TO THE FAN GIRLS: EAT ME
I SAY THIS:
TIM BURTON IS OVERRATED.
SEVERELY.
OVERLY SO.
OOOOHHHH JOHNNY DEPP AND BLAK. WE LUV BLAK GIV US MOR BLAK.
Stop loving Tim Burton's Batman films. They sucked. Badly.
And yes, Edward Scissorhands is really cool but, c'mon, it's not friggen fantastic. Originally idea. A man with scissors for hands. I GET IT.
Nightmare Before Christmas? Neat. Original. Dark. BUT ENOUGH WITH YOUR CLOTHES AND BADLY WRITTEN FANFICS. I AM SICK OF SEEING JACK THE SKELETON KING EVERYWHERE. BAD HOT TOPIC. BAD.
Beetlejuice was fun. Why don't you ever talk about Beetlejuice? Is that, what, one of the "unspeakable" movies because it actually has a minimal amount of black clothing in it or because Alec Baldwin is present? TELL ME.
We get it, creepy tweeners. You like Johnny Depp. You like that poor man a lot. To the point of unhealthy obsession. Almost like John Hinkley and whatsherface who he shot for in the Name of Lurve. BUT HE IS IN HIS FORTIES AND NO, HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.
Burton has become a label. Like Halliburton (hey, his name's in there!) Abercrombie and all those fun preppie stores...except that Burton's not for preps.
BUT PLEASE DO NOT DEFEND ALL HIS FILMS JUST BECAUSE THEY REEK BLACK AWESOMENESS AND JOHNNY DEPPNESS AND AHHHHH DANNY ELFMAN SOUNDTRACK.
...actually, I do like Danny Elfman. He's an obnoxious brassman, and it's fun. Yay band.
And yes, I know that Sweeny Todd did not have Elfman music.
THIS IS MY RANT FOR THE DAY BECAUSE I ARGUED WITH A USUALLY INTELLIGENT FRIEND OVER BURTON'S BATMAN MOVIES AND THIS FRIEND TOLD ME THAT A MAN WHO CANNIBALIZES BAD PEOPLE IN HIS BABERSHOP SHOULD BE AWESOME LIKE PSEUDO-HANNIBALNESS AND THAT I SHOULD HAVE UNDYING FAITH IN TIM BURTON'S SUPER COOLNESS.
I'm done writing in caps now.
Fangirls, you may proceed in your attempts to crucify me.
Thank you.
TIM BURTON IS OVERRATED.
SEVERELY.
OVERLY SO.
OOOOHHHH JOHNNY DEPP AND BLAK. WE LUV BLAK GIV US MOR BLAK.
Stop loving Tim Burton's Batman films. They sucked. Badly.
And yes, Edward Scissorhands is really cool but, c'mon, it's not friggen fantastic. Originally idea. A man with scissors for hands. I GET IT.
Nightmare Before Christmas? Neat. Original. Dark. BUT ENOUGH WITH YOUR CLOTHES AND BADLY WRITTEN FANFICS. I AM SICK OF SEEING JACK THE SKELETON KING EVERYWHERE. BAD HOT TOPIC. BAD.
Beetlejuice was fun. Why don't you ever talk about Beetlejuice? Is that, what, one of the "unspeakable" movies because it actually has a minimal amount of black clothing in it or because Alec Baldwin is present? TELL ME.
We get it, creepy tweeners. You like Johnny Depp. You like that poor man a lot. To the point of unhealthy obsession. Almost like John Hinkley and whatsherface who he shot for in the Name of Lurve. BUT HE IS IN HIS FORTIES AND NO, HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.
Burton has become a label. Like Halliburton (hey, his name's in there!) Abercrombie and all those fun preppie stores...except that Burton's not for preps.
BUT PLEASE DO NOT DEFEND ALL HIS FILMS JUST BECAUSE THEY REEK BLACK AWESOMENESS AND JOHNNY DEPPNESS AND AHHHHH DANNY ELFMAN SOUNDTRACK.
...actually, I do like Danny Elfman. He's an obnoxious brassman, and it's fun. Yay band.
And yes, I know that Sweeny Todd did not have Elfman music.
THIS IS MY RANT FOR THE DAY BECAUSE I ARGUED WITH A USUALLY INTELLIGENT FRIEND OVER BURTON'S BATMAN MOVIES AND THIS FRIEND TOLD ME THAT A MAN WHO CANNIBALIZES BAD PEOPLE IN HIS BABERSHOP SHOULD BE AWESOME LIKE PSEUDO-HANNIBALNESS AND THAT I SHOULD HAVE UNDYING FAITH IN TIM BURTON'S SUPER COOLNESS.
I'm done writing in caps now.
Fangirls, you may proceed in your attempts to crucify me.
Thank you.