(no subject)
as days go by, our relationship feels like its getting from bad to worse. i feel more and more unhappy.
where do i exactly stand? i dont know. i dont know how long more can i tolerate this 'i have to suck it up' attitude. its so tiring. i cant even share my feelings. i feel so suffocated. the worse is, when im upset, i still have to cheer you up by giving in already, but yet u still chose to be proud and aloof, like as if nothing else matters in this world other than yourself. so if thats the case, who am i to you?
you are my boyfriend. my dependent. but i often find myself unable to rely on you. u dont pick up my calls, u ignore them. but never did u ever wonder one day, if i were to call you... its really out of emergency? even though i know u wouldnt pick up, i will still choose to call you. but then, i suddenly realise, i shouldnt, because if i were to really require your rescue, there will be no one to entertain me.
i know what i need and what i want. i need a man that can take care of me. i need a man that can protect me. i need a man as my shelter. i need a man that cares. but do you? i feel like i have to take care of you. i feel like i have to protect myself. i feel like i dont have a shelter and i often find myself more than lonely. you know the loneliest feeling is not when you are alone. the loneliest feeling is when you have someone, you are still alone.
im lonely.
where do i exactly stand? i dont know. i dont know how long more can i tolerate this 'i have to suck it up' attitude. its so tiring. i cant even share my feelings. i feel so suffocated. the worse is, when im upset, i still have to cheer you up by giving in already, but yet u still chose to be proud and aloof, like as if nothing else matters in this world other than yourself. so if thats the case, who am i to you?
you are my boyfriend. my dependent. but i often find myself unable to rely on you. u dont pick up my calls, u ignore them. but never did u ever wonder one day, if i were to call you... its really out of emergency? even though i know u wouldnt pick up, i will still choose to call you. but then, i suddenly realise, i shouldnt, because if i were to really require your rescue, there will be no one to entertain me.
i know what i need and what i want. i need a man that can take care of me. i need a man that can protect me. i need a man as my shelter. i need a man that cares. but do you? i feel like i have to take care of you. i feel like i have to protect myself. i feel like i dont have a shelter and i often find myself more than lonely. you know the loneliest feeling is not when you are alone. the loneliest feeling is when you have someone, you are still alone.
im lonely.