(Untitled)

[lovethissuit]

[It's the wee hours of the morning and it's... Actually the first night's sleep Peter's gotten since showing up here that's been anywhere close to decent. So he still looks like hell, just slightly less so at the moment. When he speaks, it's quietly, and he keeps glancing off-screen as if to make sure of something.First things first. I might have

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[saveme_barry]

[Instead of sleeping tonight, Nathan ate a load of sweets and has been fucking with Tommy for hours. So now he's on a bit of a sugar rush and messing with the communicator. Have a video response, Peter, of him looking so, so happy.]

Did you just give me permission to kick you? Because that's totally what I'm taking away from this!

[lovethissuit]

[FACE. PALM.]

...Not you. You don't get that privilege considering you're pretty deserving of a good kick or two yourself from what I've seen so far.

[saveme_barry]

[Arms folded indignantly across his chest.]

Well that's not fair. If you can hit me, despite being deserving of a kick, then I should be able to kick you despite being kick worthy myself.

[He flops backwards onto his bunk. You now get to hear but not see him, Peter.]

So, what exactly is your effective charge taking going to entail? Because I feel I should warn you in advance, I have like, zero practical skills. I don't even have any useless skills, really, I mean, other than the obvious.

[The camera gives a little jolt, because it's sat on his lap and he just did a little hip thrust.]

[lovethissuit]

Hate to break it to you, but life isn't always fair like that. I know it's devastating to hear it.

[Pause to think and roll his eyes at the flopping. Very mature, Nathan.]

I'll figure that out once I know my resources. And even if you don't have any practical skills now, you can learn. [The implication being you will learn things and you will like it, young man.] Though I'm sure you can do something already. Everybody's got a talent. [And he really hopes yours isn't being a total dickwad.]

[saveme_barry]

I'm going to mentally store that, as an acceptable defense for hitting people.

[Nathan sits up a little, looking completely unconcerned by your threat of having to learn things. He just thinks that follow through is impossible.] People have been trying to make me learn things for literally years. It just doesn't go in! [He shrugs, not looking upset about this at all.]

I just wasn't engineered for usefulness, Agent Pete! I was born slightly deficient! The giant cock, stunning good looks, and fantastic sexual ability are Gods way of saying he's sorry for everything else!

[lovethissuit]

Oh, so you can file away information for later use? Well, that's a start at least. [He smirks because oh, he does love a challenge.] I'm not other people.

[AND FACEPALM PART DEUX because oh my god, Nathan, really. What even. He's going to ignore the sexual bits for his own sanity and just. He was going to make some kind of Bionic Man reference, but now... No.] Look. It's either Agent Burke, or Peter. I'm sure you can manage one or the other.

[saveme_barry]

Or I'm just a spectacular liar. Wait and see if I ever actually follow through on it, that'll be the test. [Fffff Nathan doesn't want to be your challenge, Peter. He just wants you to rise to his bullshit and occasionally hit him.] Everyone is other people, Mister. I hate to break it to you, but you're not that special.

[Nathan is sorta figuring out that you don't like being Agent Pete. That basically makes you Agent Pete forever.] What's wrong with Agent Pete? It's a happy middle ground between being too formal, and being...[Pause, as he searches for an objection to just calling you Peter] ...just a bit bland, you know?

[lovethissuit]

I've seen spectacular liars. I've worked with spectacular liars. And you? Aren't. [He can do both. He's a multitasker like that.] I'm not saying I'm special, but... I do have a pretty impressive win-lose record for things when I get going.

[Gdi, Nathan. He hates being called Pete. x|] I don't care what you may think about it, it's my name. So just use it and quit whining about it already.

[saveme_barry]

Maybe you've just not seen me in action yet? All that stuff I said about being in the IRA could have been completely true. [Totally convincing about this, what?] Yeah, well, if you wanna protect that ratio then might I suggest trying to teach Tommy how to do things? He's a bit backwards, but also weirdly receptive.

[Shouldn't have let on that it bothered you, Peter, you're doomed now :c] Hey, I'm not the on whining here, Pete. If you were to assign me a cute nickname, I'd wear it like a man.

[lovethissuit]

Yeah, and I'm a pinch hitter for the Yankees. [HE'S USED TO BETTER LIARS, NATHAN. You were dooomed to bustage from the beginning.] Don't worry, I'm not forgetting your little friend there. He'll be getting an education too.

[Curses. ;;] Except where I wouldn't give you a nickname because you already have a given one and it works just fine on it's own.

[saveme_barry]

[Pause. Because just re-think what you just said to him there, Pete.] You're going to force an education onto me and my little friend? [Pause] I don't think my little friend would be prepared to cooperate under such stressful circumstances.

[Srry :c] Well, maybe you should have asked your parents for a better name, because Peter simply is not serviceable.

[lovethissuit]

... [THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM. Or it should be with facepalming.] That isn't what I meant, and you damn well know it, you perverted little freak. Good lord, what is wrong with you.

It's been perfectly serviceable for thirty-odd years, okay. Just because you have a problem accepting it doesn't make it unusable.

[saveme_barry]

I am not just some cheap whore, Agent Pete! You keep talking to me like that and my little friend is never going to take an interest in his studies. [I'm so sorry, he's awful.]

You mean in your thirty years of life, you have never been called Pete? That feels so... deficient.

[lovethissuit]

Would you stop that. Not every other sentence spoken to you is someone trying to get into your pants.

[Have a what even face.] How is that deficient?

[saveme_barry]

I can try to be more discriminating about what I take as a come on, but 'my little friend'? Really Pete, you've got to take a little of this burden on yourself and just stop giving me ammunition!

[Innocent shrug] You've never even tested Pete. You've never taken him for a spin! Let Pete drive, Agent Burke! Let him live.

[lovethissuit]

Look, the Solomon kid is your friend. And he's smaller than you. There was nothing wrong in how I referred to him. So just shut up already. [But there's a smirk behind that fourth facepalm. It's tiny, but it's there.]

No, I think I'll leave Pete in the garage, thank you.