my life = bleh =/
my life totally sucksss. to start things off, cole isn't talking to me. and to make things worse, i get a letter in the mail saying i wont recieve any credits this year due to my absenses (in other words, im failing)..lol. thats funny..seriously. but it pisses me off more than anything. and bleh - i jus dunno what to do anymore. mom is all mad at me because of that but whatever. bleh-i cant wait till this weekend whit&jazzy cuz i needa get my mind off of all this shyt that's happening. i dont even know whats up w/ me and cole. it makes me mad how he said i could call him at nine and it was busy allll night (9-3:30 am). i wonder who HE was talking to? :( i could say i don't care - but that would be a lie..b/c i care about that boy more than anything i've ever had. it's jus..iunno. something is bothering him or happening to him that he isn't telling me about..and it's bugging me not to know. im his girlfriend, he's supposed to be able to talk to me about anything..right? i mean - i def talk to him bout anything that's on my mind..don't i deserve the same respect? so, yeah..that's how things are with THAT right now..
my psychologist appointment went fairly well today..surprisingly. someone FINALLY took my side on things..considering everyone always sides w/ my mom because everyone thinks she's like oh-so-right and shiiit. but ha..the psychologist finally saw things the way i see them. i told her about how mom is constantly accusing me of things that i'm not doing. and it's the truth..she ALWAYS does that shyt..and im sick and tired of it =/ so mom was playing all innocent and she was all like.."yeah i know i have a few things i need to change too." psh..a few? whatever. mom was telling her how i always have this attitude and shyt..lol. like she never has an attitude? puh-leez. lol. so yeah i had to take some sort of test thing to figure out what was wrong w/ me. and she told me that i have manic depression..which means my moods change a lot. and that's true..when i read that report i was like.."wowww that really does sound like me." and it did. but i didnt think this shyt was as serious as actually having depression..but according to her, it is. so yeah, now im officially diagnosed w/ depression. *rolls eyes* woot woot. omg..can we say lame? who actually has the time to sit here and diagnose people with these stupid things? so yeah..she gave me a different medication that's supposed to help "manage my anger and mood swings" (in her exact words). funny. my anger is no different then when other people get angry - my mom just over exaggerates a LOT..so now, i have to take medication because of her stupidity. blah =/ so im not a happy camper about that either. so yeah i gotta go back in like june or something..i dunno. she had me take another test to see how "deep" in depression i was..and when i go back next time, she'll have those results. bLehh.
hannah leaves for south carolina tomorrow. have a SAFE trip baby girl. and make sure ya give me a call..you know the digits! make sure you find KRIS and tell him i said heyy! haha. so silly ;] ill miss youu. be good and good luckkk.
okay so now that i have the time..let me do the little thing about morgan. mkay..well last saturday she had wanted me to come over her house so i was all like "okay that sounds cool." so, i had plans to go chill over there for the night cuz cole had prom..so things were all planned out and shit. well at like 2, she calls and is like.."hey! wanna go over keiths tonight for a party?" and i was like.."um..well is there gonna be alcohol and shit?" and she was like.."duh of course." and i was like.."nah thats aight ill jus stay home cuz i have bad judgements when i drink and i dont think cole would approve of that." and she was all like.."well cole doesnt have to know..not like imma tell him or anything". whoa..that made me mad. so i told cole about it and he was all like.."well if u wanted to go and you woulda told me bout it, i wouldnt have a problem..but now cuz she said that i dont want u goin." so i explained to him how i didnt even wanna go because of the alcohol and narcotics that would be there. so he was happy for meh =) but it just made me mad. and morgan had went and told shane (my best guy friend) that the only reason she wanted me to go was so she could get me drunk and make me do something w/ another guy so she could tell cole and make us break up so she could get me hooked back up with channon. whoa - i was appauled. why the HELL would she wanna do something like that? def not something your "best friend" would say. first of all, i have no feelings like that what-so-ever for channon. i would never go back out with him..def not something i see happening in the future. i love cole like no other, and her, outta everyone i thought knew that..but obviously she didn't. so, she called me sunday and told me how i was "too trusting" because i let cole go to prom by himself around girls and stuff. LOL. that's so dumb..she needs to worry about her own life, and stop concentrating on mine. i mean, she IS the one that's knocked up..not me. but yeah, thats whats up with that. she wrote a letter to me and MAILED it and i got it yesterday. it was explaining how she was sorry and that she realizes how she fucked things up for our friendship and how she promised to never do it again and how im her best friend and it would kill her to lose me and stuff like that. but i dun really know what to think. WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS DO? i mean, im about the ONLY one out of her friends that stood by her through her pregnancy, and i promised that, no matter what happened, i always would be there for her. and i dont really WANNA let a stupid thing like this ruin 12 years of friendship, but i mean - she's the one that brought this upon herself..ya know? and i dont wanna be the oh-so-nice person and just forgive her like that..b/c well, im tired of being miss nice girl. so give me advice ya'll...
before i go, let me take the time to write something to my baby. cole lee dorsey - i want you to know that i love you with all of my heart and whatever is going on, i wish you would tell me. i will always love you - no matter what..and its not gonna change now. i just wish you would talk to me. the way you have been avoiding me these past couple of days have hurt me more than you can imagine. im not used to falling asleep w/o hearing you say that you love me..i live for those words. with all this shit happening, i need you more than anything. i dont wanna lose you..god, thats the last thing i need. baby, please take the time to tell me whats wrong & i love you with all of my heart...promise. i-l-o-v-e-y-o-u-c-o-l-e <3always&forever-jenn
aight ya'll enough for this lovely wednesday..only two more days girlies! i love y-o-u so leave comments <3always&forever-jenn
tRu_c0uNtRy_qUrL <33
my psychologist appointment went fairly well today..surprisingly. someone FINALLY took my side on things..considering everyone always sides w/ my mom because everyone thinks she's like oh-so-right and shiiit. but ha..the psychologist finally saw things the way i see them. i told her about how mom is constantly accusing me of things that i'm not doing. and it's the truth..she ALWAYS does that shyt..and im sick and tired of it =/ so mom was playing all innocent and she was all like.."yeah i know i have a few things i need to change too." psh..a few? whatever. mom was telling her how i always have this attitude and shyt..lol. like she never has an attitude? puh-leez. lol. so yeah i had to take some sort of test thing to figure out what was wrong w/ me. and she told me that i have manic depression..which means my moods change a lot. and that's true..when i read that report i was like.."wowww that really does sound like me." and it did. but i didnt think this shyt was as serious as actually having depression..but according to her, it is. so yeah, now im officially diagnosed w/ depression. *rolls eyes* woot woot. omg..can we say lame? who actually has the time to sit here and diagnose people with these stupid things? so yeah..she gave me a different medication that's supposed to help "manage my anger and mood swings" (in her exact words). funny. my anger is no different then when other people get angry - my mom just over exaggerates a LOT..so now, i have to take medication because of her stupidity. blah =/ so im not a happy camper about that either. so yeah i gotta go back in like june or something..i dunno. she had me take another test to see how "deep" in depression i was..and when i go back next time, she'll have those results. bLehh.
hannah leaves for south carolina tomorrow. have a SAFE trip baby girl. and make sure ya give me a call..you know the digits! make sure you find KRIS and tell him i said heyy! haha. so silly ;] ill miss youu. be good and good luckkk.
okay so now that i have the time..let me do the little thing about morgan. mkay..well last saturday she had wanted me to come over her house so i was all like "okay that sounds cool." so, i had plans to go chill over there for the night cuz cole had prom..so things were all planned out and shit. well at like 2, she calls and is like.."hey! wanna go over keiths tonight for a party?" and i was like.."um..well is there gonna be alcohol and shit?" and she was like.."duh of course." and i was like.."nah thats aight ill jus stay home cuz i have bad judgements when i drink and i dont think cole would approve of that." and she was all like.."well cole doesnt have to know..not like imma tell him or anything". whoa..that made me mad. so i told cole about it and he was all like.."well if u wanted to go and you woulda told me bout it, i wouldnt have a problem..but now cuz she said that i dont want u goin." so i explained to him how i didnt even wanna go because of the alcohol and narcotics that would be there. so he was happy for meh =) but it just made me mad. and morgan had went and told shane (my best guy friend) that the only reason she wanted me to go was so she could get me drunk and make me do something w/ another guy so she could tell cole and make us break up so she could get me hooked back up with channon. whoa - i was appauled. why the HELL would she wanna do something like that? def not something your "best friend" would say. first of all, i have no feelings like that what-so-ever for channon. i would never go back out with him..def not something i see happening in the future. i love cole like no other, and her, outta everyone i thought knew that..but obviously she didn't. so, she called me sunday and told me how i was "too trusting" because i let cole go to prom by himself around girls and stuff. LOL. that's so dumb..she needs to worry about her own life, and stop concentrating on mine. i mean, she IS the one that's knocked up..not me. but yeah, thats whats up with that. she wrote a letter to me and MAILED it and i got it yesterday. it was explaining how she was sorry and that she realizes how she fucked things up for our friendship and how she promised to never do it again and how im her best friend and it would kill her to lose me and stuff like that. but i dun really know what to think. WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS DO? i mean, im about the ONLY one out of her friends that stood by her through her pregnancy, and i promised that, no matter what happened, i always would be there for her. and i dont really WANNA let a stupid thing like this ruin 12 years of friendship, but i mean - she's the one that brought this upon herself..ya know? and i dont wanna be the oh-so-nice person and just forgive her like that..b/c well, im tired of being miss nice girl. so give me advice ya'll...
before i go, let me take the time to write something to my baby. cole lee dorsey - i want you to know that i love you with all of my heart and whatever is going on, i wish you would tell me. i will always love you - no matter what..and its not gonna change now. i just wish you would talk to me. the way you have been avoiding me these past couple of days have hurt me more than you can imagine. im not used to falling asleep w/o hearing you say that you love me..i live for those words. with all this shit happening, i need you more than anything. i dont wanna lose you..god, thats the last thing i need. baby, please take the time to tell me whats wrong & i love you with all of my heart...promise. i-l-o-v-e-y-o-u-c-o-l-e <3always&forever-jenn
aight ya'll enough for this lovely wednesday..only two more days girlies! i love y-o-u so leave comments <3always&forever-jenn
tRu_c0uNtRy_qUrL <33