102th. 29th. Miles Away, Inches Apart pt.4
Title: Miles Away, Inches Apart. (part 4)
Paring: Renji/Ichigo
Warning: for things that you should be warned for.
Other: No beta. Sorry it took such a long time, this has acctually been finished for a month or so - I thought I had sent it away, but then it turned out that I hadn't and so so.... It's just baby being who she is. lol ^^'
part three can be found here
Part 4.
-
I catch him as he falls, closing my arms around his waist and body, keeping him standing flushed against me. And I dip my nose into his hair, breathing his sent in, feeling my heartbeat increase. Oh, this isn't good.
I host him up a bit, closing my arms under his ass and I shunpo my way to his house.
I drop him down on his bed and his arms fall out on each side. He looks so good, his bronzed skin and bright hair against the white pillow in the gray moon light.
My fingers starts to travel, loosening the knot that binds his kimono together.
What the fuck are you doing?! Sure, he isn't drugged now but, he's passed out!
I sigh, closing my eyes, treading my fingers through my hair, rubbing the feeling of radiation out of my eyes. And then I fall down beside him, my arm creeping in under his clothes, up over his bare back, pulling him flushed against me. I didn't think such a relief would wash over me by just seeing him.
It's okay to stay, as long as you wake up before he does. As long as you get the hell out of here before he realise...
He smells good.
This feels good, how long has it been since I slept?
I'm kind of tired.
When I wake up- When I realise that I'm waking up, it's to something that's tickling my nose. I blow out some air, trying to blow away whatever it is that's bugging me from my much needed sleep.
There's a breeze hitting my shoulder and I try to pull the heat that I've wrapped myself around closer.
When I bury my nose into the tickling instead it stops tickling and I breath in deeply the smell that now became even clearer.
It smells so good. It smells just like Ichigo....
And slowly but surely yesterday's memories starts filling my mind again.
I snap my eyes open, just to be rewarded by what I already knew would be there; a orange mess off hair. I pull my head back as far as I can without moving anything else so that I can look down on his face.
He's sleeping, his breath hitting my chest with even breaks. He looks calm and peaceful out again, innocent in a way that should be impossible for him.
The kimono is still draped over his shoulders and one of my hands go from where it's placed on his back and over his hip and up his chest, stopping over his collarbones, my fingers gracing his neck. I should really leave, this daylight is to much for me to handle. He's to much for me to handle.
But he looks so good. Maybe just one kiss, one last, one first. Just...
I shuffle down a bit, so that I get eye to eye with him and his breath hits my face instead. Fuck, he's amazing up close too. My fingers start traveling again, lightly fallowing the sharp jaw, dipping into the space between his chin and lip before going up over his cheek and I let my thumb press against his bottom lip.
I move just a little bit closer, watching him closely as there's a breath that's breathed just a little bit sharper and his eyes moves under the locks. It's all okay, he's just dreaming. I gaze down at his lips and let my thump part them just slightly. A bit closer, my nose press against his cheek. I can't believe I'm doing this, that I'm exposing him to this shit again.
His breath sharpens just slightly again and his hand twitch lightly and I pull away.
"Ichigo?"
"What?" he grumps and squeeze his eyes together before he opens them and stares right into me. His pupils grows small fast, adjusting to the light and he winches a bit before he grows used to it.
His eyes are-
I don't know.
The bright white light that are surrounding us makes it possible for me to see every stripe of the iris, every different shade of brown and yellow. I can even see parts that seems to be green. The blackness that are his pupils shouldn't be able to be so black in this bright light.
It can't be possible that he's a human being. Nothing can be so well developed and be just another soul in the universe. Impossible.
My heart clench in my chest and I dig my fingers that are still at his cheek into his hair, my nails scraping at his scalp roughly before I pull him closer again. My nose bump against his cheek and that's the only warning he gets before I part my lips and crash them onto his.
I start bringing my other hand up, his fingers squeezing gently around my wrist, a silent way to tell me to stop. I steady my weight on it as I push him over to his back and roll over him.
His whole body is tense and I crack an eye open just to see that his eyes are shut tightly.
I don't like it and I tare away from his lips and go down on his neck instead. His pulse beats rapidly under my palm and he gasps as I bite down on the tender skin.
"Renji." There's a light panic in his voice and it's probably that that makes me stop.
I'm doing it again. I'm hurting him again.
I pull away completely.
He looks up at me with wide eyes. And my heart throbs once more.
I need to get out of here.
I shoot up from the bed, and before I know it my back hits the floor. I groan and then there's a light pain that settles in my wrist and I sit up to see what it is that's holding it. Black steel cuffs, who would have guessed?
"I knew you were gonna run again." Ichigo says as he sits up and throws his legs over the edge of the bed and lifts his hand, that the other edge of the cuffs are feasted to closer to me so that I can see them better. "These are reiatsu blocking so there's no need to try anything unnecessary."
I wince, why didn't I realise that sooner? Oh, now I feel slightly pathetic, but it goes over soon as I gaze up on him and the content look that has settled on his handsome face. And there's an anger that starts growing inside of me and he can probably see it cause the look disappear and the scowl deepens as his eyes grow darker.
I stand up, grabbing his cuffed wrist with my hand and putting a knee on the mattress between his legs, forcing him to look up at me. "Do you get what it is I want?" I nearly growl at him and he nods carefully and it pisses me of even more. My other hand lands at his shoulder and I push him down on the mattress, rolling my hips against his, feeling my cock starting to harden immediately. I lean in, whispering against his neck "This is what you'll get if you don't let me go." as I roll my hips against his once again.
Scare him, scare him so that he'll release you. And then get the hell out of here. Just leave him alone, you have to stay away from him.
"No." he says as his hand, the one I haven't pinned down, grabs my shoulder "I won't let you leave again."
His voice is so low that it makes the short hairs on my neck rise. And that's when I realise just how traumatized he really is, and that I could do next to anything and he would never leave me, never abandon me.
I've never felt so bad in my entire life. I didn't think you could hate yourself this much.
So why am I attaching my mouth to his? Why is my hand creeping down towards his hakama? And why am I not stopping?
He doesn't stop me as I undress him completely, he's not putting up a fight as I crawl between his legs. He arches beneath me as my fingers graze his inner thigh, shudders as I nudge his hole.
"Do you have any lube?" I ask, as I press the top of my index finger into him, feeling him tense up immediately. He breaths in deeply before he looks up at me.
"I have lotion in the drawer." he says, voice weak and as soon as he close that mouth again he gulps loudly.
As I reach for the drawer next to his bed my stomach tighten and I know that I don't wanna do this. I don't want to, not when his eyes are so large when they look up at me, not when his hands are so cold, not when it's so clear that he dosn't want to.
But for some reason I can't stop, I've never been able to hold back when it comes to him, have I?
The head of my cock is pressing lightly against his inner thigh as I press a smooth finger inside of him, and then one more.
Everything goes so smoothly that I almost fool myself into believing that it's all just a dream.
But then I enter him and his breath speeds up even more as he tenses up around me and I know that no dream can have eyes so real as the ones who're staring up at me right now.
I lean down and kiss him as my free hand run up and down his side, trying to be comforting as I slowly start moving.
His body is amazing, he's amazing. I have a steady hand on his hip that lifts him up enough and as I pic up my speed he swallows a keening noise.
I see the goosebumps on his chest, the hardened nipples and the hard cock between his legs. I host one of his legs up on my shoulder as I drive into him even harder, my eyes on his lips as his mouth falls open and his ragged panting breath get out in the open.
Close, so fucking close.
I bring my chained hand up to his cock, his hand landing on my side as I start to jerk him of. He shudders beneath me, eyes squeezing shut.
"Renji. Don't." That's all he says as the tries to push me away. I throw one last glance at the black metal that links us together before I pick up my speed, beating into him almost madly.
His moan as he comes; it's like a low rumbling that goes right trough him, right through me. His come hit his chest, reaching all the way up to his neck.
Pulsing around me I continue pounding for a few more seconds before I pull out and release onto the mattress, letting his legs fall down on each side of me.
His body tenses beneath me, and I can feel his reiatsu strong and sharp under an invisible surface. But it's okay, the cuffs will block and as to make sure I throw a glance at them, seeing them shake around his wrist.
And as I see small sparks of them flying away I realise that they're not strong enough to hold him down, no one is. And as to prove me right thin threads of his reiatsu starts leaking out, tickling up against my chest.
I don't know what to do. I can't start shooting here.
So I close my arms around him instead, my free hand finding a place in his hair, my other clamping down on his hand.
Fuck. I'm holding his hand.
His heart beats rapidly against my chest, his breath ragged in my ear but, eventually he calms down. And he's squeezing my hand right back.
For a couple of minuets that's all we do, until he coughs and I get off him.
I look at him out of the corner of my eye and he looks out the window.
"You've gotten better on controlling your energy." I say and he chuckles as that small grin finds its way back to his face.
"Yeah, I've practised a lot lately." I can feel a light tug in the cuffs as he turns to meet my eyes. "My dad will come any minuet so it might be best for you to hide in the closet."
I can't help but smile at that. "You sure you can let me go?"
He flinches clearly as he sits up next to me and oh, shit, what did I just say?
"Promise that you won't run." he says and that black lump finds it's way back into my throat. He doesn't get that I'm running for his sake, he doesn't- fuck, he's throwing away himself for my sake, to make me happy.
"I'll stay." I can't look at him as I say it, knowing fully well that I'm lying.
He reaches into the drawer, pulling out the key and easily unlocks both our wrists and then throws the cuffs and the key back into the drawer. I feel slightly stupid, I didn't even bother to look for them, and they were in such an obvious place...
He throws his legs over the edge of the bed and pulls on his hakama, tying it quickly as he gets up and walks over to the closet. Pushing the door open he pull out his body and enters it, rolling his shoulders lightly as he looks back at me.
"Come on, get in, my dad will be here any second now." And as on call I hear someone going up the stairs.
And somewhere in me I know that I should take this chance and run. But there he stands, one hand holding the closet door, a smirk on his face and I believes him. Believes that everything is just as it's supposed to be.
Just as it used to be.
-
so, ehm. Do you guys still like me?
Paring: Renji/Ichigo
Warning: for things that you should be warned for.
Other: No beta. Sorry it took such a long time, this has acctually been finished for a month or so - I thought I had sent it away, but then it turned out that I hadn't and so so.... It's just baby being who she is. lol ^^'
part three can be found here
Part 4.
-
I catch him as he falls, closing my arms around his waist and body, keeping him standing flushed against me. And I dip my nose into his hair, breathing his sent in, feeling my heartbeat increase. Oh, this isn't good.
I host him up a bit, closing my arms under his ass and I shunpo my way to his house.
I drop him down on his bed and his arms fall out on each side. He looks so good, his bronzed skin and bright hair against the white pillow in the gray moon light.
My fingers starts to travel, loosening the knot that binds his kimono together.
What the fuck are you doing?! Sure, he isn't drugged now but, he's passed out!
I sigh, closing my eyes, treading my fingers through my hair, rubbing the feeling of radiation out of my eyes. And then I fall down beside him, my arm creeping in under his clothes, up over his bare back, pulling him flushed against me. I didn't think such a relief would wash over me by just seeing him.
It's okay to stay, as long as you wake up before he does. As long as you get the hell out of here before he realise...
He smells good.
This feels good, how long has it been since I slept?
I'm kind of tired.
When I wake up- When I realise that I'm waking up, it's to something that's tickling my nose. I blow out some air, trying to blow away whatever it is that's bugging me from my much needed sleep.
There's a breeze hitting my shoulder and I try to pull the heat that I've wrapped myself around closer.
When I bury my nose into the tickling instead it stops tickling and I breath in deeply the smell that now became even clearer.
It smells so good. It smells just like Ichigo....
And slowly but surely yesterday's memories starts filling my mind again.
I snap my eyes open, just to be rewarded by what I already knew would be there; a orange mess off hair. I pull my head back as far as I can without moving anything else so that I can look down on his face.
He's sleeping, his breath hitting my chest with even breaks. He looks calm and peaceful out again, innocent in a way that should be impossible for him.
The kimono is still draped over his shoulders and one of my hands go from where it's placed on his back and over his hip and up his chest, stopping over his collarbones, my fingers gracing his neck. I should really leave, this daylight is to much for me to handle. He's to much for me to handle.
But he looks so good. Maybe just one kiss, one last, one first. Just...
I shuffle down a bit, so that I get eye to eye with him and his breath hits my face instead. Fuck, he's amazing up close too. My fingers start traveling again, lightly fallowing the sharp jaw, dipping into the space between his chin and lip before going up over his cheek and I let my thumb press against his bottom lip.
I move just a little bit closer, watching him closely as there's a breath that's breathed just a little bit sharper and his eyes moves under the locks. It's all okay, he's just dreaming. I gaze down at his lips and let my thump part them just slightly. A bit closer, my nose press against his cheek. I can't believe I'm doing this, that I'm exposing him to this shit again.
His breath sharpens just slightly again and his hand twitch lightly and I pull away.
"Ichigo?"
"What?" he grumps and squeeze his eyes together before he opens them and stares right into me. His pupils grows small fast, adjusting to the light and he winches a bit before he grows used to it.
His eyes are-
I don't know.
The bright white light that are surrounding us makes it possible for me to see every stripe of the iris, every different shade of brown and yellow. I can even see parts that seems to be green. The blackness that are his pupils shouldn't be able to be so black in this bright light.
It can't be possible that he's a human being. Nothing can be so well developed and be just another soul in the universe. Impossible.
My heart clench in my chest and I dig my fingers that are still at his cheek into his hair, my nails scraping at his scalp roughly before I pull him closer again. My nose bump against his cheek and that's the only warning he gets before I part my lips and crash them onto his.
I start bringing my other hand up, his fingers squeezing gently around my wrist, a silent way to tell me to stop. I steady my weight on it as I push him over to his back and roll over him.
His whole body is tense and I crack an eye open just to see that his eyes are shut tightly.
I don't like it and I tare away from his lips and go down on his neck instead. His pulse beats rapidly under my palm and he gasps as I bite down on the tender skin.
"Renji." There's a light panic in his voice and it's probably that that makes me stop.
I'm doing it again. I'm hurting him again.
I pull away completely.
He looks up at me with wide eyes. And my heart throbs once more.
I need to get out of here.
I shoot up from the bed, and before I know it my back hits the floor. I groan and then there's a light pain that settles in my wrist and I sit up to see what it is that's holding it. Black steel cuffs, who would have guessed?
"I knew you were gonna run again." Ichigo says as he sits up and throws his legs over the edge of the bed and lifts his hand, that the other edge of the cuffs are feasted to closer to me so that I can see them better. "These are reiatsu blocking so there's no need to try anything unnecessary."
I wince, why didn't I realise that sooner? Oh, now I feel slightly pathetic, but it goes over soon as I gaze up on him and the content look that has settled on his handsome face. And there's an anger that starts growing inside of me and he can probably see it cause the look disappear and the scowl deepens as his eyes grow darker.
I stand up, grabbing his cuffed wrist with my hand and putting a knee on the mattress between his legs, forcing him to look up at me. "Do you get what it is I want?" I nearly growl at him and he nods carefully and it pisses me of even more. My other hand lands at his shoulder and I push him down on the mattress, rolling my hips against his, feeling my cock starting to harden immediately. I lean in, whispering against his neck "This is what you'll get if you don't let me go." as I roll my hips against his once again.
Scare him, scare him so that he'll release you. And then get the hell out of here. Just leave him alone, you have to stay away from him.
"No." he says as his hand, the one I haven't pinned down, grabs my shoulder "I won't let you leave again."
His voice is so low that it makes the short hairs on my neck rise. And that's when I realise just how traumatized he really is, and that I could do next to anything and he would never leave me, never abandon me.
I've never felt so bad in my entire life. I didn't think you could hate yourself this much.
So why am I attaching my mouth to his? Why is my hand creeping down towards his hakama? And why am I not stopping?
He doesn't stop me as I undress him completely, he's not putting up a fight as I crawl between his legs. He arches beneath me as my fingers graze his inner thigh, shudders as I nudge his hole.
"Do you have any lube?" I ask, as I press the top of my index finger into him, feeling him tense up immediately. He breaths in deeply before he looks up at me.
"I have lotion in the drawer." he says, voice weak and as soon as he close that mouth again he gulps loudly.
As I reach for the drawer next to his bed my stomach tighten and I know that I don't wanna do this. I don't want to, not when his eyes are so large when they look up at me, not when his hands are so cold, not when it's so clear that he dosn't want to.
But for some reason I can't stop, I've never been able to hold back when it comes to him, have I?
The head of my cock is pressing lightly against his inner thigh as I press a smooth finger inside of him, and then one more.
Everything goes so smoothly that I almost fool myself into believing that it's all just a dream.
But then I enter him and his breath speeds up even more as he tenses up around me and I know that no dream can have eyes so real as the ones who're staring up at me right now.
I lean down and kiss him as my free hand run up and down his side, trying to be comforting as I slowly start moving.
His body is amazing, he's amazing. I have a steady hand on his hip that lifts him up enough and as I pic up my speed he swallows a keening noise.
I see the goosebumps on his chest, the hardened nipples and the hard cock between his legs. I host one of his legs up on my shoulder as I drive into him even harder, my eyes on his lips as his mouth falls open and his ragged panting breath get out in the open.
Close, so fucking close.
I bring my chained hand up to his cock, his hand landing on my side as I start to jerk him of. He shudders beneath me, eyes squeezing shut.
"Renji. Don't." That's all he says as the tries to push me away. I throw one last glance at the black metal that links us together before I pick up my speed, beating into him almost madly.
His moan as he comes; it's like a low rumbling that goes right trough him, right through me. His come hit his chest, reaching all the way up to his neck.
Pulsing around me I continue pounding for a few more seconds before I pull out and release onto the mattress, letting his legs fall down on each side of me.
His body tenses beneath me, and I can feel his reiatsu strong and sharp under an invisible surface. But it's okay, the cuffs will block and as to make sure I throw a glance at them, seeing them shake around his wrist.
And as I see small sparks of them flying away I realise that they're not strong enough to hold him down, no one is. And as to prove me right thin threads of his reiatsu starts leaking out, tickling up against my chest.
I don't know what to do. I can't start shooting here.
So I close my arms around him instead, my free hand finding a place in his hair, my other clamping down on his hand.
Fuck. I'm holding his hand.
His heart beats rapidly against my chest, his breath ragged in my ear but, eventually he calms down. And he's squeezing my hand right back.
For a couple of minuets that's all we do, until he coughs and I get off him.
I look at him out of the corner of my eye and he looks out the window.
"You've gotten better on controlling your energy." I say and he chuckles as that small grin finds its way back to his face.
"Yeah, I've practised a lot lately." I can feel a light tug in the cuffs as he turns to meet my eyes. "My dad will come any minuet so it might be best for you to hide in the closet."
I can't help but smile at that. "You sure you can let me go?"
He flinches clearly as he sits up next to me and oh, shit, what did I just say?
"Promise that you won't run." he says and that black lump finds it's way back into my throat. He doesn't get that I'm running for his sake, he doesn't- fuck, he's throwing away himself for my sake, to make me happy.
"I'll stay." I can't look at him as I say it, knowing fully well that I'm lying.
He reaches into the drawer, pulling out the key and easily unlocks both our wrists and then throws the cuffs and the key back into the drawer. I feel slightly stupid, I didn't even bother to look for them, and they were in such an obvious place...
He throws his legs over the edge of the bed and pulls on his hakama, tying it quickly as he gets up and walks over to the closet. Pushing the door open he pull out his body and enters it, rolling his shoulders lightly as he looks back at me.
"Come on, get in, my dad will be here any second now." And as on call I hear someone going up the stairs.
And somewhere in me I know that I should take this chance and run. But there he stands, one hand holding the closet door, a smirk on his face and I believes him. Believes that everything is just as it's supposed to be.
Just as it used to be.
-
so, ehm. Do you guys still like me?