I hate you so much right now...
What happens when the past still haunts our being? This past week I have come to the realization that ML and I could never evolve. I even conjured such the evidence in my sleep one night. I of course told him of my undying love, and he like so many rejecting it. Why do I end each day in shadow? I even sleep now in such place. When will I walk and dwell in the light? I am so tired of repulsive males wasting my time adoring my appearances, and when they make move find something diluted in my nature. Whether, it is my attitude, age, or mere being. I don't understand it. Furthermore, I do not understand how my interest in one male is thus more suitable for one of my other ladies. Alas, it is quite perceivable the interest improves the improvised man's standing. Hah. It is true though that their standard is just uplifted by my interest; in reality, all knows once a dog always a dog. But what of my ladies? My ladies to whom I call friends. I don’t know really. Some of them leave me on a precipice, while others stand with me (even though some of those who stand with me are not alone). I don’t know anymore. I do not desire to return to hell. I fear I will once return again to my tower and be locked away. However, this time I will not be deceived by such chivalrous actions by fools. I much rather stand alone than be plagued by the stupid and the envious.
~Much Malice and Distain~
~Much Malice and Distain~