wonderful saturday <3
today's saturday. yesterday was my little brother's 2nd birthday. happy bday brandon <33 also happy sweet 16 to lindsey! love you girl & hope it's the best ever. not doing much of anything today..talked to cole for about an hour and a half last night and then i've been talkin to him since like 8:30 this morning. i swear like no one wants us together..and i jus dont understand. no one wants me to be fucking happy and im sick of it. arent your friends supposed to be HAPPY for you?! well..obviously i don't have very many friends. they all tell me how im makin such a big mistake b/c cole has hurt me before..but they don't understand. they dont kno cole like i know him..and he didn't mean to hurt me & yes, i truthfully believe him when he says that. he was confused like i was and didn't know what to do. he tells me how he misses me, and i feel the same way. im not sure if he wants to be w/ me or not and its killing me not to know. shane keeps trying to rush me to ask him out. well, everyone knows that i've never asked a guy out in my life. not that i wouldn't or anything. im jus scared of rejection..and i always have been. im even more afraid of rejection w/ cole b/c i dont know how he feels. yeah, he tells me that he loves me & i asked him today if he had feelings for anyone else, and he said "no not really." so, i dunno. if i ask him out, and get rejected...i would be so upset. and i def wouldn't be able to handle it..so that's why i've been avoiding that shane. geeze - now ya know. cole went to go to sleep about 10 minutes ago..i told him he was gonna make me wait all day before i get to talk to him again and he was like.."naw." i was like.."you better not." and then we said the whole "bye baby i love you" thing..omg. -sigh-..he's like so..perfect? i know i've always been told that nobody's perfect..but he's so close, it scares me. it's just s o m e t h i n g about this boy that jus makes me..like i dunno. god, i love him. :( I wrote a stupid poem a few minutes ago & i guess i'll post it , even though it's incredibly gayyy. take a guess on who its about ;] <3 jenn and post me some love ;]
All I Wanted
By:Jennifer
All I wanted to do was be your baby.
But when I asked u if you felt the same, you said maybe.
My heart felt crushed into a million pieces.
I wasn't sure what you meant, but my love never ceases.
Cole, I can't picture life without you by my side.
When you broke up with me, I felt like I could've died.
I've never met anyone quite like you.
No one's been able to make me happy like you do.
Baby, It's almost like I can't live without you in my heart.
I wanna be with you so bad, I jus dont kno where to start.
--i know its short..but it def tells how i feel <3 cole - i jus wanted you to know that i love you so much baby & i hope you know that i'd do anything jus to be with you. i told you i didnt wanna fight anymore if we were to get together and i meant it. i think we've gotten a lot closer since then..and i dunno. but i love you so much baby. <3 your lil "cheeser" haha.
i LoVe y0u CoLe FoReVeR aNd aLwAyZ <3
All I Wanted
By:Jennifer
All I wanted to do was be your baby.
But when I asked u if you felt the same, you said maybe.
My heart felt crushed into a million pieces.
I wasn't sure what you meant, but my love never ceases.
Cole, I can't picture life without you by my side.
When you broke up with me, I felt like I could've died.
I've never met anyone quite like you.
No one's been able to make me happy like you do.
Baby, It's almost like I can't live without you in my heart.
I wanna be with you so bad, I jus dont kno where to start.
--i know its short..but it def tells how i feel <3 cole - i jus wanted you to know that i love you so much baby & i hope you know that i'd do anything jus to be with you. i told you i didnt wanna fight anymore if we were to get together and i meant it. i think we've gotten a lot closer since then..and i dunno. but i love you so much baby. <3 your lil "cheeser" haha.
i LoVe y0u CoLe FoReVeR aNd aLwAyZ <3