why my ex is retarded
LoudandOuttaKey: im sorry that i conforted the fact that it seemed like you didnt care about my mental health in fort of everyone
LoudandOuttaKey: its just the fact that you knew i attempted and your mom and sister knew i was in the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: that made me mad
LoudandOuttaKey: you couldnt even ask how i was doing
LoudandOuttaKey: im over you
LoudandOuttaKey: i cant and wont ever feel the way i did before
LoudandOuttaKey: i realized that at the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: i was looking at it in a friends kind of way
StarScreamOS: thats good
LoudandOuttaKey: but it still doesnt excuse your lack of action
StarScreamOS: It is what I decided was best if I would have responded it would have only encouraged you
LoudandOuttaKey: after the fact
LoudandOuttaKey: i told your sister i went to the hospital for a week
LoudandOuttaKey: and i know she told you
LoudandOuttaKey: and when i said good bye
LoudandOuttaKey: i had already taken everything
StarScreamOS: attention was the last thing you needed
LoudandOuttaKey: what
LoudandOuttaKey: when i came home?
LoudandOuttaKey: after i spent a week in the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: it would have been too much to ask how i was?
StarScreamOS: over all, it only encourages people
LoudandOuttaKey: sure like im gonna try again?
LoudandOuttaKey: what are you nuts?
StarScreamOS: any conversation we had ended with you pissed or crying so I did not want that cycle to continue
LoudandOuttaKey: all i wanted was a HOW ARE YOU
LoudandOuttaKey: im pissed now because you cant seem to understand what the hell is going on
LoudandOuttaKey: im in therapy and on meds
LoudandOuttaKey: i dont lie you
LoudandOuttaKey: i didnt like the way you broke up with me
LoudandOuttaKey: and that sparked abandonment issues
LoudandOuttaKey: all i ever wanted since ive left the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: was you to text are leave a message
LoudandOuttaKey: asking how im doing
StarScreamOS: i figured you did not want to be reminded
LoudandOuttaKey: ive moved on
StarScreamOS: thats good
LoudandOuttaKey: i wanted you to show an ounce of compassion
StarScreamOS: i thought you would not even want to talk to me
LoudandOuttaKey: oh
StarScreamOS: or hear from me considering
LoudandOuttaKey: so that comment i left left no hint?
LoudandOuttaKey: glad to see you are still dense
LoudandOuttaKey: sorry that you cant seem to ask someone how tehy are after a relationship like what we had
LoudandOuttaKey: if it was the other way around
LoudandOuttaKey: i would have called or texted to see how you were doing
LoudandOuttaKey: i love how you defend yourself
StarScreamOS: you should not need my approval
LoudandOuttaKey: i wanted your compassion
LoudandOuttaKey: im not talking about that night
LoudandOuttaKey: i was talking about after
LoudandOuttaKey: are you that dense
LoudandOuttaKey: and were you too busy looking for that blow job
LoudandOuttaKey: to give a shit about someone
LoudandOuttaKey: alll i ever wanted was a question of how are you
LoudandOuttaKey: after i ran into your mom
LoudandOuttaKey: and told your sister what happened
LoudandOuttaKey: in january
LoudandOuttaKey: not december
LoudandOuttaKey: like after i spent a week at a mental hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: do you understand what the words
LoudandOuttaKey: how are you
StarScreamOS: so ok fine, then what exactly are you trying to get out of me now, you have made it clear your pissed at me so why start this conversation
LoudandOuttaKey: so you know why
LoudandOuttaKey: so im not pissed at you
LoudandOuttaKey: and im not
LoudandOuttaKey: ikm frustrated
LoudandOuttaKey: because you dont seem to get it
LoudandOuttaKey: i just want you to ask me how im doing
LoudandOuttaKey: just act like a friend
LoudandOuttaKey: you were the one who said that were are best friends
LoudandOuttaKey: not me
StarScreamOS: i was fine with friends, but all the conversations we ever had turned into horrible dialogs about how screwed up i am, so i got tired of it and cut the ties
LoudandOuttaKey: maybe cause i was fucked up
LoudandOuttaKey: i was serverely depressed
LoudandOuttaKey: i couldnt see how iw as the problem
LoudandOuttaKey: and then i wnet through all sortsof therapy
LoudandOuttaKey: and still am
LoudandOuttaKey: and im understanding my problem
LoudandOuttaKey: and i appologize for how i acted when i was horribley depressed
LoudandOuttaKey: i had already been consemplating suicide for a long while before i did it that night
LoudandOuttaKey: i just wanted to patch things up
LoudandOuttaKey: tahts all this was
StarScreamOS: thats fine but right now i just want to wish you the best of luck and take more time to figure things out. Then we can try being friends again\
LoudandOuttaKey: figure what out
LoudandOuttaKey: i know my poisin
LoudandOuttaKey: abondonment
LoudandOuttaKey: im trying to let you be a support
LoudandOuttaKey: but nope
LoudandOuttaKey: i guess not
LoudandOuttaKey: thanks
LoudandOuttaKey: have fun getting those blow jobs
StarScreamOS: i am still a little shy from what happened before you started getting help
LoudandOuttaKey: what?
LoudandOuttaKey: speak clearly
LoudandOuttaKey: i dont speak "john" anymore
StarScreamOS: sorry but you constatly attacked me
StarScreamOS: brb
StarScreamOS: ok
LoudandOuttaKey: just understand that the fall was badddd
LoudandOuttaKey: im not even going back to montclair
StarScreamOS: oh ok
LoudandOuttaKey: theer were more toxic things there then our relationship
LoudandOuttaKey: well the end of it
LoudandOuttaKey: and thats what still hurts
LoudandOuttaKey: im fine with everything
LoudandOuttaKey: but that
LoudandOuttaKey: because it was too long
StarScreamOS: well just get better and we can try to be friends later
LoudandOuttaKey: this is helping
LoudandOuttaKey: please just listen
LoudandOuttaKey: i did this with my dad the other night
LoudandOuttaKey: just telling my feelings
LoudandOuttaKey: i really feel it would have been better if you broke up with me quicker and more honestly
LoudandOuttaKey: they way ytou did it was part of the last hay that broke the camel's back
LoudandOuttaKey: thats all
LoudandOuttaKey: it would of happened sooner or later
LoudandOuttaKey: my depresion
StarScreamOS: well just get healthy
LoudandOuttaKey: i am
LoudandOuttaKey: and this is helpibng
LoudandOuttaKey: ware you not reading this?
LoudandOuttaKey: i cant keep holding things in
LoudandOuttaKey: tahts why imm letting you know how i feel
StarScreamOS: i am reading but what am i gonna say, i am an evil man who has wronged you horribly
LoudandOuttaKey: im saying that im a depressed girl
LoudandOuttaKey: who was hurt by another human being
LoudandOuttaKey: im saying you arent evil
LoudandOuttaKey: i was sick for fucks sake
StarScreamOS: ok then so what do you want me to do
LoudandOuttaKey: give me feed back
LoudandOuttaKey: say youunderstand
LoudandOuttaKey: this sucks cause im "letting you off the hook"
LoudandOuttaKey: and you dont get it
LoudandOuttaKey: im appologizing for what i said when i was very sick
LoudandOuttaKey: and you cant even acknowlege it
StarScreamOS: i already obsolved you of any guilt i know you had problems and left it at thta
LoudandOuttaKey: then why cant you say it to me
StarScreamOS: what that i accept you apology
LoudandOuttaKey: taht would be a start
LoudandOuttaKey: most peopel would say ys or no
LoudandOuttaKey: and give their reasons why
StarScreamOS: i accept it and i do not need to reason for it just get bettter
LoudandOuttaKey: ok john
LoudandOuttaKey: taht all i wanted
LoudandOuttaKey: i feel better
LoudandOuttaKey: minus the fact i had to spell things out for you
LoudandOuttaKey: you are 22
LoudandOuttaKey: i shouldnt be talking to you like a 5 year old
LoudandOuttaKey: thank you for your motivation for me to get better
StarScreamOS: well good luck maybe we can be real friends in the future
LoudandOuttaKey: thank you
LoudandOuttaKey: bye
StarScreamOS: bye
LoudandOuttaKey: its just the fact that you knew i attempted and your mom and sister knew i was in the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: that made me mad
LoudandOuttaKey: you couldnt even ask how i was doing
LoudandOuttaKey: im over you
LoudandOuttaKey: i cant and wont ever feel the way i did before
LoudandOuttaKey: i realized that at the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: i was looking at it in a friends kind of way
StarScreamOS: thats good
LoudandOuttaKey: but it still doesnt excuse your lack of action
StarScreamOS: It is what I decided was best if I would have responded it would have only encouraged you
LoudandOuttaKey: after the fact
LoudandOuttaKey: i told your sister i went to the hospital for a week
LoudandOuttaKey: and i know she told you
LoudandOuttaKey: and when i said good bye
LoudandOuttaKey: i had already taken everything
StarScreamOS: attention was the last thing you needed
LoudandOuttaKey: what
LoudandOuttaKey: when i came home?
LoudandOuttaKey: after i spent a week in the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: it would have been too much to ask how i was?
StarScreamOS: over all, it only encourages people
LoudandOuttaKey: sure like im gonna try again?
LoudandOuttaKey: what are you nuts?
StarScreamOS: any conversation we had ended with you pissed or crying so I did not want that cycle to continue
LoudandOuttaKey: all i wanted was a HOW ARE YOU
LoudandOuttaKey: im pissed now because you cant seem to understand what the hell is going on
LoudandOuttaKey: im in therapy and on meds
LoudandOuttaKey: i dont lie you
LoudandOuttaKey: i didnt like the way you broke up with me
LoudandOuttaKey: and that sparked abandonment issues
LoudandOuttaKey: all i ever wanted since ive left the hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: was you to text are leave a message
LoudandOuttaKey: asking how im doing
StarScreamOS: i figured you did not want to be reminded
LoudandOuttaKey: ive moved on
StarScreamOS: thats good
LoudandOuttaKey: i wanted you to show an ounce of compassion
StarScreamOS: i thought you would not even want to talk to me
LoudandOuttaKey: oh
StarScreamOS: or hear from me considering
LoudandOuttaKey: so that comment i left left no hint?
LoudandOuttaKey: glad to see you are still dense
LoudandOuttaKey: sorry that you cant seem to ask someone how tehy are after a relationship like what we had
LoudandOuttaKey: if it was the other way around
LoudandOuttaKey: i would have called or texted to see how you were doing
LoudandOuttaKey: i love how you defend yourself
StarScreamOS: you should not need my approval
LoudandOuttaKey: i wanted your compassion
LoudandOuttaKey: im not talking about that night
LoudandOuttaKey: i was talking about after
LoudandOuttaKey: are you that dense
LoudandOuttaKey: and were you too busy looking for that blow job
LoudandOuttaKey: to give a shit about someone
LoudandOuttaKey: alll i ever wanted was a question of how are you
LoudandOuttaKey: after i ran into your mom
LoudandOuttaKey: and told your sister what happened
LoudandOuttaKey: in january
LoudandOuttaKey: not december
LoudandOuttaKey: like after i spent a week at a mental hospital
LoudandOuttaKey: do you understand what the words
LoudandOuttaKey: how are you
StarScreamOS: so ok fine, then what exactly are you trying to get out of me now, you have made it clear your pissed at me so why start this conversation
LoudandOuttaKey: so you know why
LoudandOuttaKey: so im not pissed at you
LoudandOuttaKey: and im not
LoudandOuttaKey: ikm frustrated
LoudandOuttaKey: because you dont seem to get it
LoudandOuttaKey: i just want you to ask me how im doing
LoudandOuttaKey: just act like a friend
LoudandOuttaKey: you were the one who said that were are best friends
LoudandOuttaKey: not me
StarScreamOS: i was fine with friends, but all the conversations we ever had turned into horrible dialogs about how screwed up i am, so i got tired of it and cut the ties
LoudandOuttaKey: maybe cause i was fucked up
LoudandOuttaKey: i was serverely depressed
LoudandOuttaKey: i couldnt see how iw as the problem
LoudandOuttaKey: and then i wnet through all sortsof therapy
LoudandOuttaKey: and still am
LoudandOuttaKey: and im understanding my problem
LoudandOuttaKey: and i appologize for how i acted when i was horribley depressed
LoudandOuttaKey: i had already been consemplating suicide for a long while before i did it that night
LoudandOuttaKey: i just wanted to patch things up
LoudandOuttaKey: tahts all this was
StarScreamOS: thats fine but right now i just want to wish you the best of luck and take more time to figure things out. Then we can try being friends again\
LoudandOuttaKey: figure what out
LoudandOuttaKey: i know my poisin
LoudandOuttaKey: abondonment
LoudandOuttaKey: im trying to let you be a support
LoudandOuttaKey: but nope
LoudandOuttaKey: i guess not
LoudandOuttaKey: thanks
LoudandOuttaKey: have fun getting those blow jobs
StarScreamOS: i am still a little shy from what happened before you started getting help
LoudandOuttaKey: what?
LoudandOuttaKey: speak clearly
LoudandOuttaKey: i dont speak "john" anymore
StarScreamOS: sorry but you constatly attacked me
StarScreamOS: brb
StarScreamOS: ok
LoudandOuttaKey: just understand that the fall was badddd
LoudandOuttaKey: im not even going back to montclair
StarScreamOS: oh ok
LoudandOuttaKey: theer were more toxic things there then our relationship
LoudandOuttaKey: well the end of it
LoudandOuttaKey: and thats what still hurts
LoudandOuttaKey: im fine with everything
LoudandOuttaKey: but that
LoudandOuttaKey: because it was too long
StarScreamOS: well just get better and we can try to be friends later
LoudandOuttaKey: this is helping
LoudandOuttaKey: please just listen
LoudandOuttaKey: i did this with my dad the other night
LoudandOuttaKey: just telling my feelings
LoudandOuttaKey: i really feel it would have been better if you broke up with me quicker and more honestly
LoudandOuttaKey: they way ytou did it was part of the last hay that broke the camel's back
LoudandOuttaKey: thats all
LoudandOuttaKey: it would of happened sooner or later
LoudandOuttaKey: my depresion
StarScreamOS: well just get healthy
LoudandOuttaKey: i am
LoudandOuttaKey: and this is helpibng
LoudandOuttaKey: ware you not reading this?
LoudandOuttaKey: i cant keep holding things in
LoudandOuttaKey: tahts why imm letting you know how i feel
StarScreamOS: i am reading but what am i gonna say, i am an evil man who has wronged you horribly
LoudandOuttaKey: im saying that im a depressed girl
LoudandOuttaKey: who was hurt by another human being
LoudandOuttaKey: im saying you arent evil
LoudandOuttaKey: i was sick for fucks sake
StarScreamOS: ok then so what do you want me to do
LoudandOuttaKey: give me feed back
LoudandOuttaKey: say youunderstand
LoudandOuttaKey: this sucks cause im "letting you off the hook"
LoudandOuttaKey: and you dont get it
LoudandOuttaKey: im appologizing for what i said when i was very sick
LoudandOuttaKey: and you cant even acknowlege it
StarScreamOS: i already obsolved you of any guilt i know you had problems and left it at thta
LoudandOuttaKey: then why cant you say it to me
StarScreamOS: what that i accept you apology
LoudandOuttaKey: taht would be a start
LoudandOuttaKey: most peopel would say ys or no
LoudandOuttaKey: and give their reasons why
StarScreamOS: i accept it and i do not need to reason for it just get bettter
LoudandOuttaKey: ok john
LoudandOuttaKey: taht all i wanted
LoudandOuttaKey: i feel better
LoudandOuttaKey: minus the fact i had to spell things out for you
LoudandOuttaKey: you are 22
LoudandOuttaKey: i shouldnt be talking to you like a 5 year old
LoudandOuttaKey: thank you for your motivation for me to get better
StarScreamOS: well good luck maybe we can be real friends in the future
LoudandOuttaKey: thank you
LoudandOuttaKey: bye
StarScreamOS: bye