AP vs. Babywise
I was a bit disturbed by a comment somebody left on one of my rants in my journal regarding AP parenting. However it got me to thinking and looking again into the whole AP thing (I looked into with my first pregnancy and decided against it) And I still am just not impressed with the whole idea of extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping, and holding off on immunizations.
I was especially flabbergasted at something I read concerning letting your child CIO. And againt Mezzo's idea that children manipulate with crying. It basically sates children don't have that comprehension to manipulate so of course you should rush to their side and hold them and love them until it's all better. I agree that a Newborn baby does not yet know how to manipulate but by rushing to their side they learn that they CAN manipulate with crying. My Brother -in-law has said that he has to really try hard to figure out if his daughter is really upset or just faking, (they are AP Parents to a T) and I thought gee I don't have to really figure it out because I know that if my daughters cry it's because they really need something or are truely and terribley upset about something. Because I have raised them thus far that crying just to get their way isn't going to work.
Oh yes they will still whine a bit when they don't get that cookie or get to ride the horse at WAL-MART, that is just natural toddler behavior, but becuase I almost completely ignore the whining and tell them "oh mommy doesn't talk to girls that can't use their big girl words" It actually never turns into a tantrum. My BIL was saying how he has to use puppets and silly voices to calm his two year olds tantrums. In my eyes that is just showing that throwing a tantrum will get you puppet games and silly voices from Daddy. My oldest has only once that I can remember thrown a tantrum and I ignored it and it lasted two minutes maybe and she hasn't done it since because she learned right off the bat it will get her nowhere fast.
And I know that I'm using my BIL a lot for examples but he and his wife are most adament about telling everyone how I am such an aweful and neglectful mother and it seems to me he has a harder time with his daughter's behavior then I do with my girls. But his daughter won't even sleep without being in their bed, actually I don't think she even has her own bed. Her mother has to lay down with her at nap and at night to get her to go to sleep. People who practice AP say it's so easy and it makes them feel lazy because it's so easy but as for me that time could be spent folding a load of laundry or getting the dishes in the dishwasher. It may seem harsh to some but my girls get all day with me, we read books we dance around the living room like monkeys, we make cookies together and when 8 oclock comes I don't want to spend a half hour waiting for them to sleep I want to get the house cleaned! I want some adult time with my hubby.
As I wind down I'm getting to the point of this whole entry but my question to you is: How many of you have come across AP parents that feel there way is the ONLY way and if you don't practice AP or especially if you Practice Babywise then you are a bad parent?
I ask this because most people who are advocates of AP that I have come across have been just that. Maybe that is why I am so against AP. Well I'm not against it against it, however you feel the best way for you to raise your child as long as they are not abused or neglected is fine with me. It just seems AP parents don't have that mind set. At least the ones I have met.