if there is a god, i must have done something to piss it off
My life in recent times:
---Got a new job, moved into a new house with dogs and fun roommates...life is nice.
---My new room in infested with fleas. after one night i count 27 flea bites on my left foot and give up counting after that cause the rest of my body looks about the same. people think i have chicken pox. feels like i have chicken pox. resisiting the urge to scratch takes more willpower than i have.
---Got the flea problem mostly fixed with copious amounts of chemicals. a few bastards still manage to drink my blood. still working on killing them without remorse.
---still haven't moved in completely because of 1.working 50+ hours a week 2.not having a car to go an purchase required organizational items 3.Lack of funds (see below)
---drop my phone in the toilet, fortunately before the pee started to flow. watched it stay lit for a second or two under water, then go blank and never live again. if i ever had you number, i don't have it now. had to fork over $100 to replace a perfectly good, yet shitty, phone.
---was getting ready for work friday night and noticed my wallet was missing. the assfuck who stole/found it spent over $800 of my hard earned money and emptied both of my bank accounts. I had to put a fraud alert on my credit account because my social security card and driver's license were in the wallet too. The cops think the aforementioned fucknugget my try to open a credit card in my name of steal my identity. if he becomes me i hope i get to steal my wallet and rob my ass blind.
---to cheer myself up i went to the home improvement place and bought some window blinds to make my room look nicer. i luckily have a job where i recieve cash tips on a daily basis, my only current source of income. the blinds are completely the wrong size. yay. cheer.