Suicide
"Can you feel the cold tonight
It sets in but it's alright
Darkness falls, I'm letting go
All alone but I feel fine"
To me, those are powerful lyrics. I cant quite put my finger on why they are, but when I hear that song, the only thing I can think about is it playing over and over again in my mind, like that teenager who commited suicide while listening to "Adams Song" by blink 182. Not saying that's what I'm going to do, just what I think about.
This song makes me do a 'brush up' on my life, all the people I've been so hurtful to, my mom, friends, sister, etc. and then I come to think of my nephews...
Before Romy was born, I tried to commit suicide, I remember writing him a letter on how excited I was that I was finally going to be an aunt. And that I loved him very much... I paused while writing it, and decided that boy needed me in his life. So I waited. I helped raise him, and then another one was coming, Jerimyah. So I decided to wait even longer to help raise him as well.
It's been 3 1/2 years since that attempt. And I just can't see those boys not having me in their life.
So young, so loving, that my waiting, has shivered off into nothing.
The point is, now everytime I feel my life is shit, and that I just cant 'bare' it any longer, those boys are what keeps me breathing everyday.
I suppose that's a lot coming from a few little lyrics... but it's enough to save my family and friends from a lifetime of heartache.
Romy:
http://members.aol.com/trueluvboy/amber/photo_0028.jpg
Jerimyah:
http://members.aol.com/trueluvboy/amber/photo_0186.jpg
BBoisterousAAppealingBBrightYYoungSSloppyNNeatCClumsyRRealisticEElitistAAmbivalentMMisunderstood3
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