lawyer joke courtesy of ladyhawke
i luv lawyer jokes
"$100,000"
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to
his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his
priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, "they say
'you can't take it with you.' But who knows? Suppose
they're mistaken. I'd like to have something with me,
just in case. So I am giving each of you an envelope
containing one hundred thousand dollars and I would be
grateful if at my funeral you would put the envelopes
in my coffin, so that if it turns out that it's useful,
I'll have something." They each agree to carry out his
wish.
Sure enough, after just a few weeks, the old man passes
away. At his funeral, each of the three advisors is
seen slipping something into the coffin.
After the burial, as the three are walking away
together, the doctor turns to the other two and says,
"Friends, I have a confession to make. As you know, at
the hospital we are desperate because of the cut backs
in funding. Our CAT SCAN machine broke down and we
haven't be able to get a new one. So, I took $20,000 of
our friend's money for a new CAT SCAN and put the rest
in the coffin as he asked."
At this the priest says, "I too have a confession to
make. As you know, our church is simply overwhelmed by
the problem of the homeless. The needs keep increasing
and we have nowhere to turn. So I took $50,000 from the
envelope for our homeless fund and put the rest in the
coffin as our friend requested."
Fixing the other two in his gaze, the lawyer says, "I
am astonished and deeply disappointed that you would
treat so casually our solemn undertaking to our friend.
I want you to know that I placed in his coffin my
personal check payable for the full one hundred
thousand dollars."
"$100,000"
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to
his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his
priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, "they say
'you can't take it with you.' But who knows? Suppose
they're mistaken. I'd like to have something with me,
just in case. So I am giving each of you an envelope
containing one hundred thousand dollars and I would be
grateful if at my funeral you would put the envelopes
in my coffin, so that if it turns out that it's useful,
I'll have something." They each agree to carry out his
wish.
Sure enough, after just a few weeks, the old man passes
away. At his funeral, each of the three advisors is
seen slipping something into the coffin.
After the burial, as the three are walking away
together, the doctor turns to the other two and says,
"Friends, I have a confession to make. As you know, at
the hospital we are desperate because of the cut backs
in funding. Our CAT SCAN machine broke down and we
haven't be able to get a new one. So, I took $20,000 of
our friend's money for a new CAT SCAN and put the rest
in the coffin as he asked."
At this the priest says, "I too have a confession to
make. As you know, our church is simply overwhelmed by
the problem of the homeless. The needs keep increasing
and we have nowhere to turn. So I took $50,000 from the
envelope for our homeless fund and put the rest in the
coffin as our friend requested."
Fixing the other two in his gaze, the lawyer says, "I
am astonished and deeply disappointed that you would
treat so casually our solemn undertaking to our friend.
I want you to know that I placed in his coffin my
personal check payable for the full one hundred
thousand dollars."