(no subject)
ugh. i feel really gross. i think im going to get my hair cut because i got bored with it again today, and im not a hair whiz like damara with her scissors. boo.
ive been having a really awful gross disgusting period of time with myself. its kind of disappointing for me, because i was happy and good for a while now, and then to feel yourself leaning back over the edge of being miserable feels like being sucked into a black hole. i think my main problem is that i have very little self confidence. brian, my parents, and i were talking abotu this...in my acting, i still feel like the "underdog" of the class, and never feel like i'm good enough to stand in the same light as other people in the class. he says its not true, and i mean, i know its probably not, but i can't get past that. i think in someways, that's jsut kind of how i am in life in general, where i still feel like the loser kid that everyone picked on. the only difference is i don't care as much anymore, because if i tired to care about something like that, it'd jsut upset me.
but anyways, this weekend was pretty quiet. i went over to christian's last night and we had dinner and watched a movie, as per usual. today i wrote a paper on the protestant reformation, and, beign a nerd, i had some fun with that. i didnt relaly do much else, i was under pain of death to clean my room, so, i didnt. i cleaned my bathroom though and sorted through the lastest shipment of free makeup from my aunt. haha. i love having family in the makeup industry. mom and i had a nice talk, so that was good. im feeling a little better about stuff.
christian's eel died though, hes really sad, and it makes me sad cos i can't do much to help. i really want to go to sleep. chris horrax was telling me how much he hates winter. i wholeheartdly agree, and he said he'd love to be a bear and hibernate all winter. which soudns like a plan to me. anyone else who wants to join is welcome. the end.
ive been having a really awful gross disgusting period of time with myself. its kind of disappointing for me, because i was happy and good for a while now, and then to feel yourself leaning back over the edge of being miserable feels like being sucked into a black hole. i think my main problem is that i have very little self confidence. brian, my parents, and i were talking abotu this...in my acting, i still feel like the "underdog" of the class, and never feel like i'm good enough to stand in the same light as other people in the class. he says its not true, and i mean, i know its probably not, but i can't get past that. i think in someways, that's jsut kind of how i am in life in general, where i still feel like the loser kid that everyone picked on. the only difference is i don't care as much anymore, because if i tired to care about something like that, it'd jsut upset me.
but anyways, this weekend was pretty quiet. i went over to christian's last night and we had dinner and watched a movie, as per usual. today i wrote a paper on the protestant reformation, and, beign a nerd, i had some fun with that. i didnt relaly do much else, i was under pain of death to clean my room, so, i didnt. i cleaned my bathroom though and sorted through the lastest shipment of free makeup from my aunt. haha. i love having family in the makeup industry. mom and i had a nice talk, so that was good. im feeling a little better about stuff.
christian's eel died though, hes really sad, and it makes me sad cos i can't do much to help. i really want to go to sleep. chris horrax was telling me how much he hates winter. i wholeheartdly agree, and he said he'd love to be a bear and hibernate all winter. which soudns like a plan to me. anyone else who wants to join is welcome. the end.