waitin for mi madre

[babystuddmuffin]

sooo yea this weekend basically sucked. i was planning on actually being with jose but nope. We won our game friday 16-1 er sumthin like that, but anywho i was guna be w/ jose because we always chill on fridays but no he had work from 8:30-12, but be4 that i was gettin pissed because hes forever telling me he'll call back and i hate when he's like yea i'll call you back, when in reality he won't. so then it made me believe that he wasn't even interested in me anymore and i wasnt guna waist my time on this kid. After i drove home from my game with mariss ree n sam, i called him and asked him what he wuz guna do, but he said he had work and then said "il call u back" soo knowing me, i knew he wasnt guna. I get to marissa's and just lay down, i feel liek shit and just wish he'd be honest with em fo a least a second. THen bianca calls me and im tellin her the drama, and mariss says oo its jose, lol and im like na it aint oh boy is at work.. i guess it was him he didn't go in till l8er and i asked him all this ?'s and he said he likes me still and wuz callin me baby. Then i get all cheesy.. slyvia n alicia come over we just walk round' the hood see binks n mike talk to them fo a bit and just chill. Come home i fall asleep. Saterday double header at curie, was a bad ass game, horrible we played bad wel we werent that bad but we should've been workin harder and my arm should've been faster. COme home talk to jose plannin on seein him but he goes with his friend i go to sleep.. calls me wants ta come over w/ his bois. He does, augh he was lookin fresh =) i was gettin a little uhuh!! haha j/k but then i hada lock up my store, he wanted me to go to hiz-house it was already 10:30 i said no.. he said he'd call me back, he didnt until 1:03 am thats the time he always calls and then... we talked.. got off by 1*45 and iuno.. we made plans fo friday but iuno if thats guna even happen, who knos. im just sick n tired of his drama.. i seen this quote n made me think.

so many times i've thought of jus ending this...jus givin up and walkin away..then you call--i hear your voice, and i forget what i wanted to say. when things are good, i feel so guilty for ever wanting to leave...but soon they go bad and i cry myself to sleep. i dont know how i let myself get so mad, but the one i gave my heart to isn't supposed to make

today ima go do laundry at my store then who knos, i have a youth mass tonight and meeting, maybe he'll call me after. i Hope so, i miss him so much and fallin fo him nasty