Uh Ohh!Back to the Old Kayla...
Friday
I Hung out with Britt, Jme and Melissa at the movies, we didn't see one
though we just walked round for 2 hrs and got food :-D! Then we
went back to my house and Brittney was in a bad mood she was sad,I was
too at first but then i blew it off, Jme was kinda lalal in her own
world and Me n Mel were BOUNCING off the walls :-D.
Saturday I hung out with Jme and we played with her ferrets and then we went to the mall and I got a PLAYMATE poster for next door and Jme got me, Mel, and Britt BESTFRIEND rings :-) The Melissa met up with us at the mall and we went to HOOTERS HONK HONK! and we stayed over at Jme's house, I was in a Ok mood and so was Mel and Jme was BOUNCING off the walls LOL.
Today My emotions r just running wild, this morning I was like W/e,.. then I got violent with Mel and was beating her up then I went depressive and just want to cry and be alone and then i went violent again and just before I was taken home I was HAPPY! Now Im Pissed off!!!! I found out Lakeland Motorsports is on MAY 1's Im sappose to take Melissa for her b-day present and she's got to work MAY 1 WTF! G-ma didn't make me too giddy with her last night so Im kinda just minding my own buissness, then shes gott waltz in to my room and make me feel bad for not sayin Hi to megan, Megan didnt say Hi to me neighter... So Yeah, Ok Im sorry. Im just effin annoyed with everything right now,
I feel like Meg n Chris want nothing to do with me anymore since there out in Myakka, unless they need me to babysitt, I mean I dont have a prob. with Babysitting I just feel thats the only reason they want me out there, it's like "U can ride the 4 wheeler, buut you have to babysitt after" U know. It's not like old times. I fuckin asked my mother to take me to the mall yesterday and her answer was "Ummmm No I dont want to." then she wants me to talk to g-ma bout my damn fuckin fress for the wedding I dont even want to go too, FUCK YEW!!
I don't know what the Hell's goin on between me n Kyle anymore, Its kinda just there now.. Not like old times, and Its kinda depressing ok REALLY DEPRESSING and a waste of time! I have all this feeling for him, he don't even understand and If he did he'd think im crazy and leave me, it's like he don't care anymore, about ANYTHING..:-/ and I try to blow off my feelings hopin there'll get better, but again I feel like im wasting my time. at times when im annoyed with Him, I question myself n why I even took him back, that were not getting anywhere, why am I doin this to myself, ALL these things and that hurts. Then when Im Happy Im just like Kyle YAYAYAYAYAY! I love him sooooo freakin Much! and When Im pissed off Im like Errrg Fuck You! I dont even want to speak to him or even be with him, Then when Im sad Im like I know hes gonna cheat on me, Or leave me. and That scares me to death!
I was talkin to Jme n the mall, while we were waitin for Mel, and I told her the strong feelings I have for Kyle. and Shes understood, Kyle gets so down on himself Hes like "Im ugly" and "You'll find better" balh blah ..Ok WTF! doesn't he understand That he maybe "Ugly" to others but hes "Everything" to me and "I dont want to find better, He's My betterness I dont want anyone else"Nevermind It's stupid of me to even say this But "I dont want anyone betetr, I want him as My one and My only and I know that will NEVER happen b/c he Kyle and One of these days or soon he'll get soo effin annoyed with me, he'll just up and leave and forget me" and W/e I ODnt EFFIN know anymore GRR
Saturday I hung out with Jme and we played with her ferrets and then we went to the mall and I got a PLAYMATE poster for next door and Jme got me, Mel, and Britt BESTFRIEND rings :-) The Melissa met up with us at the mall and we went to HOOTERS HONK HONK! and we stayed over at Jme's house, I was in a Ok mood and so was Mel and Jme was BOUNCING off the walls LOL.
Today My emotions r just running wild, this morning I was like W/e,.. then I got violent with Mel and was beating her up then I went depressive and just want to cry and be alone and then i went violent again and just before I was taken home I was HAPPY! Now Im Pissed off!!!! I found out Lakeland Motorsports is on MAY 1's Im sappose to take Melissa for her b-day present and she's got to work MAY 1 WTF! G-ma didn't make me too giddy with her last night so Im kinda just minding my own buissness, then shes gott waltz in to my room and make me feel bad for not sayin Hi to megan, Megan didnt say Hi to me neighter... So Yeah, Ok Im sorry. Im just effin annoyed with everything right now,
I feel like Meg n Chris want nothing to do with me anymore since there out in Myakka, unless they need me to babysitt, I mean I dont have a prob. with Babysitting I just feel thats the only reason they want me out there, it's like "U can ride the 4 wheeler, buut you have to babysitt after" U know. It's not like old times. I fuckin asked my mother to take me to the mall yesterday and her answer was "Ummmm No I dont want to." then she wants me to talk to g-ma bout my damn fuckin fress for the wedding I dont even want to go too, FUCK YEW!!
I don't know what the Hell's goin on between me n Kyle anymore, Its kinda just there now.. Not like old times, and Its kinda depressing ok REALLY DEPRESSING and a waste of time! I have all this feeling for him, he don't even understand and If he did he'd think im crazy and leave me, it's like he don't care anymore, about ANYTHING..:-/ and I try to blow off my feelings hopin there'll get better, but again I feel like im wasting my time. at times when im annoyed with Him, I question myself n why I even took him back, that were not getting anywhere, why am I doin this to myself, ALL these things and that hurts. Then when Im Happy Im just like Kyle YAYAYAYAYAY! I love him sooooo freakin Much! and When Im pissed off Im like Errrg Fuck You! I dont even want to speak to him or even be with him, Then when Im sad Im like I know hes gonna cheat on me, Or leave me. and That scares me to death!
I was talkin to Jme n the mall, while we were waitin for Mel, and I told her the strong feelings I have for Kyle. and Shes understood, Kyle gets so down on himself Hes like "Im ugly" and "You'll find better" balh blah ..Ok WTF! doesn't he understand That he maybe "Ugly" to others but hes "Everything" to me and "I dont want to find better, He's My betterness I dont want anyone else"Nevermind It's stupid of me to even say this But "I dont want anyone betetr, I want him as My one and My only and I know that will NEVER happen b/c he Kyle and One of these days or soon he'll get soo effin annoyed with me, he'll just up and leave and forget me" and W/e I ODnt EFFIN know anymore GRR