badass’ type of appearance but Yoochun wondered if he wanted to give a more masculine impression, something to show that although he was more vulnerable earlier, now he was master of himself.
They rehearsed again, now with the presence of Jaejoong, making it difficult for all. Yunho couldn’t concentrate fully since he was concerned about Jaejoong’s health and he couldn’t understand what had gone wrong between him and Changmin. The relationship between his hyung and his youngest dongsaeng had always been explosive, there were times when there were moments of love and hate. Although they pretended the other’s company was only ‘tolerated’, in reality they could not live away from the other. If Jaejoong didn’t find Changmin for a few moments, then he would see Jaejoong looking for their maknae, calling his name or asking people where he was, even when there was no reason for him to worry about it.
Jaejoong felt the need to be close to the maknae- to fight or to play, no matter, they were inseparable. It wasn’t like Yunho was really free to be jealous.
The situation now seemed to be much more serious, though he was no stranger to fights between the ‘soulfighter’ pair, the vibe had never been so tense before, even when Jaejoong had kissed Changmin while he slept ... hey, wait ... Yunho looked at the younger boy's eyes following Jaejoong all the time, and that same strange expression that he had since lunch.
"What if...?" Yunho didn’t want to finish the sentence. In his mind he thought about those early days in their careers, the time he was learning to deal with his stubborn heart, wanting to deny that he was falling in love with another boy and hearing Jaejoong say that love is not about gender. Love is about the heart and stuff. Jaejoong had kissed Changmin, he said he was cute, said he was sweet, and had once whispered in Yunho’s ear, who was fighting with him over that, "you should try the sweet mouth of someone innocent." At the time, Changmin was that kind of sweet and innocent kid, and thinking hard, it was not jealousy (not yet), it was about envy. Yunho wanted Jaejoong, he didn’t want Changmin’s first kiss to be with Jaejoong.
That time, Changmin had been so angry! He reprimanded Jaejoong, speaking with as much masculinity as a boy so young could, but even so, Yunho had read in his eyes that Changmin’s manly act was just leaving Jaejoong more excited.
"Bitch" Yunho thought, that day, "Will you react that way with anyone?" And that night, when everyone was asleep, he crept under the covers of Jaejoong and given him a lesson.
What had made Jaejoong or Changmin told to leave that way?
What was irritating was the fact that Yoochun knew what was happening, but he was the leader and had no idea.
Jaejoong sat with his back to a mirror that occupied an entire wall in the rehearsal room. It was so hot in there, he held a bottle of cold water but he wanted to be drinking beer which unfortunately was something that the manager would never allow.
The choreographer said that being in recovery he could only watch the rehearsal for now. The next day he would be training with members, so it was good to take a chance to rest a little.
"Rest?" Jaejoong thought, forcing a smile. It was as if he was doing it today, when he was first surprised by Changmin with a high electrical discharge of lust, and then his encounter with Micky in the bathroom where he caught him inside his trousers and kissing him like that.
Things were getting out of control.
He took a sip of water, put some water in his hand, forming a shell, and the water went down his neck.
"Fuck" Yoochun whispered, low enough that no one listened. Jaejoong, that mythical creature, was filling his head with images that would haunt him at night. His sweaty face, mouth red and wet, cool water slowly dripping from his neck. How could he not get hard, with that vision in front of him? How could he stay immune? What was happening to him?
For so long, he had borne all the sensuality that Jaejoong breathed every day, his beautiful and charming smiles and every bit of his perfect body. Day by day he contained it, repeating like a mantra "he's my friend, he's just my friend and we are men first of all, right?"
They were friends, they were friends, they were friends. That was it, right? That was what mattered. Before it started, when he was just a normal kid who liked girls and spent time just writing and living a normal student life, that life was so simple and peaceful but meaningless, really. He now knew so many emotions, the stage, fans, music, Yunho, Junsu, Changmin ... and Jaejoong. Filling his life, giving it colorful tones, sometimes joy, sometimes exhaustion, sometimes feeling so confused that he could not describe, but never alone.
Now he could look in the mirror and see a different person, an adult, someone people expected something of, work hard, singing and dancing.
Jaejoong, sweet, sensitive, kind, beautiful, sexy, cruel Jaejoong was there for him, his friend, his soulmate, completing each space there was to occupy.
Suddenly, he was more than a cute face, he became someone he really liked to the point of wanting to care for them, little by little his heart changed, accepting the fact that Jaejoong was simply too important to him.
When somebody quarreled with his hyung, Yoochun was there to protect him as a shield. When his hyung was sad, Yoochun was there to console him, heal his wounds, make him laugh, more and more. And in the darkest days, when they were the most exhausted and frustrated, they were side by side, sitting somewhere away from everyone and everything, but together, as if it were a shadow of the other, nothing needed to be said, they could read each other’s mind as if it were a reflection of his own.
That's what they were.
At the same time ... what the hell? Yunho was for all the most intimate hugs, kisses, smiles, jokes and sweet secrets?
The words of the maknae from their previous discussion never left his head, saying that everyone had the right to fight for those who wanted to... "love" - in this case, Jaejoong.
But ... thinking about it ...he thought about what it would be like in Yunho’s shoes. The leader also had the right to Jaejoong, to love Jaejoong, to be happy with Jaejoong.
He was tired. It was a very long way, and when he started to walk he couldn’t imagine that his steps would follow in the footsteps of Jaejoong, regardless of what would be his choice if he were to stay with him, or Yunho. Because they were best friends, and because there is no way to control the heart.
The question was no longer just 'love', kept inside his chest. The question was also 'wish', to keeping it in inside his pants.
Keep it in his pants. Yoochun laughed internally, Changmin was probably having problems with that too.
Of course Yoochun understood Changmin’s ‘moment of weakness. Yunho had lived through it; even he had gone through this. Thinking of the explosive relationship between Changmin and Jaejoong, it was only a matter of time. Both wished to show who was boss, the struggle for power, who was stronger, who was in control. Changmin was very confident, for a moment he thought he was in control but he would be caught by the beast, because it looks sweet and fragile, Jaejoong was a ravenous wolf wearing sheep’s clothing.
Jaejoong could feel the vibe. Almost too intense to be touched. The choreographer too, knew something was wrong, and even two intervals had not brought the boys back with more focus.
Changmin was increasingly grumpy, Junsu a little quieter than usual, Yoochun was distracted and Yunho was giving his best acting, pretending everything was fine, this was his brand.
Jaejoong knew that sooner or later would he would be trapped by the leader, there was no other outcome. Yunho was not stupid and had caught something of the air, the strange vibe and the odd behavior of Changmin was also a good clue.
Lying was easy, he would say “we fight for something stupid”- they had fought over silly things before.
This was the second interval. Junsu came over slowly, a sweet and shy smile on his face. He was always very kind.
He sat next to Jaejoong, leaned back against the mirrored wall, sighing wearily.
"Hyung today is very hot, is not it?" He said.
"Yes Junsu-ya! You want some fresh water? "
Junsu nodded, signaling 'yes' but when he went to take the bottle, Jaejoong poured the water on his head.
They laughed together and fought each other for the bottle. Yunho approached saying "Jaejoong, you can’t wet the floor of the rehearsal room, someone might slip and fall"
Jaejoong gave him his best smile and said "okay leader-shii, Junsu and I'll clean it up!"
Junsu stood up and helped his hyung to rise as well.
"Take what's left of the water" Jaejoong said, kindly, giving him drink "you should feel honored, it’s an indirect kiss!"
Yoochun had a coughing fit, which attracted the attention of Yunho momentarily.
Junsu and Jaejoong went looking for some cloths and a mop.
"Hyung ..." Junsu muttered, "I need to talk to you about something ... I'm not so sure about, so I need your help "
Jaejoong stopped walking and smiled, his expression uncertain. "Really?"
Junsu gave a smirk. "Yes"
"This is about what?"
Junsu sighed and said quietly, "you can’t tell anyone, okay?"
"Okay! Now spill, I'm dying of curiosity! "
Junsu ran his tongue over his lips, gave an embarrassed smile and whispered something in Jaejoong’s ear.
Pairing(s): Jaemin, Yunjae, Jaechun and Jaesu (yeah, all)
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Angst, Romance, Smut
Summary: Where is the line between desire and lust?
( chapter 1 )
( chapter 2 )
Junsu was making many mistakes that afternoon. After listening to the conversation between Yoochun and Changmin, his world had completely destabilized, he couldn't focus nor could he concentrate.
After hearing that conversation, however, he understood the problem; the source of all problems, it was Jaejoong! Somehow he was seducing all his dongsaengs. And Junsu himself was no exception.
He knew almost nobody who was immune to the irresistible charm of the oldest member of TVXQ. He had a beautiful voice, beautiful eyes, beautiful skin and a pretty mouth; all in all he was perfect. He had charisma and charm and when they went out partying, he produced the most beautiful and sexy smiles he had ever seen. Jaejoong also smelled amazing. Junsu didn’t know how anyone could resist it. If someone asked Junsu, “What kind of creature is Jaejoong?” His answer would probably be: “Jaejoong is a mythological creature whose element is lust…”
It was a secret, but sometimes went to bed hard with desire. Thinking about what? Thoughts of all the times his eldest hyung was drunk, and acted in a strange way, with his pretty face wearing a perverted smile. He had seen Jaejoong’s hands work their way into Yunho’s pants when they went into a dark hallway, or when they thought nobody was watching. Junsu felt a bit like a pervert, but it was hard to ignore when Jaejoong acted that way. He saw Jaejoong's hand working on other guys. He had thought it was the unique effect of alcohol, but now he knew that Jaejoong acted that way according to the libidinous part of his own character. He was a powerfully seductive man.
Although people thought Yunho was in charge, Junsu thought it was Jaejoong- the god of sex, acting according to whatever his perverted mind suggested. He had seen Jaejoong gently biting the neck of Changmin, they had been so drunk so he had thought it was normal, it was just the alcohol. However after the conversation he overheard at the lodge, he came to the conclusion that the involvement between the eldest member and youngest member might be much more complicated.
He had also noticed the behavior between the famous ‘soulmate couple’ had changed, it was confusing. Sometimes Yunho was jealous, and Junsu didn’t understand why. I mean, Jaejoong and Yoochun were best friends, and sometimes they went out drinking together. And sometimes, after drinking, they’d sleep together on the sofa, or in the same bed, drunk, tired and in the same outfit from the previous day, still wearing their sneakers or boots. Their leader would patiently unbuckle their belts, unbutton their clothes and take off their shoes so they could sleep comfortably whilst always complaining. But this was normal, right? Two friends, just drunk, just goofing around, having some silly fun. Now he wondered how many games and secrets there were between the two drunken friends.
So it was perfectly normal to feel attracted to Jaejoong, right?
Junsu didn’t drink alcohol, which allowed him to watch the circus on (of?) fire, the drinking of Tohoshinki, without his perception being changed by the alcohol. The other members had never thought about it, but he was the only witness to their nights of drinking. He saw everything.
The problem was that he didn’t understand certain mechanisms of relationships. Changmin said he was naive, but now he knew that was not solely his fault. The relationship between members of Tohoshinki was very simple, yet at the same time so complicated.
They lived with a sex god, and apparently, everyone wanted a piece.
Despite this ... he was not included in any game of seduction, not at all. He had not heard the whole conversation, but Changmin's words still reverberated in his head "What about Yunho? He is now the owner of Jaejoong?" That sentence had captured his attention - he had no doubt that what was going on was some exciting game.
He was sad. It was not just about pleasure, which he could get at the thought of Jaejoong sometimes. It was some secret link of trust. Everyone had a piece of Jaejoong then? Once, the oldest member had said "My heart is shared by four people," but the phrase didn’t apply well to the body, right? Yunho, Changmin and Yoochun had privileges then? Why? “What about me?!”
Okay, enough!" said the choreographer. "It’s impossible to work with you guys today. You're all too distracted. You’re disrupting the performance of all the professionals here; yourselves, TVXQ AND the other dancers as well. I know you are all thinking about Jaejoong... but listen..." Junsu let out a slightly sarcastic chuckle. The choreographer could not be more correct. "He's fine, so do not worry so much about it. As you all know, we have a very busy schedule, so I can’t cancel the test now, for anything. But I had an idea... you are worried about Jaejoong because they can’t monitor his recovery right? "
Changmin took a deep breath, ‘please do not bring him here’, he prayed in silence, not able to bear the idea of having their movements studied by Jaejoong. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind remembered the close association that they had at lunchtime, he couldn’t dance and he even couldn’t eat with his mind completely clouded by lust. The physical evidence could be seen by everyone.
Yunho was surprised. He had just whispered softly "Jaejoong" just as the choreographer mentioned him, as if he had been heard. He thought that all members were in fact worried about Jaejoong. Perhaps, the lunch that was strangely silent and awkward was actually a serious problem and required close attention. Judging by the tense expressions and weird looks, Yunho thought that the problem had begun among them.
Although atypical behavior, the only answer he could find was that Jaejoong was angry because he was not working as hard as they were (as Jaejoong was resting for being a little sick lately). It wasn’t fair and didn’t make sense, but Yunho had no theory more convincing. He didn’t know whether to call Jaejoong to rehearsal was a good choice or not, seeing the state of Changmin, but he would be more comfortable if he could track the recovery of his friend. He was very worried.
He was suspicious that his hyung and his dongsaeng had argued, had a fight or something because both Jaejoong and Changmin were acting strange.
Hyung ... It was very strange to refer to Jaejoong in this way. He respected him as a hyung indeed, but their relationship was something ... was something else ... closer, more personal than just friends. But Jaejoong was not a girlfriend ... was he a boyfriend, then?
They maintained a relationship, and everyone knew it, the other members, staff and fans... that relationship was not but just a name... they were dating or something... but what exactly were they? Yunho only knew he had a word to define Jaejoong: mine.
Yoochun knew what was coming, knew it. The choreographer's suggestion would be to have Jaejoong watch them rehearse, so everyone would see how he was well, and focus more on dance, reassured. Well, this was the conclusion of the choreographer; of course, he concluded that Jaejoong watching the choreography would be a kind of observation, a study. But it doesn’t work that way.
Personally, he was used to blocking the force of his desire for Jaejoong - although it was difficult sometimes, because he was always around Yunho, and Yoochun didn’t want confusion between him, Jaejoong and the leader. So it was no problem to stay cold even through the images that Jaejoong (and Changmin) would see the whole time. He sighed, it was making him hard right now.
Perhaps holding in his excitement was not so easy after all. With a bit of jealousy, he had to admit, seeing Changmin cornering Jaejoong that way, his legs around him, making him moan ... it was messing with his head. The problem was... not only were these images in his head ... because he also had the images of when he had ‘played’ with Jaejoong in the bathroom, as he had said 'finished the job for Changmin.’
He began to cough. “License to the bathroom!" And before the choreographer could look in his direction, Yoochun had left the room.
Junsu watched him running out.
For a moment he was a little angry, a little jealous. It wasn’t fair; all of them were in this perverted game apart from him. Even Changmin, who was younger than he, had had experiences that he longed to have. And why was Jaejoong involved with the others, but had never acted with him? Was he not worth it? Was he not beautiful or sexy enough? He wanted to see Jaejoong. That night, he would have an answer.
Jaejoong entered the rehearsal room wearing sunglasses, and Changmin sighed in relief. It would be almost impossible to pretend that he was not there, but to not run into the eyes of the eldest was a challenge at least. If anyone ever told him before, that he would be afraid to face Jaejoong's eyes, he would have laughed. Well... what they were experiencing was exciting, but it was certainly not funny.
The choreographer playfully exclaimed "Wow, with this look, you're hot." Jaejoong smiled and Yunho sheepishly replied, "As if he wasn’t already so hot!"
Everyone laughed and Yoochun couldn’t deny how much of it was true. The temperature was very hot, and Jaejoong ... oh ... Jaejoong was wearing white pants and a sleeveless black shirt. The sunglasses only lent an ‘badass’ type of appearance but Yoochun wondered if he wanted to give a more masculine impression, something to show that although he was more vulnerable earlier, now he was master of himself.
They rehearsed again, now with the presence of Jaejoong, making it difficult for all. Yunho couldn’t concentrate fully since he was concerned about Jaejoong’s health and he couldn’t understand what had gone wrong between him and Changmin. The relationship between his hyung and his youngest dongsaeng had always been explosive, there were times when there were moments of love and hate. Although they pretended the other’s company was only ‘tolerated’, in reality they could not live away from the other. If Jaejoong didn’t find Changmin for a few moments, then he would see Jaejoong looking for their maknae, calling his name or asking people where he was, even when there was no reason for him to worry about it.
Jaejoong felt the need to be close to the maknae- to fight or to play, no matter, they were inseparable. It wasn’t like Yunho was really free to be jealous.
The situation now seemed to be much more serious, though he was no stranger to fights between the ‘soulfighter’ pair, the vibe had never been so tense before, even when Jaejoong had kissed Changmin while he slept ... hey, wait ... Yunho looked at the younger boy's eyes following Jaejoong all the time, and that same strange expression that he had since lunch.
"What if...?" Yunho didn’t want to finish the sentence. In his mind he thought about those early days in their careers, the time he was learning to deal with his stubborn heart, wanting to deny that he was falling in love with another boy and hearing Jaejoong say that love is not about gender. Love is about the heart and stuff. Jaejoong had kissed Changmin, he said he was cute, said he was sweet, and had once whispered in Yunho’s ear, who was fighting with him over that, "you should try the sweet mouth of someone innocent." At the time, Changmin was that kind of sweet and innocent kid, and thinking hard, it was not jealousy (not yet), it was about envy. Yunho wanted Jaejoong, he didn’t want Changmin’s first kiss to be with Jaejoong.
That time, Changmin had been so angry! He reprimanded Jaejoong, speaking with as much masculinity as a boy so young could, but even so, Yunho had read in his eyes that Changmin’s manly act was just leaving Jaejoong more excited.
"Bitch" Yunho thought, that day, "Will you react that way with anyone?" And that night, when everyone was asleep, he crept under the covers of Jaejoong and given him a lesson.
What had made Jaejoong or Changmin told to leave that way?
What was irritating was the fact that Yoochun knew what was happening, but he was the leader and had no idea.
Jaejoong sat with his back to a mirror that occupied an entire wall in the rehearsal room. It was so hot in there, he held a bottle of cold water but he wanted to be drinking beer which unfortunately was something that the manager would never allow.
The choreographer said that being in recovery he could only watch the rehearsal for now. The next day he would be training with members, so it was good to take a chance to rest a little.
"Rest?" Jaejoong thought, forcing a smile. It was as if he was doing it today, when he was first surprised by Changmin with a high electrical discharge of lust, and then his encounter with Micky in the bathroom where he caught him inside his trousers and kissing him like that.
Things were getting out of control.
He took a sip of water, put some water in his hand, forming a shell, and the water went down his neck.
"Fuck" Yoochun whispered, low enough that no one listened. Jaejoong, that mythical creature, was filling his head with images that would haunt him at night. His sweaty face, mouth red and wet, cool water slowly dripping from his neck. How could he not get hard, with that vision in front of him? How could he stay immune? What was happening to him?
For so long, he had borne all the sensuality that Jaejoong breathed every day, his beautiful and charming smiles and every bit of his perfect body. Day by day he contained it, repeating like a mantra "he's my friend, he's just my friend and we are men first of all, right?"
They were friends, they were friends, they were friends. That was it, right? That was what mattered. Before it started, when he was just a normal kid who liked girls and spent time just writing and living a normal student life, that life was so simple and peaceful but meaningless, really. He now knew so many emotions, the stage, fans, music, Yunho, Junsu, Changmin ... and Jaejoong. Filling his life, giving it colorful tones, sometimes joy, sometimes exhaustion, sometimes feeling so confused that he could not describe, but never alone.
Now he could look in the mirror and see a different person, an adult, someone people expected something of, work hard, singing and dancing.
Jaejoong, sweet, sensitive, kind, beautiful, sexy, cruel Jaejoong was there for him, his friend, his soulmate, completing each space there was to occupy.
Suddenly, he was more than a cute face, he became someone he really liked to the point of wanting to care for them, little by little his heart changed, accepting the fact that Jaejoong was simply too important to him.
When somebody quarreled with his hyung, Yoochun was there to protect him as a shield. When his hyung was sad, Yoochun was there to console him, heal his wounds, make him laugh, more and more. And in the darkest days, when they were the most exhausted and frustrated, they were side by side, sitting somewhere away from everyone and everything, but together, as if it were a shadow of the other, nothing needed to be said, they could read each other’s mind as if it were a reflection of his own.
That's what they were.
At the same time ... what the hell? Yunho was for all the most intimate hugs, kisses, smiles, jokes and sweet secrets?
The words of the maknae from their previous discussion never left his head, saying that everyone had the right to fight for those who wanted to... "love" - in this case, Jaejoong.
But ... thinking about it ...he thought about what it would be like in Yunho’s shoes. The leader also had the right to Jaejoong, to love Jaejoong, to be happy with Jaejoong.
He was tired. It was a very long way, and when he started to walk he couldn’t imagine that his steps would follow in the footsteps of Jaejoong, regardless of what would be his choice if he were to stay with him, or Yunho. Because they were best friends, and because there is no way to control the heart.
The question was no longer just 'love', kept inside his chest. The question was also 'wish', to keeping it in inside his pants.
Keep it in his pants. Yoochun laughed internally, Changmin was probably having problems with that too.
Of course Yoochun understood Changmin’s ‘moment of weakness. Yunho had lived through it; even he had gone through this. Thinking of the explosive relationship between Changmin and Jaejoong, it was only a matter of time. Both wished to show who was boss, the struggle for power, who was stronger, who was in control. Changmin was very confident, for a moment he thought he was in control but he would be caught by the beast, because it looks sweet and fragile, Jaejoong was a ravenous wolf wearing sheep’s clothing.
Jaejoong could feel the vibe. Almost too intense to be touched. The choreographer too, knew something was wrong, and even two intervals had not brought the boys back with more focus.
Changmin was increasingly grumpy, Junsu a little quieter than usual, Yoochun was distracted and Yunho was giving his best acting, pretending everything was fine, this was his brand.
Jaejoong knew that sooner or later would he would be trapped by the leader, there was no other outcome. Yunho was not stupid and had caught something of the air, the strange vibe and the odd behavior of Changmin was also a good clue.
Lying was easy, he would say “we fight for something stupid”- they had fought over silly things before.
This was the second interval. Junsu came over slowly, a sweet and shy smile on his face. He was always very kind.
He sat next to Jaejoong, leaned back against the mirrored wall, sighing wearily.
"Hyung today is very hot, is not it?" He said.
"Yes Junsu-ya! You want some fresh water? "
Junsu nodded, signaling 'yes' but when he went to take the bottle, Jaejoong poured the water on his head.
They laughed together and fought each other for the bottle. Yunho approached saying "Jaejoong, you can’t wet the floor of the rehearsal room, someone might slip and fall"
Jaejoong gave him his best smile and said "okay leader-shii, Junsu and I'll clean it up!"
Junsu stood up and helped his hyung to rise as well.
"Take what's left of the water" Jaejoong said, kindly, giving him drink "you should feel honored, it’s an indirect kiss!"
Yoochun had a coughing fit, which attracted the attention of Yunho momentarily.
Junsu and Jaejoong went looking for some cloths and a mop.
"Hyung ..." Junsu muttered, "I need to talk to you about something ... I'm not so sure about, so I need your help "
Jaejoong stopped walking and smiled, his expression uncertain. "Really?"
Junsu gave a smirk. "Yes"
"This is about what?"
Junsu sighed and said quietly, "you can’t tell anyone, okay?"
"Okay! Now spill, I'm dying of curiosity! "
Junsu ran his tongue over his lips, gave an embarrassed smile and whispered something in Jaejoong’s ear.