The Villain

[bacaninho]

There are moments in life when you are forced to step back and reexamine your self image. Growing up, I always thought of myself as the good guy; the person who didn't hurt other people; if in a conflict, the victim, not the aggressor; the kind and sensitive person who did his very best not to step on other people's toes; the admirable young man

Comments

[melanonymous]

No, it's not always pleasant. Especially when you've done something you're not proud or happy about. Still, why do you have to be either this or that? Can you not be both, depending on the circumstance? Just because you've hurt someone does not mean you have to or that you're going to keep doing it. There's a choice. There is always a choice. Not stepping on people's toes to the point that you become a doormat is not so wonderful either though. I guess it's just a matter of finding the balance between meeting your own needs and others'. Just because you're giving up a few things does not mean you've settled.

[bacaninho]

Mel, I'm not entirely clear on what you meant by that comment, although I will address some of what I did understand (I think).

I think I wrote that post mostly because I have lost a lot of my caution, and in losing a portion of my cautious nature, I have made some rash decisions which have hurt people. The vestiges of my timid self scream out that I'm acting like a bull in a china shop, while the rest of me argues back that, hey, at least you're doing something; you're not paralyzed.

It was just somewhat of a shock to wake up and realize that I am the one acting impulsively without careful scrutiny of how my actions affect the lives of others, whereas in the past, I hated those people and thought them all insensitive jerks. It was a wake up call, one that called for a change in perspective