So confussed?!?!?!?
So ya I love this beautiful woman and I don't know what to do about it? Things aren't going well and I just want to fix everything.... but you can't just wish everything all away.. you have to work things out.. Time is always of a essence so I guess I just have to wait.... I feel so upset but yet I have to be strong cause I'm not a baby.. and well I guess life goes on... So I'm going to press forward get my act straighten out.. get an apartment and a new car... go to school and take each day one step at a time... If the woman of my heart decides she wants to keep me... as hers then I'll make sure I do not faulter this time.. I'll make sure that I'm strong and that I put the past behind me forsure... All I know is just within these past months she has shown me to become more strong and shown me that I can do anything I just have to put my foot down and do it...She is a very strong person and she can get whatever she wants in life... I know I've only been with her for 6 months but why should that play apart in anything people sometimes grown closer in a small amount of time.. Other than long periods of time.. Expecially if they care about one another... But as far as I'm concerned I'm here to learn... to listen and to do what this life wants of me.... Even though at this point right now I feel a bit helpless.. Cause most of my life I've felt I've been a fuck up... I'm 22 in debt when I knew better and well I made all the same mistakes instead of learning from them.... from others... (Now if she does read this I LOVE YOU with everything I am and whatever you decide is fine.. I'll always be there for your decsions.. I do trust you ... I'll be here to talk to if you need me.. till then I'll be working and cleaning up my own act... I'm sorry for fucking up.. with your trust amongst other stuff.. I'm sure but I totally did not see it.... If you let me I'll gain it back even if it takes forever... Till I talk to you again. I miss you and your beautiful smiling face... and those pericing eyes.. *hugs* )So ya to all the other people who read my blog... I might not be in the best spirits for a while till I figure out whats going on... If anything I will be at home asleep or trying to sleep.. working my ass off so I don't think about the pain I'm in.. emotionally...