(no subject)
will this sad depressed alone feeling ever go away? will i ever be able to go one day without feeling sick to my stomache? will i ever be able to wake up in the morning and just be happy? as of right now it feels like that true happiness will never come again. i'm constantly on the verge of tears and i'm so fucking scared all the time. the people who were involved with the fight n all are calling my friends harrassing them.. telling them to be careful cuz they're next. i can't take another tragedy i honestly think i would go in my room and never come out. i hate the feeling that i'm waiting for something.. i'm waiting to see him again, in the halls; then i come to my senses and i have to tell myself he's never coming back. this is awful i never want myself or anyone else to ever have to go through this. although, i really appreciate all the sympathy everyone has given me but it just dosn't help, words won't make him come back and i have to get through this on my own. i talked to my grandma about it and she said its ok to cry.. but i can't cry all the time even tho i feel like i'm about to. the funeral and everything is gunna be so hard for everyone i almost don't wanna go.. but i have to, i have to see him one last time while i can. uhh well, today i went to the mall and i got a gold charm so i could always have him with me, its a heart with an R in the middle.
i've always wished life had a rewind button, but although this hurts so bad & i hate it so much; this was gods plan.. i just have live with that for the rest of my life.
i've always wished life had a rewind button, but although this hurts so bad & i hate it so much; this was gods plan.. i just have live with that for the rest of my life.