lost love & apprehension
i never thought that it would be possible to miss a feeling. but i miss being in love. a lot. i miss the feeling i had with zack, then with mike, and then the spark i had with ravi which turned into nothing. in a way that has ended up with me getting a thicker skin, and i guess i bounce back faster. i think that i have a potentially strong feeling for one of my friends, that i've never in my life looked at that way before. it's weird. i feel myself getting closer to him, and yet i don't stop it, and i don't encourage it. it just happens. not to say that we weren't close before, we were, just we're rebuilding that closeness. i haven't said a word to him. i don't want to mess up our friendship, and take any risks until i'm sure that this feeling is strong enough, and real. i don't want to complicate a friendship because of a passing feeling just because i miss being in love. i want to be sure this time.
on a lighter and brighter note, friday me and james got into an argument before i left to get my haircut, then we ended up going to the movies afterwards. it was nice. he paid for us, we went and walked around the mall for a bit, went in, watched the movie, saw ashley and co for a bit, went to harvey's, then to the marina, which was awesome. it was friday the 13th, dark and stormy and scary. i loved it. then we drove around for awhile and then he drove me home. i dono, we just hadn't had any quality time together in awhile, and it's nice when we finally get around to it.
on an even lighter and brighter note, i love my adamo. =) i loved him from before, going to track and driving around and getting food and whatnot, and just cuz he's my story telling to person and all that other adamo-ness, but i love him more now. he broke & lost the earrings i gave to him for his birthday, so i went and bought him new ones when i was out on friday. then yesterday i was looking for him everywhere at school and he wasnt there. so i didnt even end up going to track, and i was at home loafting, and someone is knocking at the door. i dont expect anyone, but after a minute or so, they're still there so i run upstairs to see if there's a car. there's an accord in my driveway, so i figure it's one of three people : karl, kent or adam. i know that karl & kent would call if they were coming down, so by process of elimination it had to be adam. but i couldnt see any reason why he'd stop by.. in my confused ness, i decided to open the door, and lo and behold guess who it was.. adam! he stopped by to get my dad's card cuz he needed his car fixed and he stayed for a bit and talked. it was so unexpected and nice, and i gave him his earrings. and then today after school him and joshie drove me home and then went to see my dad. daahh. he even looks like my brother. <3.
on a lighter and brighter note, friday me and james got into an argument before i left to get my haircut, then we ended up going to the movies afterwards. it was nice. he paid for us, we went and walked around the mall for a bit, went in, watched the movie, saw ashley and co for a bit, went to harvey's, then to the marina, which was awesome. it was friday the 13th, dark and stormy and scary. i loved it. then we drove around for awhile and then he drove me home. i dono, we just hadn't had any quality time together in awhile, and it's nice when we finally get around to it.
on an even lighter and brighter note, i love my adamo. =) i loved him from before, going to track and driving around and getting food and whatnot, and just cuz he's my story telling to person and all that other adamo-ness, but i love him more now. he broke & lost the earrings i gave to him for his birthday, so i went and bought him new ones when i was out on friday. then yesterday i was looking for him everywhere at school and he wasnt there. so i didnt even end up going to track, and i was at home loafting, and someone is knocking at the door. i dont expect anyone, but after a minute or so, they're still there so i run upstairs to see if there's a car. there's an accord in my driveway, so i figure it's one of three people : karl, kent or adam. i know that karl & kent would call if they were coming down, so by process of elimination it had to be adam. but i couldnt see any reason why he'd stop by.. in my confused ness, i decided to open the door, and lo and behold guess who it was.. adam! he stopped by to get my dad's card cuz he needed his car fixed and he stayed for a bit and talked. it was so unexpected and nice, and i gave him his earrings. and then today after school him and joshie drove me home and then went to see my dad. daahh. he even looks like my brother. <3.