(no subject)
i miss summer. :(
goood thing break is only two weeks away, i really need a break to just get awayy and relax and not have anything to worry about, well almost nothing to worry about. seems im always worried latley. it sucks but i cant help it. i hate how i cant control my feelings. this past weekened wasnt so bad tho, friday was actually a lot of fun. im really glad i got to hangout with stac and meliss and everyone cause i really do miss it. and this weekend should be fun too. and im sure we will have fun.
some people just piss me offfffff. but its wierd cause its not like they did anything, thats just the thing they dont do anything and it pisses me off but i cant stay mad. ever. im mad for about 10 seconds then im like waitt im tupid i cant be mad for that and i forget about it. i feel like im getting boring. its sad. i remember when i was fun and exciting and crazy but now im kind of just dull and it fucking sucks. but im not gunna let myself become any duller. im gunna get my old crazy self back becaseu i miss it.
its wierd like ive been thinking alot latley about how quick break came, it usually takes foreeeeevr to come but time went by fast i mean its already winter! like wtf! i remmeber last year it took honestly foreevvver for break to come. i mean were almost done with HALF he school year and it went by so quickly its insane.
its wierd to think like what i was like ayear ago, like last break i was a completly different person. well not completley but very. i had different friends and i considered different things fun then i do now, maybe its just that im growing up i dont kno. but i think i like who im becoming for the most part, im not really scared to get what i want anymore. to go after what i want and not worry about it. and not letting anything get in my way. but i miss having a group of friends to ALWYAS hangout with. i mean i love all the friends i do have but it seems they all have friends and little groups already and i dont really have one. i kinda wish i did and im gunna try and get one haha cause its hard to keep close relationships with friends you dont see all the time, i just want to have fun and not have shit to worry about, even tho i kno thats never gunna happen. because when you care you worry and i care about alot of people so i worry about shit. it sucks but its life. and id rather worry and care then not care at all.
its like over the summer i had the group of friends i hungout with every night, no asking fo plans we did the same thing every night, just chilled at harrisons. and i loooved it, loveeeed my friends we always had fun togetehr every night even tho we did the same thing every night it was always alsways fun no matter what.i just miss it. alottt.
i want the friends who you dont ask for plans because its already assumed that your hanging out. i kno i fucked up my realtionships with some of my friends in the past and that some of them hate me now, i get it i mean its your choice but whatever.
i just wantttt to be happy. is that to much to ask for?