Yuck
Hokay, so, this is the dish. Raise your hand if you have ever had a crush on some one. That's right, hands in the air everywhere, pretty standard. But the other shoe drops right? and it brings its friend 'obsession'. Thats not ok. It is not healthy to be obsessed with some one, especially when she has no idea. OK, So i don't know that she doesn't know, but it seems reasonable, or maybe its obvious as hell? I can't tell. I am not an objective third party. But boy i wish i could be. That would make things so much easier. Cuz I am straight up not comfortable with being obsessed. This is beginning to actually worry me? WHY? What does it mean? Why can't i process it in a logical and productive way, rather then just going around and around on this stupid subject. its really fucking annoying. and at this point i am just vomiting words out of my fingers . just noise. just free range thought. just the ideas coming from my headed only edited by proper spelling, at least as far as my limited vocabulary will allow so what is this obsession? It has to to with being lonely. that is a large part of it. i don't know if it is the largest part, but it should not go with out mention. also she is fucking sweet. beautiful, happy, friendly, funny, out going, fit, better at things then i am, worse at things then i am, independent. none of these words are doing justice to the emotion that i feel inside of me. its really just a quivering bundle of used up nerve endings. kind of like when its time to put up the christmas lights and they are tangled as fuck and you get so tired of un-knotting the frayed mess of blinking flashing lights, that you just hang it from the top of the tree and hope that its not too much of a fire hazard, all of the lights burning the fucker down. Born one down mother fucker. burn it down or ill burn you down.