I knew before I knew.
I chose to do some other things as well and I don't regret any of them because it felt strangely "right." All the endorphins coursing through my body started to make my stomach hurt, and I could feel my pupils turning into huge black saucers every time I looked at him. I kept thinking, "Tomorrow I'm going to wake up to a message saying 'HAHA, GULLIBLE BITCH' because there's no way this is really happening. No way."
I just can't shake the feeling that he's going to leave, in some way. The same feeling I used to have visiting Kevin, back in our glory days, when things were so blissful but there was always that underlying uneasiness of knowing that in a few days I would once again be halfway across the country from him. I keep saying, "But Topher is HERE. He's here and he's not going anywhere. And even if he tours, he's coming back." But the feeling still lingers.
I just can't shake the feeling that he's going to leave, in some way. The same feeling I used to have visiting Kevin, back in our glory days, when things were so blissful but there was always that underlying uneasiness of knowing that in a few days I would once again be halfway across the country from him. I keep saying, "But Topher is HERE. He's here and he's not going anywhere. And even if he tours, he's coming back." But the feeling still lingers.