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[juliel]

I haven't really updated much in this journal, but I'm desperate for..something. (advise, pat on the back, just an "it's ok

Comments

[mybabythomas]

I don't think you should *force* her to stay with strangers while she is upset, that will only make her even more clingy. But I do think it would be a good idea to *encourage* her to accept being babysat by someone other than yourself. I leave my baby with a babysitter once a month and he is fine with it. I always leave him at the same place with the same person (my friend's mother, at her house), for the sake of being consistent. At first we used to go round there together, and I would hold the baby while I talked to my friend's mum. Then I started leting my friend's mum hold the baby, while I was still there. I let her hold the baby while I left the room (to go for a pee, make a cup of tea, etc) and came back shortly after. He was fine with all this, so eventually, when he was 5 months old, I accepted her offer to babysit, and left her alone with the baby for a few hours. He was still fine when I got back. Since then I have left him with her once a month so that I can go out with my husband and have some couple time together.

I think it is significant that I *never* leave him while he is asleep. I always insist that he comes to the door and sees me wave goodbye, so that he knows when I am gone, and he knows that I will always come back soon. If he was crying, I wouldn't be able to leave. And I would never leave him with a stranger whether he was crying or not. If you don't trust the person who is looking after your daughter, she will sense that, so pick a babysitter whom you know well and can rely on to take good care of your child. If you are relaxed around the babysitter, your baby is more likely to be relaxed around them too.