132th. Figuring It Out
Okay, here comes the third piece of the puzzle! :D
Title: Figuring it out.
Rating: M<3
Paring: RenIchi
Other: I started this story in what feels like ages ago, then sent it to captain_doxa, who then was fallowed by pb_cookie, writerx75 and lastly spikykun . I had a blast during this round and thank you for making this so awesome <3
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Figuring It Out
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Something’s wrong. Well, not necessarily wrong, it's just that I have this feeling that something's off. Good or bad, something's going to happen.
Ichigo moves towards me, across the empty schoolyard and I can feel something, but I have no idea what.
He’s coming closer, frowning harder than he normally does. What is it? Where’s the problem?
There.
He steps right into my personal space, much closer than I had expected him to. I don't back away... I don't move at all, wonder spreading through my body.
He kisses me.
Right on.
His eyes half-closed, focused on my face.
What the...
I can feel the pressure rising slightly just before he pulls back.
"Renji, I like you."
So, that's what's off. How the fuck should I have guessed that?
"I-" This feels surreal. "I'm sorry Ichigo, I've never thought about you in that way. I'm not gay." I can feel my hands rising, to catch him? To support him? I do not know. Just a reflex, I guess.
He’s standing firmly before me, bag hanging over his shoulder as usual.
"I know, but I just had to say that to you. You know what I’m like, I had to try giving myself a chance. Actually, I just wanted to hear you say it." He smiles only to make it seem like he's okay. He probably isn't aware of the fact that a smile like that has the opposite effect on people who actually know him. "Wanna go and catch a movie or something?" he asks as he turns and starts walking down the street, expecting me to follow him- which I gladly do.
"That Toy Story film? In 3D? Pretty please?" I say, catching up to him.
And everything is again just as it used to be.
Maybe I should ask him how he feels… But the faint smile is still there, and that's his way of telling me that everything's okay and that he wants me to forget about it. Looks like my answer really did affect him.
But he said that he had already known, so... what? I shouldn't think so much. Right?
Even if this really struck him, he'll get over it soon anyway. After all he's a good kid; he’s in a great shape, kind, the one who will come and save you whenever you're in a pinch. Every girl’s dream.
Nicely shaped jaw, smooth skin. It shouldn't be hard for him to find someone new.
In a way, he's gorgeous.
He'll be fine.
-
Nothing has changed, but it still feels like everything has.
Every time my eyes glanced at him during the movie, I could see him either turning his face back to the screen or having his gaze seemingly glued to my hand. Does he want to hold my hand? Why? How did he develop these feelings? Why did he suddenly tell me about them? Why has it become so obviously clear to me just because he told me?
Why do I want to hold his hand?
Shit Renji, you can't start feeling things for the kid just ’cause he likes you. It's just that your body sees this as an opportunity to get laid. Use your upper head, Renji.
Stop thinking about it. Focus on the Spanish Buzz Lighter for the moment.
Still, it’s mesmerizing how the light from the big screen is playing over his face. It would be so easy to succumb to all his wishes right now.
Hopefully, I look as cool in these 3D glasses as he does.
-
He has entered the classroom just in time, the teacher following him just a few seconds later.
Our eyes meet and lock. Why does he seek me out?
Right. I know the answer to that. Doesn't explain why I'm seeking him out though.
He crashes down into the seat next to mine. He pulls his book up on the table and buries his head in it. It's the usual scenario, never talking during the class.
He runs his fingers through his hair as soon as the bell rings, the orange spikes bouncing right back into place after his fingers touch them. He gets up and stretches his back, lifting his arms as high as he can behind his back and for a few seconds his white shirt strains against his firm torso. Throwing his school bag over his back he walks right by me, not sparing me a glance.
"Hey Ichigo!" I call after him, not being able to just let him go. "Wanna spar today?"
He turns around to face me, and he checks me out so fast that I almost missed it before his eyes meet mine. And then he grins, "I won't go easy on you."
"Wouldn't want it any other way." I chuckle.
The conversation dies, and for a couple of seconds we find ourselves just standing there. He breaks the gaze and turns to leave. I follow.
-
He puts the bag on the floor and repels himself out of his body, which he catches before it hits the ground. The t-shirt slides up as he wraps his arms tightly around the body and carries it away so he can lean it against the closest boulder. It looks so relaxed; the shoulders have slumped, the lips have parted.
"Wanna start then?" I tear my eyes from Ichigo’s body, and focus them on his soul form.
"Just giving you some time to reflect on your life," I snap, a wide grin spreading over my face and I bring Zabimaru up as he rushes towards me.
Our blades meet, strength being measured before we slide away. Turn. Dive in again. The adrenaline is building up, rushing through me. I love this feeling.
Zabimaru bites into one leg of his hakama and tears a hole. I see a flash of skin as Ichigo bends his leg. I don't even get why I notice it, a bit of a thigh is not even that attractive.
There are wounds on my hip, on his shoulder, on my forearm, on his head, always on his damn head. I can see his chest heaving as he breathes, a trickle of sweat running down his neck. I look down at my lower body, noticing all the holes in my hakama. Torn like this, it does more damage than good now, so I throw Ichigo a glance, just to make sure that he's not in the middle of an attack before I pull it off.
"Let's stop for today," I hear him call as soon as the torn piece of clothes hits the ground.
"Huh?" What has just happened?
"I need to get back home. Dad’s rules, you know. I don't have the will to argue with him today." Oh, right. Time.
"Truth be told, you're just scared you won't be able to keep up with him."
"Speak for yourself, Renji," he laughs as he heads back to his own body.
-
He has new headphones. They're white; with a teal blue frame which goes around the buds and some strange symbol on each of them. They produce a contrast to his hair without going over the top.
Where did he learn to style himself like that? His hair is orange, it should be hard for him to match other colors. I'm not able to mix and match them, at least. As soon as I put on something that isn’t in white or black, I look strange. It's not fair.
Maybe I should ask him to buy me clothes.
"Hey, Ichigo! Are you free?" I increase my speed a little, catching up with him and Rukia.
"Yeah, I guess. I was planning on having a dinner and spending the night online, though. Why? What do you wanna do?" I can see him scowling, but I know that he'll agree and come with me in the end.
"I need some clothes. Why don’t you show me the way around the shops?"
"I can show you the best shops in town," Rukia chirps in, and I lean forward a bit to see her past Ichigo. What should I say to that? I don't want her to. Her clothes are terrible; they always have some damn bunnies on them. People laugh at us when I’m with her.
"You're not gonna show him anything." Ichigo growls as we turn around the corner and enter his street. "Just, wait here a minute, I'll just change out of this," he pulls on his school uniform shirt, "and then I'll follow you guys around the town." He stops before making a turn, heading for the front door.
"Wait, Ichigo! I'll change too!" she calls and rushes after him. "Renji, wait here, okay?"
"Yeah, sure."
-
He picks out clothes without paying them a second glance. He gives me torn, bleached jeans, t-shirts with wide collars, trench coats and shiny jewelry. I almost fall in love with myself all over again as I look into the mirror.
He opens the door to the small dressing room and I meet his gaze in the mirror.
"Satisfied?" he asks.
"Yeah, I can see why you fell for this." I chuckle. His eyes widen in the mirror, and so do mine in realization. What the fuck, Renji? You’re not supposed to actually say that kind of stuff; you shouldn’t rub his nose in that shit. "Look, Ichi-"
"Just forget about it." His eyes don't meet mine anymore. "You look great, so... wrap it up?"
"Yeah, but do I have to change back into my old stuff?"
"No, just have the tags visible so she can read them off you."
I'm glad I haven't been paying for my living since I came here. I have enough money to basically let him do whatever he wants to.
"So, let's head to the next shop then?" Ichigo says as soon as we hit the streets again.
"One more?" I can't help but raise my eyebrows at that. "I thought we were done."
"It's part of the culture, Renji," Rukia says knowingly. "You should never be satisfied after visiting just one store. You wanted to go shopping, so we won’t let you go until you have a whole new wardrobe."
"In here." Ichigo nods towards another shop. It looks a bit cheaper than the earlier, and a lot darker.
There are big fluffy skirts in black and purple along one wall, handcuffs with fur and belts with nits along the other. Shuuhei would love this place. So would Rangiku, but then again, what wouldn't she like?
"Renji, here!" Ichigo tosses me a red pair of jeans. They look about five sizes too small but I won't argue with the current style. I duck behind the black drape.
I wonder how being together with Ichigo would look like. Would we spend our dates like this? With Rukia or someone else always present? Ichigo wouldn't be the type that would want to be all lovey-dovey in public anyway.
"Ichigo," I call as soon as I've succeeded slipping into the skinny jeans and he and Rukia stick their heads into the dressing room.
"Nice ass," she says, and I growl a thanks.
"I don't think I can wear underwear in these," I mumble, lifting my shirt up so they can see how fucking low the jeans are reaching, just two or three centimeters before my tattoos end, and that my friend, says a lot. I look up again, to see their faces in the mirror: Rukia with her eyes wide open, Ichigo with clenched teeth. With great power comes great responsibility; guess he wasn't able to handle it. "But I can see that you guys like them, so I guess I'll have 'em."
"How about a coffee after you've paid for them?" Rukia asks, and both Ichi and I mumble ‘sure’ in response.
-
Exhaustion strikes me as I close the door to my room behind me.
Tossing the bags into one corner, I fall down on the bed kicking off my new shoes, and flipping to the next song on my new mp3 player at the same time. Ichigo filled it with music in 15 minutes and, yes, he does have a good taste in music, too. There's so much that I have never heard, so much that I don't know about.
I find one song that I've heard before, or at least I recognize the chorus. Maybe it's a popular song.
I raise the volume, feeling the sound streaming into my ears, blocking out the rest of the world.
After we had gone out of that dark store, I said that I also wanted something colorful, and Ichigo looked at me a bit strangely for a second until I poked his headset. He dragged us to the other side of the town and into some small store. He flipped through two magazines and talked to the man behind the counter for nearly fifteen minutes before he put these on me.
They're green, smaller than his but rounder. They look simple but they can seriously blow your mind away. I max the volume and close my eyes.
He's really nice. Even if he always scowls.
He really is nice.
-
It’s one of those tiresome lectures. My teacher is babbling something about conjugations, making the lesson as tedious as possible. It’s a hot, sunny day and the only thing I’m longing for is a long walk. Well, maybe not the only thing, but it’s close enough to that. Staring at the slightly swaying branches of the trees in the schoolyard, I let my eyes defocus and all I’m left in my view with is a calming green blur. Oh, this is so nice.
“Renji. Ren-ji! RENJI!” What?
“Renji, come on!” I feel something warm snaking across my shoulder blades, gripping my arm firmly a split second later.
“What?” I yell, trying to shake off the source of warmth.
“Wake the fucking up! Your phone is ringing, you dumbass.” Ichigo’s voice. I’m in the classroom.
“Wait, I can’t find it! And who are you calling-”
That’s been probably too much for the teacher to take. Tipping over the boiling point, she throws two pieces of chalk at us. It will take some time to get the chalk dust out of my hair. Fuck.
“Kurosaki, Abarai. Out!”
Ichigo tries to mouth something in protest, but I give him that ‘shut the fuck up’ look, and he really shuts the fuck up. That’s something new.
I snatch my bag and lead him out of the classroom.
“I just hope they don’t call my idiot father to inform him about this,” Ichigo grunts.
“If he locks you up, I’ll simply blow up your wall,” I say and pull out my phone. There’s a new message.
“Are you insane?”
“Get ready for some hollow hunting,” I cut him off, feeling a grin splitting my face.
-
We run off to the nearest bushes, so Ichigo can expel himself out of his body. Strangely, he uses Kon instead of the badge and directs him to carry my gigai to his house.
“Just make sure no-one notices you. Especially my father. Get that?”
“Yup!” Kon answers simply, running off with my gigai in his arms.
“What are you-“
“Renji, I want our bodies to be in a safe place. Or would you like to come back just to see that a dog has pissed on you? Bushes aren’t the most reliable choice, you know.”
“Oh, shut up already. We have some work to do.” Like I want to keep hearing some of that even for a second longer.
“So, where’s the hollow?”
“According to this,” I point to my phone with my other hand, “it should be somewhere by the river bank.”
I see him scowl and then I remember why. It’s not one of his favorite places for more than one reason, and I’m perfectly aware of that. There is probably something wrong with the look I’m giving him, as he’s looking away from me.
“Let’s just get it over with,” he murmurs.
A few flash steps later, we find ourselves by the river. The view in front of us is close enough to a depiction of utter peace; the air smells like flowers and grass and there is no street noise; which would make all the chirping inaudible. There is too much water in the river for this time of the year - it hasn’t rained for weeks - but nothing can surprise me in this crazy human world anymore.
“Strange... looks like the air is clear.”
At this point, Ichigo is scowling so hard that I have trouble not imagining how wrinkled his face will be in a few years. Being amused by the thought, I chuckle just a bit too loud.
“Wait, Renji. Something’s off.”
“What are you talking abou-“
“Shhhh,” Ichigo interrupts me. “Can’t you feel it?” His words were nothing but a whisper.
He’s right; something’s not as it should be. It’s probably time to start being nervous, as our opponent maybe isn’t just a low-class hollow. I give him a meaningful nod and try to observe the situation as best as I can.
There is no chirping anymore, I suddenly notice. Has something scared the birds? But what could it be?
I should’ve noticed the shadow under the water, I think as a Kraken-like hollow emerges. Looks like it really is a low-class hollow, though. The relief that has started spreading all over my body suddenly dissipates, as one of the slimy tentacles starts stretching out in our direction.
“Howl, Zabimaru!” I yell without a second thought. I don’t want to come close to that thing more than is necessary. Feeling the exciting rush of accumulated spirit energy, I outstretch my arm, allowing Zabimaru to swing and sway rabidly. The tip of Zabimaru bites the menacing tentacle and sinks into flesh easily, cutting off the limb without much effort.
That should do. Except that it doesn’t. Some kind of black fluid starts trickling out of the wound. Trickling turns into light spraying a blink later. Ichigo and I try to move out of the range, not knowing what the fluid could do to us.
“What have you done, you idiot? You can’t just mindlessly attack your enemy! Have you heard of something called planning?” Ichigo shouts at me, obviously annoyed. Oh fuck, the irony in that.
“At least I’ve done something. You’ve been standing there the whole time.”
“I was thinking. Something you’re maybe not familiar with.”
“And what good has it done to us? What's the plan, smartass?”
“R-Renji! Watch out!” Ichigo pushes me on the ground right as another tentacle comes near us, but not managing to duck in time. The hollow grabs Ichigo’s body and waves it around, moving him through the air in its grip.
Before I could even notice, both the hollow and Ichigo have disappeared under the water. He will drown like this. I don’t want him to die. I swing Zabimaru again, burying the tip of the blade in the water... and hoping that I won’t hurt Ichigo. Not that I have much to lose. I hit something and I can feel Zabimaru sliding over a soft surface, tearing the all-too-familiar texture of flesh apart. Make it work, make it work.
The water gets darker and I know that’s not the shade it would have gotten if I had cut Ichigo. I’m unable to describe the complex, heavy feeling of relief, of hope that has filled my every cell. Recognizing me as its opponent, the hollow appears... and Ichigo’s there too. His face is nearly blue, but I can feel his spiritual pressure so I know that he’s still alive.
It’s time to finish this. “Take this, filthy thing!” I shout, letting Zabimaru cut right through the hollow’s mask, just like I should’ve done right from the start. Right. He’s hurt because of me. He could’ve died. The hollow dissipates in a flash of light, just like it has never been there.
Oh shit. I take a flash step to the river, catching Ichigo as he falls. He’s soaking wet, his face is in an obviously unhealthy shade of blue and he’s breathing rather faintly. His skin looks flushed in more than one place - and suddenly I realize that those stains are actually burns. So, that’s what that hollow’s filthy blood does to you.
I secure one of his arms around my neck and rush in the only direction I could’ve run in this situation: Urahara’s shop.
“Don’t worry, Ichigo. He’ll patch you up in no time.”
I breathe in sharply, barely whispering, “And... I’m sorry.”
-
Part 2 is in the next entry.