my life just took a change

[back_2_you]

well this weekend was pretty good...except today i go downstairs and my grandma came over to wash her clothes and i saw her and nearly started bawling...i held it in though...but i just stared and was like she might not be here any longer...and i just freaked and ran upstairs and started bawling...i feel like i owe her so much for all those bad things ive said about her behind her back...and when i found out about her only having 6 to 14 months to live i felt like i shouldnt cry...i tryed not to...and i didnt but i was really hurting...and then i think what the fuck shes the one probably hurting my moms hurting and im sitting here thinking of myself...im such a bitch and i wish i could take everything back...and theres no problems around the house yet...but when the time starts passing by...my life will take a change...and i dont want it to...i wish everything could be all better...it never will be...i have to deal...i just dont know how long i can...its never really occured to me till now...well i just pray it will all be ok in the end...
much love

--vir--