Long Weekend
This weekend was completely insane... It started out with friday night... The girls were dying their hair and convinced me to dye mine. Dont worry i used semi-permanent dye and i barely changed the color... only girls can notice and shana fucked up her hair lol its ok we fixed it though... but yeah we did that. Then we met my parents at Costco to go shopping for the dorm. Me and the roomies then headed to a Delta Chi frat party(my first one ever).. The party was lame but i suceeded in getting myself drunk. Lo was driving so it was all good, we were safe. I didnt really want to socialize with anyone but my roomies so i kinda just stuck to my cup... Yeah all these guys were all over my roomates.. i dont really want guys to hit on me but i hate being the ugly fat one. It is a big killer to a self esteem that is already shot. Yeah so i made my funny comments of the night including "You look familiar... yeah from your bed tomorrow morning" and "I have to win guys over with my personality and when im drunk, im not going to lie, my personality aint so great"... Fun times, im an idiot.. whatever. Saturday I woke up and went to the work day from hell cause Chelsi was up in Flagstaff. We were under staffed like none other and we had a full house of parties, Fun SHIT huh!! I dealt with it but i was so tired when i left and all i wanted to do was go to my dorm and relax. Well on my way home i was talking to Chelsi while driving on the 101. Then i drove over something and it sounded like a rock hit the bottom of my car, which is not unusual when your driving on the highway so i thought nothing of it until my car started making a GOD-AWFUL noise.. Chelsi even heard it through the phone so i hung up and pulled off the highway.. Luckily i was close enough to an exit so i took it and went to a gas station. My dumbass thought my fucking transmission or something fell and was scraping the ground while i was driving.. In reality something fucking shredded my tire.. I dont use the word SHRED lightly! No one could come help me except chelsi but i felt bad so i just asked the gas station attendant.. So yeah the gas station attendant changed my tire. That was AWESOME!! I have never been so scared in my life cause i thought my fucking car was going to explode! So i knuckle gripped the steering wheel as i drove home. The Chelsi came a kidnapped me at my dorm cause i couldnt drive and we went and got coffee and saw the Aristocrats.. again. It wasnt as funny as the first time but it was cool hanging with the work crew. Then chelsi spent the night so she could drive me to work. Work was fine but im tired as crap now... Ive just been thinking about everything. I think about things too much and its not good. So Random thought..My roomates love taking pictures but i hate being in pictures with them because its like the 3 beautiful barbie dolls... and then me. They were taking pictures all night and showing them to me and i started hating myself for looking the way i do. Then i hate myself for being so self concious. Then i think.. why cant i just be dedicated enough to lose weight so i can feel better about myself.. All of these thoughts go through my head and i just hate it. It almost makes me want to never go out with them.. I would content just staying in or hanging out with work people cause then i at least feel normal cause im around people who i know already like me for who i am. I dont know that was just something i was thinking about. Yeah so i now i am cleaning my room and getting ready to do some homework..I think i will make it an early night and head to bed right after that...