Title: Run Away Home
Chapter: 10/?
Prompt:
Table 2 Prompt 008 (Kitchen)Rating: T
Word Count: approx 2600
Jeff woke up on Monday morning already dreading the day. He'd spent the rest of the previous evening going over and over his argument with Byron in his head, and he didn't see any way of repairing their friendship.
He’d also been thinking of a particular moment a few years earlier. He and Marcus were having a party to celebrate a promotion Marcus had gotten at work.
Wine, beer, and liquor lined the kitchen counter, the dining room table was stuffed with finger foods and hors d’ourves, and the entire apartment had been scrubbed to within an inch of its life, mostly by Marcus. By nine o’clock, their apartment was packed full. Jeff was standing in a corner, talking to Dawn, who’d come alone after breaking things off with Robert, the nerdy museum curator that no one except Marcus seemed to like.
“I don’t know many of these people,” Dawn mentioned to Jeff.
Jeff began pointing people out, “Over there is Marcus’ boss, Matt and his wife, they’re talking to a couple of his co-workers, I think that’s Fiona and Simon. Then um, over there talking to Marcus is his best friend, Lydia and I don’t know the girl next to her, I guess she’s Lydia’s friend? Then over there by the wine are Chaz, Rick, and Terrence. They’re Marcus’ college friends. Um, right there in the corner are our neighbors, Greg and Lauren, then Carrie and Phil.”
Dawn was giving Jeff a weird look. “What?” he asked
“Are any of your friends here?”
“You’re here,” he said with a smile.
“I know, but what about Shane and Mike? I always liked them.”
Jeff shrugged. “I haven’t seen them in a while. They moved a while ago.”
“OK. What about Smitty? You guys were inseparable since Freshman year in college.”
Jeff shrugged again, “Dawn. People change, OK? I haven’t talked to Smitty in a while, I thought it’d be weird to invite him.”
“Do you notice a pattern here?”
“What?”
“Everyone here is Marcus’ friend.”
“That’s not fair,” Jeff argued. “The neighbors are friends with both of us, and I did invite a couple of work friends who couldn’t come. And you’re here.”
“I still think you should’ve invited Smitty.”
“What’s the big deal?”
Dawn made a face and shrugged. “Nothing, I guess. As long as you’re happy.”
Jeff stared at her for several moments. “Of course I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Just do me a favor, OK? Call Smitty. I’m afraid you’ve let all Marcus’ friends become your friends.”
“They’re both of our friends.”
Dawn shook her head, “You need your own friends. Who do you complain to about Marcus?”
“I don’t complain about him.”
“You should.”
“Why? What’s he ever done to you?”
“Nothing,” Dawn quickly assured him. “It’s just that no one’s perfect and when he drives you bonkers, you need someone to vent to.”
Jeff sniffed, “Maybe that’s your problem. You find people you need to complain about.”
Dawn looked at him for a few moments, considering. “Maybe you’re right,” she said finally. It reminded Jeff of all the times when they were kids, worrying about their parents’ getting divorced, and Dawn would acquiesce whenever Jeff would insist that they probably wouldn’t separate.
Jeff lay in bed, thinking about that moment, and realizing that Dawn had been absolutely right. He had let all of his friends fall away when he moved in with Marcus. Smitty had been Jeff’s freshman year roommate and they’d gotten along perfectly. Smitty had been his closest friend for so long, and Jeff had just let him go.
Then someone else came along. And Byron was every bit as good a friend as Smitty. And even though Jeff wanted to kiss him at weirdly inappropriate times, it didn’t stop him from considering Byron his best friend. But now, rather than letting this friendship fizzle away, he’d found a way to let it explode. It exploded in the space of one evening, with one bad drunken decision.
He waited until his mother had left for work before heading downstairs to eat breakfast. He couldn't help but smile when he saw a stack of pancakes sitting on the table with a note from his mom. Jeff - I made pancakes this morning, but couldn't eat them all myself. Help yourself. Love, Mom.
It wasn't just the pancakes that made him grin, it was that his mother had obviously been doing much better since returning to work. That made Jeff genuinely happy.
Jeff picked three pancakes off the stack, stuck them in the microwave for a few seconds and grabbed the butter and syrup. The coffee in the pot was still hot, so he poured himself a cup and added a spoonful of sugar. He did this all methodically, trying his hardest not to think about his fight with Byron.
But when he sat down to eat, and had no book or no TV to distract him, he found himself thinking. The thing he thought about most was how close he'd become to Byron the last few months. And how he hadn’t had that since Smitty, and how much he’d liked having a friend. And God, if Byron would just talk to him, Jeff swore he’d completely forget about the weird more-than-friends feelings he’d been noticing here and there.
All of a sudden, it seemed completely unfair that Byron was acting the way he did. Jeff thought hard and truly believed that if roles had been reversed, he would have forgiven Byron in a second, or at least after a round of arguments. He would have had his say, heard a genuine and sincere apology and accepted it, like a gentleman.
The pancakes sitting like lead in his stomach now, Jeff got up to shower and to think some more. The more he thought, the more agitated he became. The more agitated he became, the more he began to think that maybe moving to Stoneybrook had been a bad idea. He'd come back for a fresh start, and just as he was starting to think that maybe he was getting a fresh start with a new job, friendships with Byron, and the other Pikes, Mary Anne and even Eduardo, and seeing his mother get back on her feet, he'd gone and fucked everything up.
He pulled out his phone and thought who he should call. Jordan was at work. Mary Anne had to take Joshua to the physical therapist this morning. It was too early to call Dawn on the west coast. Eduardo wasn't exactly a close friend. Jeff sadly realized that the person whom he'd been able to talk things through was Byron and he wouldn't be able to talk to Byron about this.
Jeff didn't have to work that day, but with nothing to do, he needed to keep busy to keep his mind off what he was really thinking. So he started cleaning. He opened up the refrigerator and threw old leftovers, wiped the shelves and gagged to find a container of Richard's yogurt hidden in the back, now expired by nearly half a year.
Then he moved on to the kitchen floor, sweeping and mopping until the tile shone. After he finished in the kitchen, he got out the vacuum cleaner and ran it through the whole house. He changed and washed the sheets on his bed and his mother's bed. He worked almost frantically throughout the day, stopping only for lunch.
He was busy alphabetizing the books on the bookcase when his mother walked in the door. She looked around, "It looks nice in here," she said. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Hi," Jeff said, looking up from his crouched position on the living room floor. "No, I just didn't work today, so I thought I'd help out."
Sharon leaned down and kissed his forehead, "Well, I appreciate it."
Jeff leaned in to her kiss and smiled, but he remained frozen when she pulled away. "Mom," he started. "I think I might need to move back to California."
Sharon, who had been walking back to the kitchen stopped and turned to Jeff, “I knew something was off ever since you came home the other morning hungover. You’re breaking my heart here.” She walked into the kitchen.
Jeff stood up and followed her. “Look, Mom. I just made a mess of things here. I came here because I thought I needed a fresh start. But I fucked up and my only friend out here is mad as hell at me.”
“So....” Sharon trailed off. “Why do you have to go back to California?”
Jeff shrugged. “I’m not as good at the fresh start thing as I thought.”
“What’s waiting for you in California? A good job? Marcus?”
“This isn’t about Marcus.”
“Then what?”
Jeff shrugged. “I messed up. I really did, and I hurt Byron’s feelings.”
“So why do you have to move back to California?”
“Because.” Jeff was unsure how to tell her this. “Stoneybrook is such a small town and everyone knows everyone else. And things like this wouldn’t have happened in California.”
“I’m lost,” Sharon shrugged. “I don’t even know what happened.”
“You’ll be so disappointed in me.”
“So?”
Jeff looked at his mother. He couldn’t believe her. It was almost as if she was daring him to say something -daring him to shock and disappoint her. So he didn’t hold back and said in his most blunt, matter of fact voice, “I got drunk and slept with Jerry Haney.”
Without missing a beat, Sharon replied, “And you wouldn’t have done that in California?”
“No, I do stupid shit all the time, no matter where I live. But it became this thing because we live in such a small town and everyone is up in everyone else’s business.”
“Sounds to me like you’re blaming Stoneybrook for a problem you caused.”
Jeff rolled his eyes. “It’s not like that,” he explained. “It’s just in California if I’d gotten drunk and gone home with someone, the chances of it being my best friend’s ex are way, way lower.”
“So you’re moving back because when you get drunk and sleep with somebody you want to make sure he’s a perfect stranger with no ties to anyone you know.”
“Well, that would be nice, but no. That’s not really why I want to move back.”
“You’ve got to give me a little more help here, Jeff. Because I’m not quite getting it.”
Jeff stood up, frustrated. “Mom, I can’t explain this. Things were just always better for me in California. My childhood was better, college was better, being with Marcus was better.”
“So why’d you move back here in the first place?”
“Because I let things with Marcus go so wrong I’d lost all connection with anyone who wasn’t him. I lost my job and had no idea how to find a new one. I was....” Jeff looked for the right word. “I was lost, but I didn’t know what from or where to go and I just had this need, this urge for a fresh start.”
“So you came here.”
“Yes,” Jeff said, relieved that maybe she’d gotten it.
“Do you think you’ve gotten a fresh start?”
“Yes. And I think I fucked it up, so I might as well go back to where I belong.”
“Jeff,” Sharon said. “I want you to be happy. And if going to California is what will make you happy, that’s where I want you to be. That’s why I never argued with either you or Dawn when you said you wanted to move back, because I probably shouldn’t have moved you out here in the first place. I’ve always felt guilty about that.”
“It’s....it’s OK, Mom.” Jeff assured her.
“And I kind of suddenly realize what’s going on here,” she sat up straighter.
“What?”
“My marriage fell apart in California and I ran back to my parents here in Stoneybrook. Your relationship with Marcus fell apart and you ran back here to me.”
“It’s different,” Jeff stressed. “You ran back home, I ran away from home.”
“But we both ran away from our problems.”
“I guess.”
“I found a life here, Jeff. With Richard and Mary Anne and my job. I’m not forcing Stoneybrook on you. And if you think you’ll be happy in California, that’s where I want you to go. But I want you to go for the right reasons. Don’t leave here because of one fight with one friend. If getting drunk and sleeping with a friend’s ex is something you really never do, and this was a one time thing, Byron will come around.”
“You think?”
“You’ve only been in town for, what? Three months?” Sharon asked.
“Three months plus a couple weeks.”
“You’ve carved something out for yourself here. You reconnected with the triplets, you and Mary Anne are closer than I ever dreamed possible. You have a job that you seem to like even if it doesn’t pay as well as your old job, and I met your boss that one time when I was in the store. That kid may be your boss, but he is nine years younger than you and he idolizes you. All this stuff, are you really going to let Jerry Haney ruin it for you? Does Jerry have that much power?”
Jeff sat still for a few moments, staring at his hands resting on the kitchen table in front of him. “I’m reconsidering now.”
Sharon wiped her hand across her forehead, as though she was relieved. “It only took thirty years, but I finally had a kid take my advice.”
Jeff stood behind her chair and put his hands on her shoulders, “Don’t get too cocky,” he said. “I’m only reconsidering, I haven’t made an actual decision.”
“Oh, well of course. Any decision you make has to be yours, not your mother’s.” She said sarcastically as she stood up and started rooting through the refrigerator for dinner. “Where’d the leftover soy-loaf from last night go?”
“Oh,” Jeff said, shocked to have the conversation come to such an abrupt halt. “I think I threw it away when I was cleaning. I thought it was probably old.”
Sharon’s head remained firmly in the refrigerator, rooting around. “Did you throw Richard’s yogurt?”
“Uh, yes?” Jeff said, he voice going up like it was a question. “Was that OK?”
Sharon pulled her head out of the refrigerator and smiled sadly, “Yes. I’m glad you did. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it.”
“Mom?” Jeff asked. “I’m sorry I never really got to know him very well.” At once, Jeff realized what he was saying was true. Sharon had only been dating Richard for a few months when he left Stoneybrook, and after that he only saw him for a few weeks during the summer and every Christmas. Since he’d been home, he’d gotten to know Mary Anne well, and he was having pangs of having missed an opportunity to do the same with his stepfather.
Sharon smiled sadly, “You would have liked him. He wasn’t Mr. Fun-loving like your dad, but he was so kind. He was pretty quiet at first, but once you got to know him, his sense of humor was a lot like yours Jeff, very dry.”
“Tell me more,” Jeff asked quietly.
Sharon sat across from him at the table and began talking. Jeff got to know, a little late but better than nothing at all, his stepfather.
By the time they had finished talking, it was getting late, and Jeff decided to just make grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. He decided to sleep on it, on everything his mother had said.
Maybe there was a right decision somewhere in his brain.