(no subject)
okay i am once again feeling depressed as shit. today i look a knife and i was cutting my arm, it wasnt a very sharp knife tho, but my arm is still full of scabbed cuts. i want someone to accept me for me, but at the same time i hate people. i dont know what to do, it pisses me off to think about it. every one that i know is turning on me. everyone is mad at me, or ignoring me or some shit like that. i dont even know how im going to hide my cuts from my family, and i really dont give a shit.its not like its long cuts, its small little 1 inch cuts all over my left arm. im thinking about disappearing for awhile. i would even run away from my house if i had somewhere to go. my life is all alone, who really cares about me anyways? no one acceptes me for who i am.who knows maybe i will even kill myself, its not like anyone really cares. i give up on trying, i give up on trying be be someone caring, if someone really cared about me, then they would of been there to catch me when i feel, i wouldnt be depressed all the time. my life is full of temporary friends, people who only want me for someone to talk to, but not willing to let me talk to them. so if my life is like this, why the hell do i bother. im not gonna let ppl push me down, im not gonna be used as a door step no more, i am gonna be me. if anyone who reads my journal dont want to hear what i have to say, or just dont pay any fucking attention to me and my journal, either take me off of you will be taken off, im not gonna be here to comfort you if you cant try to do the same for me. why would i be there to help you clean of the pieces of yourself when you dont help me stay together. so at this i leave it, if you have a problem with me or anything else, then get the fuck away from my journal!