I wish this were a joke, but it's serious, which is somehow funnier
To the Bard Community:
The campus has been experiencing a number of sightings of sick and
possibly rabid skunks. To date we have dealt with three.
Rabies is spread through secretions (blood and saliva). DO NOT PET THE
SKUNKS!
The various stages of this devastating disease include an aggressive
stage in which the animal will attack anyone or anything near it. In the
latter stage, the sick animal seems drunk, staggering and confused.
Please do not attempt to help skunks or any other animal that looks
distressed. Call the emergency number 7777 immediately. Security will
contact animal control. You will notice that a usually nocturnal animal
is wondering around during daylight.
If you have a pet dog or cat, be aware that it may have come into
contact with an infected animal. The fur may be contaminated on your
pet. If you have children, warn them not to appraoch any animal.
I need all resident students to keep dorm doors shut. Door propping will
allow the four legged bad guys in, creating a difficult situation for
residents. And yes, there are two legged bad guys as well. Both are
smelly and dangerous.
If you have come into contact with an animal you feel is suffering from
this disease, please contact health services immediately or call
security at 7777.
Remember, the Werewolf of London was loosely based on a rabies attack at
Cambridge, and there is a full moon coming.
Keep safe,
Ken Cooper
Director of Safety and Secuity
Oh Bard... What other college in the world would need to warn students not to pet skunks? I'm so sick of these animal-loving hippies.
The campus has been experiencing a number of sightings of sick and
possibly rabid skunks. To date we have dealt with three.
Rabies is spread through secretions (blood and saliva). DO NOT PET THE
SKUNKS!
The various stages of this devastating disease include an aggressive
stage in which the animal will attack anyone or anything near it. In the
latter stage, the sick animal seems drunk, staggering and confused.
Please do not attempt to help skunks or any other animal that looks
distressed. Call the emergency number 7777 immediately. Security will
contact animal control. You will notice that a usually nocturnal animal
is wondering around during daylight.
If you have a pet dog or cat, be aware that it may have come into
contact with an infected animal. The fur may be contaminated on your
pet. If you have children, warn them not to appraoch any animal.
I need all resident students to keep dorm doors shut. Door propping will
allow the four legged bad guys in, creating a difficult situation for
residents. And yes, there are two legged bad guys as well. Both are
smelly and dangerous.
If you have come into contact with an animal you feel is suffering from
this disease, please contact health services immediately or call
security at 7777.
Remember, the Werewolf of London was loosely based on a rabies attack at
Cambridge, and there is a full moon coming.
Keep safe,
Ken Cooper
Director of Safety and Secuity
Oh Bard... What other college in the world would need to warn students not to pet skunks? I'm so sick of these animal-loving hippies.