Lonely housewives. Not as fun as advertised.

[babyslime]

I love my father, I really do. He's kind and he's intelligent and he's funny and I love him. But sometimes he's such a fucking idiot that it makes me want to scream. Sometimes I wish he would listen to me on occasion, but I fear my words hold no meaning or depth for him no matter how loudly I would speak them, so I don't bother to try. I'm not sure

Comments

[altarflame]

You know, I've spent a lot of this week thinking about how CRAZY MAKING it really is to be alone with kids - particularly little kids - all the time. I went away with Aaron Friday, Saturday and Sunday for a dance convention. During that time I had long in-person conversations with my mom, people from our dance studio, Bobby, my brother, Aaron's favorite teacher, and a couple of total strangers. I got to write over 2000 words, and even though I had to spend way too much time driving, I never had to deal with tiny people demands or tiny people's rambling and "watch this!" or cook, or clean. Aaron was usually in classes, off somewhere with a group or sleeping.

I felt like a totally different person when I got home. SO CLEAR HEADED, so NOT FUCKING INSANE. Good lord. And, conversely, after just 3 days, Grant was like, "this is horrible, it's no wonder you feel like you're losing your mind." Of course, part of it for me is how terrible it is for PTSD to isolate yourself - this is something I've only recently learned about and started researching.

Now, I'm devoting a lot of energy to strategizing ways to be less isolated. Because...gah!