Disgusting
This is SO wrong....I have nothing to say, but i had to post this for you all to see. This was in Brutal Honesty...
I was with this guy, Ray, for about 9 months. He loved me and I loved him, but he was basically a streetie who didn't live on the streets. He used to get arrested for fighting, used to steal things and basically wasn't the type of person you could bring home to meet Mum. An example of how messed up he was: when I first met him,3 years before we started seeing each other, 9/11 happened, and he would cheer when he saw footage of people jumping out the buildings, same with the Boxing Day Tsunami, he laughed at the suffering. He had a metal plate in his head, and had suffered a lot of physical and mental abuse as a child.
Anyway, I couldn't see myself staying with him, we were too different, he did drugs(pot, which was something I wanted to stop doing) and I was worried about telling him I didn't want to be with him anymore, because I didn't know how he'd react (violently or otherwise). I basically just didn't contact him anymore and didn't answer his calls.
About 14 months later I ran into a streetie that we used to hang out with. He told me that Ray had totally lost it when I left. He started drinking to excess, taking lots of speed, and not paying his dealers. Eventually he disappeared, and the word on the street was that he'd been murdered for not paying up, and had his body dumped in bushland.
Basically I feel guilty because my actions caused this to happen, and I will never be able to forgive myself. Also I feel that all my ensuing health problems(vaginal faecal discharge, severely abnormal pap smear,etc) are karma for being heartless and abandoning him.
I was with this guy, Ray, for about 9 months. He loved me and I loved him, but he was basically a streetie who didn't live on the streets. He used to get arrested for fighting, used to steal things and basically wasn't the type of person you could bring home to meet Mum. An example of how messed up he was: when I first met him,3 years before we started seeing each other, 9/11 happened, and he would cheer when he saw footage of people jumping out the buildings, same with the Boxing Day Tsunami, he laughed at the suffering. He had a metal plate in his head, and had suffered a lot of physical and mental abuse as a child.
Anyway, I couldn't see myself staying with him, we were too different, he did drugs(pot, which was something I wanted to stop doing) and I was worried about telling him I didn't want to be with him anymore, because I didn't know how he'd react (violently or otherwise). I basically just didn't contact him anymore and didn't answer his calls.
About 14 months later I ran into a streetie that we used to hang out with. He told me that Ray had totally lost it when I left. He started drinking to excess, taking lots of speed, and not paying his dealers. Eventually he disappeared, and the word on the street was that he'd been murdered for not paying up, and had his body dumped in bushland.
Basically I feel guilty because my actions caused this to happen, and I will never be able to forgive myself. Also I feel that all my ensuing health problems(vaginal faecal discharge, severely abnormal pap smear,etc) are karma for being heartless and abandoning him.