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[babyslime]

I had two hospital calls back to back a few weeks ago, and they were dramatically different in how the staff handled the cases, even though the calls were less than 24 hours apart

Comments

[asaintedsinner]

One thing stuck with me throughout reading all of this - you said ONE of Jericho's feet was clubbed due to the nutrient issue - so why didn't they use his other foot? Like come the fuck on. There is ALWAYS a way to do something for a patient (or the family of a patient) to make their lives a little easier in those moments. I hope I'm an Edward when I get my RN. I want to be like him. I want to work in hospice - to be someone that people can depend on and talk to, someone who has an personal of understanding how hard it is to be dealing with what a loved one is going through AND have strangers be with them and have to rely on a stranger.

Sorry, that was more ranty than I intended. It's been a long day and this post brought up a lot of feels.

[babyslime]

His other foot wasn't "properly formed" either, though it wasn't clubbed afiak (I did not actually see... I never unwrapped his body from the swaddle, I'm going off Curtis' descriptions and the autopsy report), just not "correctly shaped". So they didn't bother past a smudge. :-/ Like a baby with visible birth abnormalities clearly isn't worth the effort of caring about.

I think the act of thinking about this kind of thing and wanting yourself to make that impression, is more than enough to be a good person for people who need it. The world needs more people like you, like that, like Edward. <3

[suesniffsglue]

as a random long-term reader-- I loved reading this comment. I'm wrapping up my master's in counseling, and have been having to reflect lately on who might be my trigger clients. The only type of client I feel like I'd have a tough time with is the geriatric population. Reading this gave me such a new perspective and I thank you so much for the kind words. Your whole post was incredible to read, and what an amazing nurse--but yes, this comment seriously resonated with me. Something I needed to hear. Thank you.

[suesniffsglue]

I should specify--the reason I felt I'd have a hard time was the emotional aspect and dealing with impending loss. So thank you again for a great perspective

[dreamsreflected]

The hospital staff need to be better disciplined, and better educated and better informed in compassionate care. When I lost the twins a month apart, I heard everything from "it was for the best" to "it was your own fault" to "well you didn't really want all those babies anyway" and my personal favourite, "the products of conception have been disposed of". There's no excuse for it, tough love has it's place, but not with grieving parents. Years later I live with someone who works in the upper management end of the business end of health care in Manitoba, and his view is similar in that he was appalled to hear that those comments are permissible let alone common place, the rant that ensued when I explained what I was grimacing about while reading this was legendary in my household, simply put those types of comments should be as obsolete as pinching skirts. It's a work force issue for the hospital and a formal complaint should be made to the CEO the regional health authority etc. they need better policies and change happens when people

[babyslime]

Not at all, don't worry! The bad part is... we've already come to them before. Several times. When my friend and I founded the grief group here some of us prepared something to talk to the social workers, and after that some group members approached a second time following some more mistreatment by staff. Each time the workers were very sympathetic and seemed to listen carefully, but nothing has really changed. :(

[itsyspy70]

It's appalling how callous some people can be in human medicine. I've had an easier time with more compassionate staff in veterinary medicine, believe it or not

[babyslime]

I've had the same experiences with animal care... they are always very kind. The last time we had a cat die and brought them in for remains, we also got a pawprint, and it was amazing. I can't recall if I knew it would happen or not, but it was so lovely and meant so much to me.
And it seems ridiculous that hospital staff can't manage the same respect.

[itsyspy70]

It costs me nothing, emotionally or energy-wise to be nice to someone going through something difficult. It's even more mind-boggling how awful some staff can be when you take into account that treating someone nicely often calms them down, which in a high-stakes emotionally charged situation is what you often need.

[babyslime]

Exactly. I mean seriously what does she think is going to happen?
"I really want a footprint... oh wait, my baby has two toes stuck together? Well in that case fuck it."

[babyslime]

I absolutely get what you're saying, and I agree completely. The best social workers I've talked to were the ones who were able to NOT lose their humanity in the job, and make real connections with patients. It's "frowned upon", but they are trusted, go further, and make more progress with their patients. They also enjoy their job more.

[atnightingale]

As a longtime RN and current hospice RN, I think professional detachment is a tool, not a way of life. It is a skill you can draw on to remain human, and compassionate, and functional, when what you really need to do. My patients often affect me profoundly, and I will cry, hug listen as appropriate. I have on a few occasions sung people through pain or to their passing. But professional detachment TO A DEGREE can be essential to. Its how you keep functioning AT ALL when you are 22 weeks pregnant, 27 years old, and a woman walks in who is 22 weeks pregnant and 27 years old and who was just diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. It is how you keep functioning when you have a husband with major depression, and you get to spend 2 straight hours with a couple where the man tried to shoot himself in the head and succeeded, but managed to survive anyway, minus an eye and with mental function permanently altered. It is what you use to assist his wife's coping mechanism of charging forward with chin up, barely holding it together. You detach

[babyslime]

This all makes perfect sense to me, and it's what I imagine being the perfect balance when I think of people who have to get through a difficult job day after day. Staying in touch with your humanity is so important, but so is not losing your shit - so it makes me really happy to read stuff like this and know that there are people who work hard to be that person.