Writer's Block
So it has been my habit to do a spiritual check-up on my life every once in a while. Usually what will happen is this: I'll be sitting in church, and realize that I'm not happy with some aspect of my life, so I will begin to write it out to see what exactly is wrong. Usually I am able to dig through my emotions fairly well and reach some conclusions... well, that's how it used to be.
Unfortunately, the internal introspection device which came standard from the manufacturer (God) seems to be broken.
I sat in church Sunday and tried to do a self evaluation, and I just couldn't. I felt no desire whatsoever to dig deep into my emotions, to analyze them, to try and psycho-analyze myself and see how I tick, or even to just make a list of what is going right or wrong in my life. I just didn't want to do it. So I didn't.
Now, this particular broken part means several things:
1) You are probably going to hear a lot less sentimental whining from the Seanster.
2) Because what all I frequently do on this blog is *whine*, you are probably going to hear a lot less in general from the Seanster.
3) It means that my previously blue (emotion based) dominant personality has probably lost its lead over my red (conflict/logic based) personality. Red personalities don't give a crap about emotions. They're not logical.
4) I'm going to have to figure out a new way to maintain my spirituality, because I've noticed that as my blue dominance ebbs, so does my overactive conscious which has kept me on the straight and narrow out of pure guilt.
So... I guess the whole point of this post was to ask a question, but it's a question I find hard to articulate. For the vast majority of my life, I have used that blue part of me to tap into spirituality. It's been my weather vane, so to speak, to measure where I was heading in life. And now, it has ceased functioning to a large extent. And so, I need a replacement.
Now what do I do about that?
Unfortunately, the internal introspection device which came standard from the manufacturer (God) seems to be broken.
I sat in church Sunday and tried to do a self evaluation, and I just couldn't. I felt no desire whatsoever to dig deep into my emotions, to analyze them, to try and psycho-analyze myself and see how I tick, or even to just make a list of what is going right or wrong in my life. I just didn't want to do it. So I didn't.
Now, this particular broken part means several things:
1) You are probably going to hear a lot less sentimental whining from the Seanster.
2) Because what all I frequently do on this blog is *whine*, you are probably going to hear a lot less in general from the Seanster.
3) It means that my previously blue (emotion based) dominant personality has probably lost its lead over my red (conflict/logic based) personality. Red personalities don't give a crap about emotions. They're not logical.
4) I'm going to have to figure out a new way to maintain my spirituality, because I've noticed that as my blue dominance ebbs, so does my overactive conscious which has kept me on the straight and narrow out of pure guilt.
So... I guess the whole point of this post was to ask a question, but it's a question I find hard to articulate. For the vast majority of my life, I have used that blue part of me to tap into spirituality. It's been my weather vane, so to speak, to measure where I was heading in life. And now, it has ceased functioning to a large extent. And so, I need a replacement.
Now what do I do about that?