(no subject)
i now live in the world of the wishing. wishing i was someone else, someone who people could love.i look at myself and i wish i was someone else, someone pretty and smart, someone funny and sweet. but instead i am someone no one notices. i am a shadow in the earth. when will i find someone who will love me, and see me as what i want to be seen. no, no one can ever see me like that, b/c i am not like that. when i look at me i see hate and discust. how can i try so hard on to learn something, but refuse to use it. a room is suppost to be how you feel, you go in my room and you think im happy. the lil kids on my block think i am the coolest. swords and a blow gun, games, big room. they think i have all i could want. but i have nothing to me. my heart is empty and alone. brian says i have a good voice, ryan says im hot. then why dont no one notice me, why am i just a shadow. i have my online friends, but i bet if they were here, the wouldnt be my friend, i would just be another shadow to them. i may be happy material wise, but my heart isnt, it is constantly crying, crying out in pain. it dont want to be alone anymore, it dont want to be hurt or played with, it dont wanna be used. it wants to be, me... it wants to be its own person, it wants to leave my thoughts and my brain behind. b/c im weak. im not worthy of my heart. i am not worthy of it, b/c i cant take care of it and defend it..