countdown to the chemical storm hitting london
Hussar
I have got the go ahead from my manager to get some time off to travel to London for a long weekend, as i am incapable of lieing (LIE) i told my manager a half truth. I told mmy boss that i need five days off to visit friends in London, this is true. What i didnt tell him was.......
"Boss.......i want to travel to london to visit some very dear friends, im going to get wankerd, listen to music that is medically proven to give you cancer and i hope to wake up on a Danish fishing vessle sometime in April, with a testical missing and a cryptic set of scarification marks on my chest that seem to originate from the eastern coast of Africa."
If you havent guessed........i intend to get tanked
if i have made arrangement to meet you after Saturday and i fail to show up, i would suggest contacting the Danish Port Authority,
failing that, shout "BABY STEVE, WERE OVER HERE!" really loud. i will be so Cunted, i will probably hear you.
I may not reply though, i may be busy fighting purple lions in Croatia, that i caught trying to steal my Magic KItKat.
I may be selotaped to the cieling of a subway tunnle in New Jersy, desperatly trying to remember the name of the female gelfling in the film 'the dark crystal'.
I may have just woken up, alone 20,000 feet above the french Alps, sweating slightly, quietly reading aloud the words "welcome to the Lear-jet model ELC/2c2a ......page one, section one, Adjusting your head rest........"
Whats more likely is that i am in fact already in you house, hiding behind the sofa you are sitting on.....trying not to giggle.....looking from the axe in my left hand, to the feather duster in my right, whispering "Eny.... Meany.... Miny.... Mo........."
could eveyone please let me know whether they will be at slimes on the 25th, and if not, when/where they will be able to meet up afterwards until the 28th, i may need crash space if people have it between visiting friends, doubt i will be sleeping much though.
thinlizard will be coming up with me.......still dont know how to make people LJ ID's turn into a link when i post them.....should look that up.......cant be arsed.
REALLY looking forward to seeing you all again, and seeing how fat you all got while i was away
Impposible things to do next weekend
1} attept to out sit the bean bag, named in my honour at Gypsymissions house
2) try and measure PurpleEmma's and Mr Targ's Kitchen using only a fag packet as a tapemeasure and a box of matches for keeping count.
3)Listen to DigitalJunkys set at Slimelight and say....'iv got this Track'
4)go to Ahura_mazda's house............and leave within 72 hours
5)Get so munted that i can have in depth conversation with chinagrrrl about photo synthesis, and local government tactical voting policys observed during 2002
6)meet someone new and convince them im their local parlimentary candidate on a fact finding mission to get industrial music banned..... ask them if they will piss on me.
7)make eithermite cry again by making him listen to noise
8)get doug hammerd and convince him he's and under cover SO-10 police officer that went missing in 1998 after being brainwashed by the Turkish underworld
9)get doug hammerd and convinc him hes french
10)Get thinlizard so hammerd that his mum has to drive to london to pick him up at four in the morning from soho, while hes wearing nothing but a gimp mask and telling her that he cant find the keys to the collar so he'll have to bring 'Gomez' with him.
11)stay awake for 72hours...........commit crime......get off on a diminished responsiblity plea, frame Natbombat for crime........bust natbombat and her new prison bitches out of prison.........sell prison bitches at slave auction in Nigeria........split money with Natbombat......get put in prison for human trafficking.....blame Spanker Phil........repeat steps 4, 5, 6
hope to hear from you all soon,
sorry i couldnt be arssed to spell check this post, but the spell check list was twice as long as the post.............so get fucked.......its three in the morning!
END TRANSMISSION
I have got the go ahead from my manager to get some time off to travel to London for a long weekend, as i am incapable of lieing (LIE) i told my manager a half truth. I told mmy boss that i need five days off to visit friends in London, this is true. What i didnt tell him was.......
"Boss.......i want to travel to london to visit some very dear friends, im going to get wankerd, listen to music that is medically proven to give you cancer and i hope to wake up on a Danish fishing vessle sometime in April, with a testical missing and a cryptic set of scarification marks on my chest that seem to originate from the eastern coast of Africa."
If you havent guessed........i intend to get tanked
if i have made arrangement to meet you after Saturday and i fail to show up, i would suggest contacting the Danish Port Authority,
failing that, shout "BABY STEVE, WERE OVER HERE!" really loud. i will be so Cunted, i will probably hear you.
I may not reply though, i may be busy fighting purple lions in Croatia, that i caught trying to steal my Magic KItKat.
I may be selotaped to the cieling of a subway tunnle in New Jersy, desperatly trying to remember the name of the female gelfling in the film 'the dark crystal'.
I may have just woken up, alone 20,000 feet above the french Alps, sweating slightly, quietly reading aloud the words "welcome to the Lear-jet model ELC/2c2a ......page one, section one, Adjusting your head rest........"
Whats more likely is that i am in fact already in you house, hiding behind the sofa you are sitting on.....trying not to giggle.....looking from the axe in my left hand, to the feather duster in my right, whispering "Eny.... Meany.... Miny.... Mo........."
could eveyone please let me know whether they will be at slimes on the 25th, and if not, when/where they will be able to meet up afterwards until the 28th, i may need crash space if people have it between visiting friends, doubt i will be sleeping much though.
thinlizard will be coming up with me.......still dont know how to make people LJ ID's turn into a link when i post them.....should look that up.......cant be arsed.
REALLY looking forward to seeing you all again, and seeing how fat you all got while i was away
Impposible things to do next weekend
1} attept to out sit the bean bag, named in my honour at Gypsymissions house
2) try and measure PurpleEmma's and Mr Targ's Kitchen using only a fag packet as a tapemeasure and a box of matches for keeping count.
3)Listen to DigitalJunkys set at Slimelight and say....'iv got this Track'
4)go to Ahura_mazda's house............and leave within 72 hours
5)Get so munted that i can have in depth conversation with chinagrrrl about photo synthesis, and local government tactical voting policys observed during 2002
6)meet someone new and convince them im their local parlimentary candidate on a fact finding mission to get industrial music banned..... ask them if they will piss on me.
7)make eithermite cry again by making him listen to noise
8)get doug hammerd and convince him he's and under cover SO-10 police officer that went missing in 1998 after being brainwashed by the Turkish underworld
9)get doug hammerd and convinc him hes french
10)Get thinlizard so hammerd that his mum has to drive to london to pick him up at four in the morning from soho, while hes wearing nothing but a gimp mask and telling her that he cant find the keys to the collar so he'll have to bring 'Gomez' with him.
11)stay awake for 72hours...........commit crime......get off on a diminished responsiblity plea, frame Natbombat for crime........bust natbombat and her new prison bitches out of prison.........sell prison bitches at slave auction in Nigeria........split money with Natbombat......get put in prison for human trafficking.....blame Spanker Phil........repeat steps 4, 5, 6
hope to hear from you all soon,
sorry i couldnt be arssed to spell check this post, but the spell check list was twice as long as the post.............so get fucked.......its three in the morning!
END TRANSMISSION